‘I Use Technology For Family Communication, And Balance It With Outdoor Activities’

“Yes, I am guilty of keeping my phones with me, 24/7. But I have my reasons. My husband, Karan, is a site manager with a construction company and has to move from one place to another constantly. He stayed in different places in Arunachal Pradesh for close to three years whereas I was stationed in Guwahati, Assam, with my daughters.

I gave birth to our firstborn, our daughter, Shivangshi Maru, during the start of the pandemic and welcomed our second daughter, Vedangshi, two years later. Motherhood is definitely overwhelming, especially when I am single-handedly taking care of our daughters. Karan is a loving father and a caring husband and spends as much time as possible with us in between his tours. He always regrets that he misses out on so many milestones of our daughters due to work.

My parents are in Kolkata, and my elder brother and sister-in-law are in Bengaluru, while my youngest sister is working in Mumbai. My in-laws relocated to Rajasthan recently. We joke around that we are a pan-India family, and that using smartphones and following each other on social media are our only ways to keep in touch with each other and be aware of the happenings in each other’s life.

This also means that I have zero support system back in Guwahati where I am raising my two daughters. Except for a few close friends and their families here, I am on my own when it comes to taking care of my daughters. However, I have seen enough ups and downs in life, and yet I have learned to look at the positive side of everything.

So, yes, I am guilty of letting my kids watch phones/TV while I finish my chores in the house. And the phone is always the go-to option to distract them when they act fussy while eating.

But I have put technology to good use too.
On occasions, when my husband could not visit us for days on end, video calling was the only way our family could feel connected. He loves watching them draw, play, and share dinnertime meals via video calls.

Karan and I had a love marriage. Even though we have been constantly living apart after having kids because of his job, we try to keep the spark alive by texting and talking about the kids, food, and life in general every day. My phone is my constant companion, as through it I also keep in touch with my parents, in-laws, brother, sister-in-law, younger sister and other relatives. I try to balance my phone usage with outdoor activities.

A few months back, one of my uncles and his wife visited us. My uncle is a retired army officer and my aunt, Dr Bishakha Sharma, is a linguist. Both of them are disciplined, energetic, and extremely fit. Inspired by them, of late, I have started running in the morning to deal with my pregnancy weight gain.

Recently, on Sundays, my elder daughter, just a little over 4 years old, started accompanying me on my morning jogs. While out for the jog, I always tell her about the importance of fitness and the advantages of starting her fitness journey early. So, from setting up an alarm at 4 a.m. and checking my steps and heartbeat while running, to finding kid-friendly tiffin recipes online, I use so many apps and features available on a smartphone.

Also, I have installed a camera at home that sends the feeds to my phone directly to check on my daughters, whenever I have to step out for errands leaving them with a caretaker ( I quit my job during my first pregnancy). Recently, we got Alexa, and my kids are loving it—they ask it to play songs and tell stories while I finish my housework. It has become our family’s e-nanny.

Social media is my happy place, as after a hard day’s work with the children, I like to spend some “me time” browsing through feeds of friends, watching entertaining videos and even getting up to date with the latest parenting styles and trends. While I use messaging apps like WhatsApp to stay in touch with friends and get things done at home, groceries are ordered through apps too.

Recently, I have also started vlogging, and occasionally upload videos of my kids and motivational stuff for fellow moms. After becoming a mom twice over within a short span of time, I realized that all parents have good days and bad days, and a little bit of motivation in the form of a forward or an inspiring quote could do wonders for our mood."

By Suman Sharma

 (As told to Monali Bordoloi)