Expert Insights on Developmental Milestones and Delays: Answers to Parent Queries

My child is 3. She's still not comfortable using the potty and wants to wear a diaper all the time. What should I do? 

 Ashwini, Mumbai

This is the right time for you to start potty training your child. You can take her off diapers for a short duration (30 minutes to one hour) initially. If you're able to determine roughly when she needs to use the toilet, you can take her there and try making her sit on a baby toilet seat with a footrest. Reward her even if she just walks with you to the toilet and tries to sit for two minutes. As you practice this daily, increase the diaper-free period gradually, and soon, she'll be off diapers and on her way to being toilet-trained.

My 2-year-old son doesn't talk much. He says just a handful of words and prefers using gestures to communicate. Is this normal? 

 Prakash, Secunderabad

At 2 years, a child may be able to say anywhere between 15 and 50 words or even more, and some children may speak in simple sentences.

We need to look at the following things to be reassured that your child is on the right track.

a. Is he responding to name calls?

b. Does he make eye contact when you talk or play with him?

c. Is he able to understand simple instructions and obey some of them?

d. Does he interact well with everyone at home?

If there's any concern in the above areas, you need to consult your pediatrician or a developmental pediatrician for further evaluation. If there are no such concerns, you can improve your child's language and communication skills by talking to him and responding to his words. As they say, it takes two to talk.

My 18-month-old hasn't started walking yet. He holds things and stands. Shouldn't he have started walking by now?

 Vani, Bengaluru

Yes, most children start walking by 18 months. But if your baby was born prematurely or had a low birth weight, we can give an allowance of two to three months for him to catch up. If there's any obvious difference in your child's legs (like you feel they are very weak or floppy or stiff) or any obvious physical deformity, then it's better to consult your pediatrician who will check for any neurological abnormalities and may recommend physiotherapy. Also, give your child more opportunities to walk with support. Consider getting him a push-type baby walker to encourage him to walk independently.

My daughter is 5 and I am still spoon-feeding her all her meals. At best, she helps herself to some snacks. She doesn't show much interest in self-feeding. When I insist, she ends up making a very big mess and eats much less than what she has when I feed her. I see other kids her age eating comfortably on their own. How should I handle this? 

 Yashwanthi, Noida

This is very common in her age group. It will just take a lot of patience from your end to try and establish a feeding routine. In the initial stages, encourage your daughter to have the first few or the last few spoons on her own, and for the remaining meal, you can feed her as usual. Gradually, give her constant praise and small rewards to make her feel proud that she's eating all by herself.

You can make it more interesting by asking her to pretend that she and her doll are competing to see who finishes their meal first. Eating as a family may help. When she observes others eating on their own, she'll try to be more responsible like them. Providing a variety of foods in attractive serving plates, cups and spoons may also help.

My child is 4.5. He doesn't enjoy interacting with other kids his age. At school, he keeps to himself. During this pandemic, he has been very comfortable at home, and he prefers to play alone. He makes eye contact while talking and he does respond clearly when we ask him specific questions, but doesn't talk much otherwise. Should I be concerned?

 Prasanna, Madurai

The pandemic situation has been quite challenging for adults and kids alike. Some children may be shy and may need more time to interact with new people, including their peer groups and adults.

Encourage your child to initially interact with one or two children of his age group. It could be a neighbor or a friend. Appreciate every attempt your child makes to interact with someone. Take care not to label your child as shy. Once the routines resume after the pandemic, the opportunities for interaction will improve and your child will get the stimulating environment of school, after which you can reassess his social interaction skills and proceed accordingly.

My 4-year-old son doesn't show any interest in writing. He knows the alphabet and numbers, but when I ask him to write them, he makes a big fuss. When do children start to write properly? 

 Raghav, Chennai

Children normally start writing anytime between 4 and 6 years of age. So try to introduce writing in a fun manner. First, you can work on his prewriting skills like drawing shapes and patterns. Then, get him to do activities such as rolling playdough, lacing and solving jigsaw puzzles. You can encourage him to try more activities to help develop his fine motor skills. Encourage him to experience writing on different surfaces in addition to paper. For example, slate, sand, shaving foam, or even on his hands, or just in the air for fun. And don't forget to shower him with praise when he makes an attempt to write.

Try all these methods for three to six months and if you still find no progress, then you need to check for issues such as hand-eye coordination, poor muscle strength, or a learning difficulty.

Dr. Anuradha Srinivasan is an accomplished developmental pediatrician and oversees the child development and anticipatory guidance clinic at Dr. Mehta's Multispecialty Hospital in Chennai.

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