Answered by Team ParentCircle
With a multitude of career options available, choosing a dream job can seem pretty daunting. Let's take a look at how you can help your child make the right choice.
Some children figure out what they want to do early on. But for others, it’s not that simple—they’re unsure about what path to take, and their career ideas keep changing, leaving them more confused than ever.
And that can be worrying for parents! How can I help my child decide their subject choices and career? What if my child chooses a career path that is not well-paying or has no scope for the future? Should parents allow their children to make independent decisions? These are common concerns of parents. Arundhati Swamy, Counselor and Head of Parent Engagement Programs at ParentCircle, answers some of your queries.
| We are a family of chartered accountants with our successful firm. My son (Class XII) showed interest in the field, and that's why he opted for the commerce stream in Class XI. But now he wants to study journalism. He does write well, but I feel he is very capable of doing CA. I really want him to pursue CA so that he can take over our firm in the future. He can keep writing as a hobby. Honestly, I am quite upset. I don't know how to make him understand. — Raja, Bengaluru |
| I would like my daughter (Class Xl) to pursue whatever she likes—art, writing, music... anything! She's quite good at these things. But she seems to be influenced by her peers and wants to study engineering. It is not as if she is passionate about engineering; I feel she just wants to do it because she doesn't want to be the odd one out in her group. I really do not want her to waste four years studying something she doesn't truly enjoy. How do I help her understand? —Malini, Chennai |
| My daughter (Class XII) keeps changing her interests. She wanted to study economics, but then she said she wanted to study psychology. And now she wants to explore visual communication. She comes up with a new idea every other month! I have given up and have asked her to do whatever she wants. But I can't help worrying. How do I guide her? — Ashutosh, Delhi |
Q1: “My son wants to shift from commerce to journalism. I’m upset and confused.” — Raja, Bengaluru
Raja, your words seem to echo the sentiments of scores of parents. Parents' aspirations for their children are often deeply rooted in family culture, values, and socioeconomic status. Quite naturally, you want to give your son a head start in life. Your aspirations for him appeared to be falling into place when he chose to study commerce in high school. This first step toward becoming a chartered accountant must have pleased you very much. And then the unexpected happened! Journalism appeared out of nowhere to compete with your dreams. Quite baffling, isn't it? So, what could have changed your son's mind?
Perhaps an understanding of the social, emotional, and cognitive development in teens could offer clues to the dramatic change in your son's thinking.
During the middle adolescence phase, teens typically turn more toward their peers to engage in deep conversations and explore new possibilities. They are confused, unsure, and their minds change often. They thrill over discoveries and feel passionate about things that begin to matter to them. With newfound curiosity and the courage to step away from the familiar, teens like to question the status quo and imagine new possibilities that are quite different from what parents may have envisioned for them. That's how the idea of a career in journalism may have unfolded in your son's mind. In the days ahead, he may explore many more career options. Hard as it may be for you to resist, your efforts to change his mind may lead to conflict and confusion. Instead, here are two things that could help you work things out together:
It's normal for you to feel upset and disturbed by the new development in your son's career plans. Instead of fending off your feelings, try saying to yourself, "I am so upset (or angry or disappointed) about what is happening. It's okay for me to feel this way." Say it several times until you notice the intensity of your feelings beginning to subside. Wait until you feel calm and in control before you take the next step.
No matter what your initial reactions were to your son, try saying to him, "This new interest in journalism seems to be important to you, so tell me more about it." A genuine inquiry and a neutral stance will eliminate biases. Listen to your son's explanations and do your best to understand his thoughts and ideas. You may also suggest that he gather more details about journalism, the tasks it involves, and the upsides and downsides of the profession. Ask your son to write down the pros and cons of each career. Children tend to get carried away by what they see on the surface, but would they enjoy performing the tasks involved in a particular career? In-depth knowledge could help your son make an informed choice.
Also, have many discussions on all the information your son shares with you, taking care to appreciate his efforts. "I see how much effort you are putting into this." Appreciation is always reassuring and supportive. With his fears about you out of the way, your son will value the broader perspectives you share from experience and will put a lot more thought into his decision. These deep interactions will strengthen your relationship with your son. Strong bonds will buffer the impact of disappointments that may arise from the choices he makes, and they will also help you respect and support your son's choices. Consider consulting a career counselor if the conflict persists despite all your efforts. We hope things work out well for both of you!
Q2: “My daughter wants engineering because of peer pressure, not passion.” — Malini, Chennai
Malini, you must be dismayed by your daughter's situation. To think that she would make such an important decision based solely on her friend's interests is indeed worrisome. But your daughter is not the only one. There are many youngsters like her out there. Let's work together to resolve this issue.
Two things stand out in your query:
Try to recall the entire experience and look for insights. Do you think she was influenced by her friends back then? Were there discussions and conflicts over her decision?
Next, it's time to free the emotional clutter in your head.
If your daughter is still keen on pursuing a career in engineering, would you give her a fair chance?
Who knows, she may choose a creative field or something entirely new. We wish you and your daughter all the best!
Q3: “My daughter keeps changing career ideas every month.” — Ashutosh, Delhi
Ashutosh, stressful, isn't it? You feel your daughter just can't seem to make up her mind, and that leaves you feeling quite helpless. But cheer up! There could be a lot of good going on in her mind.
Looking at the flip side of her frequent indecisions, your daughter may be exploring various options. Which means that she is alert and busy discovering new avenues. Sure, you are at your wits' end right now, giving up on her, not because you don't care, but because you just feel so stuck. Perhaps a different approach could help you play a more supportive role as a father. Are you ready? Here you go:
Become your daughter's ally because right now, she probably feels alone and confused. Say to her, "I know I haven't been helpful of late. But now I have an idea. How about we work this out together as a team? We can learn so much together."
Show your daughter how to gain maximum benefit from all her experiences and discoveries. Ask her to write down all the things she finds interesting in economics, psychology, visual communication, and any other fields she may add to her list. A few common themes will emerge. This exercise can lead to a journey of self-discovery with new insights. Help your daughter match the common themes with possible careers.
Continue to have conversations about all the new information she collects. Help her gain new perspectives, widen her knowledge, and deepen her understanding of the world of work. With your support, she is more likely to make an informed decision.
There's one more possible explanation for your daughter's attraction to multiple careers. She could be one of those children who have a broad range of abilities and is trying hard to see which career might accommodate them all. She may benefit from talking to a career counselor. We hope your daughter finds a fulfilling career in the future!
While parents agonize over their children's career choices, a new trend is sweeping over our youth. Today, many of them are trying to discover their life purpose and want to do work that makes a difference in people's lives. These young people are bent on creating their unique career paths, shunning the conventional for the extraordinary.
Last updated on: November 21, 2025
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