How I’m Teaching My 3-Year-Old Daughter Not To Pick All Items Off Supermarket Shelves

“Over the years, I have seen helpless parents and cranky children in many supermarket aisles. Children are tempted to pick things that are way beyond the family budget or are of no use to the household, and parents reluctantly give in to avoid embarrassing situations in public.

When I became a parent, I felt something could be done differently to improve the situation, as children will be children, and of course, things on supermarket shelves always look attractive, even to adults.

But I didn’t want to take the easy way out and go on these shopping trips leaving my daughter behind as some parents do. That would deprive her of so many new experiences. I wanted these monthly trips to the supermarket to be fun as well as a learning experience for my curious 3-year-old daughter, Zeeva. Also, these trips are an excuse for bonding with my daughter.

So, this is how I’m teaching my child not to pick everything from the shelves, and I start the prep at least a day before going on a shopping trip: 

• Before going to the store, I make a list of things to buy and show that to my daughter.
• I talk to her about what we can and can’t pick. I explain to her that only the things on our shopping list are allowed and that she should ask me before taking anything else.
• I ask her to make a list of things she wants, and for certain items on her list, I ask her to wait for the right occasion (like birthdays and festivals).
• I talk about the budget with her before going to the store. I explain to her that there’s a limit to how much we can spend, and getting extra items can go over that limit. I also involve her in deciding which items are most important within the budget.

But even after all this preparation, once my daughter ended up picking an item from the shelf, although she had a similar one at home! I took a firm stand and tried talking to her without raising my voice.

I used these exact words, “I know you want to have that doll, but do you remember that we come here to buy only what is on our list and not something else? And besides, you have a similar doll at home.”

I gently asked her to make a wish list of the things she wanted at the supermarket and reassured her that she might get some of those in the near future. Then I praised her for behaving well and sticking to the items on the list. I felt good that day, as I successfully diffused a tense situation which could have turned into a major public meltdown.

Additionally, whenever I go shopping with my daughter, I try to distract her by involving her in the shopping process. I generally ask her to help me find the same item from 2–3 different brands. Once she is slightly older, I’m planning to ask her to compare the prices of the same items from different brands.

I’ve learned to avoid going to the supermarket when my daughter is hungry or tired. Past experience has taught me that when my daughter is hungry, she tends to pick out unhealthy snacks and avoidable items from the shelves. So, now I always ensure that my child has a meal or a snack before heading to the store. This helps her to stay focused and avoid impulse buying.

Another lesson I’ve learned over the years is to set a good example for my child by sticking to the shopping list myself. My daughter keenly observes me and learns by watching and mimicking me.

It took me a while and a lot of patience to help my child make more mindful choices at the supermarket, but now trips to the supermarket are breezy and fun for both of us.”

   By Mridula Khanna Arora
(As told to Monali Bordoloi)