Q: My son is 8 years old and is highly addicted to playing games, watching videos on YouTube, which is affecting his academics and he keeps thinking about cartoons, etc all the time. It has become uncontrollable.

Dear Parent, Your worry has prompted you to seek help, which is such a good thing to do, especially when you see how your son’s life is being affected. Lost in a virtual world means that he is disconnected from the real world. It’s going to be hard for you to draw him out of this addiction on your own. May I suggest that you consult a counselor experienced in working with gadget addiction? If you need references, we will be happy to help.

Q: How to manage the behavioral changes, when there is an age gap between two kids?

Dear Parent, While there are some advantages of having an age gap between two children, you will be required to manage their behavior according to their age. Here are a few tips:Children go through different phases of development broadly divided into infancy, childhood, and teens. In each phase, a child has specific needs and abilities.Usually it’s the younger child who wants to imitate the older child and do things she is not ready for. Sometimes the older child comes down to the level of and behaves like the younger one. Some of these behaviors might seem inappropriate.Be clear about your expectations of each child and enforce the rules accordingly. While some rules apply to both children, a few will be different. For example, one child is old enough to be able to go to the shop on his own; or stay out for a longer time; or watch a particular program on TV.Give the older child the space he requires. Younger siblings love to hang out with the older ones to the point where they can become a nuisance by hanging around, interfering, using their things as if it’s their right to do so.A common practice is to insist that the older child must take their sibling to all outings with his friends. This is unfair and only leaves the older child feeling angry and resentful.Many parents have the tendency to ignore or be lenient with the younger child because she is “still small”. The older child is often blamed or held responsible for the younger child’s behavior. It is the responsibility of the parents to correct and discipline a small child’s misbehavior.

Q: How to handle smart kids?

Dear Parent,The ‘smart’ child of today is characterized by the following:Is very aware – makes him feel knowledgeable – speak to him at that levelSeeks new experiences – is curious and adventurous – give him freedom within limitsSeeks new opportunities – wants to experience success – allow him to try new thingsWants to be heard – expects your attention – listen to him with genuine interestForms opinions – tests his thinking skills – guide him on how to not pass judgmentsExpects to be respected - builds his self-worth – be fair and use respectful languageDo remember that all children may not be ‘smart’ in all ways. Focus your attention on your child’s strengths and be aware of his limitations. This will help you have reasonable and fair expectations of him.

Question 1

My son is 8 years old and is highly addicted to playing games, watching videos on YouTube, which is affecting his academics and he keeps thinking about cartoons, etc all the time. It has become uncontrollable.

Accepted Answer

Dear Parent,&#xA0;Your worry has prompted you to seek help, which is such a good thing to do, especially when you see how your son&#x2019;s life is being affected. Lost in a virtual world means that he is disconnected from the real world. It&#x2019;s going to be hard for you to draw him out of this addiction on your own.&#xA0;May I suggest that you consult a counselor experienced in working with gadget addiction? If you need references, we will be happy to help.&#xA0;

Question 2

How do we know how much our kid is capable of?

Accepted Answer

Dear Parent,This is a very important area of child development. It&#x2019;s not so much about how much a child is capable of, rather it is about what he can become capable of. A child&#x2019;s abilities emerge through opportunities to be curious, explore, observe and learn. The early childhood years are spent learning many new things &#x2013; how things work, the &#x2018;why&#x2019; of things, trying out different activities. All these experiences get recorded in the child&#x2019;s brain. Lots of free play has many benefits, such as developing imagination and creativity.A child&#x2019;s abilities are not fixed. They can grow and develop, depending on how parents and other adults encourage them. Learning is a very dynamic process that allows a child to experiment and learn from his mistakes. This is a very crucial experience where parents must help their child to keep trying despite the mistakes. Else the child gives up, stops trying, gets blocked, and refuses to continue doing the activity. In middle childhood, a child likes to try out many new skills &#x2013; allow him to do so with the minimum amount of money investment. Invest only when he is quite sure that he would like to continue learning the activity. It is only in later teen years that they become very focused on certain abilities and decide to pursue them. Till then, encourage and guide your child, give opportunities and help him learn from mistakes and failures.&#xA0;

Question 3

How to manage the behavioral changes, when there is an age gap between two kids?

