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Ruchi Aggarwal Jan 20, 2021
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Rajamani Revauthi Aug 12, 2019
We must have all heard this report in the recent past.A 7th std boy set himself on fire as his father refused to give him money to watch movie in the theatre.Today, I was just fiddling with old newspapers and came across this news.
It's was a thunder down the spine and i was taken aghast. I'm still shivering and sweating, this little boy committed a suicide for this reason. But why? Where is the mistake? Why was he so adamant? I was wondering why is our younger generation hastily taking decisions, why are they wreckless, why can't they handle a simple NO. So, who should be blamed here.
So, here comes the question. All of us have struggled in life at one point or the other. Hope everyone agrees with me. When we were in our childhood, there was no strong social media influences, not much of mobile phones, we had fun filled laughter's with our friends, our parents would work hard to fulfil our needs.
One thing I remember vividly about my childhood is my reluctance to go to school, Every day I would make some new excuse to stay away. My mom would come and spank me only then i run after the bus to reach school. Where is all this innocence gone in today's generation.
Adamancy, Tantrums , kids cry their lungs out if they are not given what they want. We all as parents make n number of efforts to make both ends meet to fulfill their needs, but they are cranky about their wants. People say it's exposure to the vast environment and opportunities, the peer pressure, the want in kids to prove they are better in status than the other. Yes, I'm sorry to say this, there is one more reason to it, PARENTS.
I have seen a few parents saying my son or daughter is like his/her father or he or she is like her/his mother, they eventually make attempts to get what they want. Is this something to be taken pride of. I would just say NO. A BIG NO. The problem is here where parents don't say no to their kids. Let them hear no right from their childhood.
When they are making tantrums
*Ignore, they may cry louder. But eventually will settle down. Being a mother i know we feel desperate and pathetic to see our kids suffer but let me tell you ,you are doing it for their good and a bright future.
*You can explain the consequences of why it is not your child's cup of tea. Relax, don't loose your patience you may have to repeat it a lot of times .
*Be consistent, make the No sound like No everytime, let the people around the house be informed they must also deny and not add fuel to the fire. Otherwise it may blaze later and spoil the kid.
*Be honest, don't give reasons or lie to them ,saying let me try next time. Instead explain them why they don't need it.
*Finally, appreciate if they are being patient, or if you see a changed in the behavior. This goes a long way, the process takes time but believe me mothers can do anything under the sun, motivation, patience, and consistence is more important.
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Kudos for wanting to help your child become more expressive! Your child seems to be an introvert, which means he might be more internally focused, i.e., instead of seeking stimulation outside, he focuses more on his thoughts, feelings, and mood. Being introverted is perfectly alright, and is a part of a child's temperament, which means it cannot be changed. However, you can definitely take some steps in helping your child express himself more:
Talk regularly with your child. To draw your child in, it is a good idea to have ongoing & regular conversations with him. Chat during ad breaks about your favourite parts of the TV show, during dinner about the best part of your day, during car rides about his favourite activities, and during meal preparation about the steps involved. Model phrases, introduce new words, and discuss new concepts.
Role-play conversations. Take some common situations your child faces daily and role-play conversations with him, say at the lunch hour, in the playground, or at an activity class. Take turns pretending to be each person in the conversation, so that you can help your child practice different responses.
Read together. Reading is considered to be one of the best joint activities to do with your child because not only does it increase his vocabulary, it also helps develop an understanding of characters and plot. Through books, you could discuss various situations with your child, such as what do you think would have happened if Jack had not returned to the giants castle?
Have him voice his opinions and choices. Give your child the space to make choices on a daily basis. Ask him why he made a particular choice. Encourage him to use I statements, such as I feel, I think, etc.
Encourage journaling. Journaling is a very effective way of expressing ones thoughts and feelings. Encourage your child to journal his day-to-day activities, which will ultimately help him feel more prepared when talking about his day or his views.
All the best!
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Read now: https://www.parentcircle.com/article/why-is-your-9yearold-behaving-like-a-teenager/
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Sarada Dudheria Dec 13, 2018
Roopa M Dec 13, 2018
@Sarada Dudheria
Have patience and to change his overall nature, try to adopt different ideas.
Don't know if it will make sense but when we were kids, in our times, we were less exposed to kids' Tv serials, there were no phones or video games. Some of these Children's programs are so noisy and the games are so exciting that they affect children's mood. Try to avoid these.
They also don't teach anything much and don't add value to a child's growth.
We were also told lot of stories by grandmas and other elders which shaped our thinking process and behavior to some extent. When he is calm, try to narrate stories from our mythology or stories that have excellent morals. Use bed time or feeding time to engage with him and tell him a couple of stories about Ram,Shravan kumar and many other characters that have set a standard. Avoid negative environment and encourage him to make good friends. He also needs good role models. If he admires somebody(a star or any favorite person), whenever he is about to throw a tantrum, make sure you tell him that that's now how that person would react in a situation like this.
Sometimes you need to discuss serious issues like this with a doctor in case you are not able to handle him at all. They might help you with counselling and help him develop empathy and sympathy for others.
Mother is the best Counselor to a child they say. Have confidence in yourself. Ultimately you are the closest person to the child and have a lot of influence on him. Hope things get better and he becomes a role model to others. Good luck.
Team ParentCircle Dec 3, 2018
Set a routine for teaching discipline and good behaviour in Children:
Children may not have a sense of time; but, they love routine. A set pattern gives them a sense of security. So, go ahead and structure your childs schedule such that it looks exciting to him. It can be a 'pizza-night' on Fridays, 'DaddySon' evenings on Saturdays, and so on.
While planning the routine, make it clear to your child that certain things like bedtime and wake-up times or study schedules are non-negotiable. But show a little flexibility in areas like allowing him an extended hour of play on some days.
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