Answered by Team ParentCircle
Q. I have two kids, a middle schooler and a high schooler. Their exams are coming up. I get so stressed during this time. I can cope with most other things, but exam time stresses me out. How can I make the stress go away?
– Mamta, Pune
Mamta, we hear you. Parent exam stress is so annoying, isn’t it? It does strange things to us. We become people we don’t recognize anymore, at least as long as the exams last. Then we become our usual selves again. Why does this exam stress even happen to us? How we wish it would just go away. Wouldn’t that be nice? Ah, wishful thinking. No harm in that, but mere wishes don’t make the stress disappear. Parental exam stress is real and normal, even in otherwise capable parents.
So, what is it about exams that turns parents into a bundle of nerves? We asked parents about parental exam stress. Here’s what they shared with us:
Parents worry that their kids are:
Mamta, you may want to stop here for a moment and add your own experiences to this list.
Parents feel the external pressures that add to exam stress:
Again, you may want to add to this list. Surely, parents will resonate with these woes. Good to know we’re all in the same boat!
Here are some common ways parents cope consciously or unconsciously:
Overeating
This topped the list as the most common effect of parental exam stress. Apparently, the pleasurable sensations of food help overcome the stressful thoughts. If overeating bothers you, try not to fix it during exam time because another unhealthy stress-busting idea will replace it. For several parents, overeating may be a temporary phase, as they have the capacity to regain control once the exams are over. If overeating works for you, so be it! More importantly, make sure you don’t let it become another issue to deal with.
Seeking solace through prayer and meditation
It’s not unusual to become more prayerful during exams. But a prayer without active self-help is like sitting back and waiting for the gods to perform miracles. Prayers give us hope, something to hang on to while our minds battle subconsciously with the worries. So, by all means, practice prayer and meditation. Spiritual routines and rituals can be powerful stress-busters provided you believe in what you’re doing.
Hanging on to comforting experiences
This could be reading or writing, or any other routine pastime. These are our go-to places of comfort and welcome. The familiarity of daily routines makes the day feel normal, predictable, and in control. Indulging in a much-loved hobby can be cathartic and deeply satisfying. Neutralize the stress with simple things like a warm bath, music, art, and humor. They’re known to give a natural boost to feel-good hormones.
Keeping mum or practicing silence
There seems to be some wisdom here, as long as it does not turn into a cold war where your child misinterprets the silence to be a sign of disconnection, negligence, or avoidance. Prolonged silence is difficult to break and leads to a dangerous breakdown in communication. If keeping silent in the moment is a precious pause that allows you to collect your thoughts and calm your emotions, go for it.
Being overnice to the kids
Smothering them with all kinds of “goodness,” such as being extra sweet, more tolerant, less firm, pampering, and affectionate at every turn. Imagine what this sudden outburst of niceness could look like to a child. Confusing and overwhelming, for sure. Sudden dramatic changes throw them off-balance. Instead, stick to being the person you are. All your child wants is the parent they’ve always known you to be, the person they’ve learned to accept and love, no matter what.
Going into overdrive by putting your life on hold
Come the exams, and your world begins to center around your child. You try hard to make the environment quiet, you nip every disturbance in the bud, speak in hushed tones, give up all outings and entertainment, and filter your child’s phone calls. Again, a strange environment that robs your child of the comforts of familiarity and routine in their life. Instead, a mild toning down of things in the home is probably what your child needs to help them stay focused on their studies.
Stress also manifests in other common changes, such as altered food and sleep patterns, weight issues, raw nerves, and worryisome thoughts, to name a few. Excessive worry has negative consequences on our health, physically and emotionally. From there onward, most things feel stressful.
So, Mamta, what does stress look like in you? Recognizing the causes of your stress and finding ways to cope are key to managing it. We can never make stress disappear. But we can endure it. Here are some tips:
Instead, you can now try to break this inhibiting cycle of personal expectations by building more realistic expectations based upon your child’s abilities. Then feel the stress in you dissipate.
Instead, having realistic expectations of your child’s academic potential can put you in a more peaceful place of self-acceptance and bring out the supportive and encouraging side in you.
All said and done, parental exam stress is normal, given the societal and aspirational pressures on students and parents. We just need to recognize when stress is disrupting our relationships and our well-being, and take the steps to cope with it.
Mamta, we do hope you will find suitable ways to de-stress and the emotional strength and confidence to endure the stress of your children’s exams. All the best!
Marks don’t define my child
Routines over panic
Support, not pressure
Less comparison, more trust
I pause and breathe too
You don’t need to be perfect. Just be present.
Also Read:
Last updated on: January 13, 2026
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