Accepted Answer

Dear Parent,&#xA0;While there are some advantages of having an age gap between two children, you will be required to manage their behavior according to their age. Here are a few tips:Children go through different phases of development broadly divided into infancy, childhood, and teens. In each phase, a child has specific needs and abilities.Usually it&#x2019;s the younger child who wants to imitate the older child and do things she is not ready for. Sometimes the older child comes down to the level of and behaves like the younger one. Some of these behaviors might seem inappropriate.Be clear about your expectations of each child and enforce the rules accordingly. While some rules apply to both children, a few will be different. For example, one child is old enough to be able to go to the shop on his own; or stay out for a longer time; or watch a particular program on TV.Give the older child the space he requires. Younger siblings love to hang out with the older ones to the point where they can become a nuisance by hanging around, interfering, using their things as if it&#x2019;s their right to do so.A common practice is to insist that the older child must take their sibling to all outings with his friends. This is unfair and only leaves the older child feeling angry and resentful.Many parents have the tendency to ignore or be lenient with the younger child because she is &#x201C;still small&#x201D;. The older child is often blamed or held responsible for the younger child&#x2019;s behavior. It is the responsibility of the parents to correct and discipline a small child&#x2019;s misbehavior.

Question 4

As working parents, we get less time with our child. We want to spend quality time but my 3.5-year-old kid is cranky and crying for minor things. We love her, but how do we handle her?

Accepted Answer

Dear Parent,&#xA0;Having a full-time job and running a home is quite a challenge, especially when it comes to spending time with your child. Difficult as it may seem, you can still do it well by following these tips:Reconnect with your child. As soon as you get back home, tired as you may be, your child is waiting for your attention. So make eye contact, smile warmly, greet and hug her. She needs to know how happy you are to see her again after the long day. This immediate connection makes her feel happy, safe, and loved. Spend a few minutes fussing over each other. But if you&#x2019;re feeling very tired, tell her that you will rest for a few minutes and invite her to sit along with you. Her cranky and crying behaviors mean that she needs you to comfort her. These behaviors are likely to reduce when you continue the practice of reconnecting with her every day.Spend quality time. 10 to 15 minutes a day is all you need. Play a little game, have fun chatting, singing, spending time together in the kitchen (tell her she is your chief assistant, let her help you by handing things to you, bringing things for you. Or let her help you fold clothes, put things away. Just remember to make it feel like a whole lot of fun. Little children love to do things that make them feel important and independent. It builds their self-confidence.Have bedtime routines. Read or tell her a short story, or just chat about the day. Get her ready for bed with little songs and games that help take away the stress of following the go-to-bed routines.Spending time together in these and many other little ways helps you build a deep connection with your child. You don&#x2019;t need to spend hours with her. A few minutes of your complete attention listening to her questions, stories, enjoying her company, laughing and giggling together &#x2013; that&#x2019;s all it takes. Filled with your complete presence, she feels emotionally safe and secure and trusts you. She knows that she can always rely on you to comfort her and help her when she needs it. You could spend extra time with her over the weekends too. &#xA0;

Question 5

How to handle smart kids?

Accepted Answer

Dear Parent,The &#x2018;smart&#x2019; child of today is characterized by the following:Is very aware &#x2013; makes him feel knowledgeable &#x2013; speak to him at that levelSeeks new experiences &#x2013; is curious and adventurous &#x2013; give him freedom within limitsSeeks new opportunities &#x2013; wants to experience success &#x2013; allow him to try new thingsWants to be heard &#x2013; expects your attention &#x2013; listen to him with genuine interestForms opinions &#x2013; tests his thinking skills &#x2013; guide him on how to not pass judgmentsExpects to be respected - builds his self-worth &#x2013; be fair and use respectful languageDo remember that all children may not be &#x2018;smart&#x2019; in all ways. Focus your attention on your child&#x2019;s strengths and be aware of his limitations. This will help you have reasonable and fair expectations of him.

Ask the Expert - FAQs

Parenting

My son is 8 years old and is highly addicted to playing games, watching videos on YouTube, which is affecting his academics and he keeps thinking about cartoons, etc all the time. It has become uncontrollable.

Parenting

How do we know how much our kid is capable of?

Parenting

How to manage the behavioral changes, when there is an age gap between two kids?

Parenting

As working parents, we get less time with our child. We want to spend quality time but my 3.5-year-old kid is cranky and crying for minor things. We love her, but how do we handle her?

Parenting

How to handle smart kids?

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