Q: How do you teach kids without giving them punishments?

Dear Parent, We need to prepare our children to face a future that does not exist today. We need to nurture joy for learning. So, our goal must be to inculcate a love of learning in our children. If the child begins to associate learning with punishment, she will not enjoy learning. Punishments can make a child fearful. Constant fear leads to chronic stress that releases the cortisol chemical in the brain. This can have long-term effects on memory and learning. So, we need to create an environment that is free of fear and one that fosters the joy of learning. How can you do that? Here are some tips:Read a lot to your child. Share in the joy of reading.If your child has to do homework regularly, together with your child make a daily schedule for studying.Create a special, comfortable space at home for your child to do homework, filled with all the necessary pencils, papers, erasers, colors, etc. Make sure she sits in the same place every day.Play a short fun game to relax her mind just before she sits to do her work.Avoid doing your child’s homework or project. Instead, support her by asking guiding questions - what she needs to do for homework, how she plans to do it, which areas she finds challenging and how she plans to handle it, are there any areas she needs additional help on. Fill in only where necessary. If she misses doing her homework, let her face the consequences with her teacher. She may not do well in her test if she did not prepare well for it. One poor test result will not hurt her. But, she will learn quickly that when she doesn't do her work she will have to face consequences she may not like. She will soon learn to be more responsible with her work.Supplement school work with fun learning tools and experiments. Watch learning videos together, do experiments, go outside and explore, visit museums, do hands-on crafts, and more… Learn together and grow together

Q: How can I help my child improve his knowledge of languages (especially spelling) and his memory?

Dear Parent, For a child to learn a language, the first step is to encourage listening. The next step is to teach the child to speak and communicate in that language. Reading, spelling, and writing will follow after that. So the best way to teach your child a language is to get your child to meet people who speak the language, watch movies and videos in that language, or listen to speeches and talks in that language. Fortunately, young children pick up languages easily.If you know the language, get your child to converse with you in that language. Else, create opportunities for your child to speak with others in that language. If she makes a mistake or says the wrong word, instead of trying to correct her or say she is wrong, you could say, “you mean….”, or repeat what she says correctly. She will learn. To encourage reading and spelling, read to your child daily. If your child can read, encourage her to read daily – anything she likes as long as she reads. To improve spelling you can play word games like Scrabble or taking a turn to say one letter in a word to complete the word. Write out words, give your child letters to fill the word, and so on. Make learning fun and not a chore!Memorizing poems, songs, and even slokas, or playing memory games can help strengthen your child’s memory.

Q: I want to homeschool my 10-year-old. Please help me

Dear Parent, Homeschooling is a growing trend in India. Here’s a link that can help you get started on the concept of homeschooling.For further details, you can also go through the website of the National Institute of Open-Schooling. You need to be well informed and fully equipped to design your child’s curriculum - what, when, and how you want to schedule your child’s education plan. Homeschooling requires total commitment and involvement of one or both parents. Talk to your child about your plan to have him homeschooled. He must be part of the decision-making process because he is old enough to express his thoughts, doubts, concerns, preferences, and apprehensions. Network with other families who follow homeschooling to understand how it works, where to get support. Meet with the parents and children to get first-hand information and a clear understanding. This will help you get clarity on your choice of homeschooling.Because homeschooling is still nascent in India, be well informed before you and your child make a decision.

Q: My daughter is 14 years old and very good at academics. However, despite working hard to improve her Math, she is not getting good results. How can I help my child?

Dear Parent, It must be quite discouraging to see your daughter not doing well in maths even after putting in so much effort. In much of what our children (and we) do, we are motivated by the outcomes or the results. However, research shows that it is the focus on effort (and not the result) that really keeps us motivated. This focus on hard work and effort (called the growth mindset) in fact leads to increased motivation and achievement. In order to be able to inculcate this growth mindset in your daughter, try to praise her efforts and her hard work, telling her that’s what is in her control. The marks are never in her control. In fact, when hard work and effort are praised, your child is more likely to take on challenges and keep trying. Teach your daughter to accept her mistakes as learning opportunities, instead of seeing them as loss of marks. When she does well, instead of saying “You’re so smart” or “That was tough - so glad you don’t have to do it again”, say things like “I can see you worked so hard on this” and “That was really hard. Your effort has paid off. Next time you’ll be ready for this kind of challenge!” Tell your child that when she takes up challenges, her brain grows, forming new connections that enable learning —knowing that her brain physically changes in proportion to her efforts is extremely motivating for your child. I am not sure what you mean by ‘favorable results’ but having realistic expectations of your child based on her abilities is important. While we would love that our children excel in all subjects, the truth is that they may have the lesser ability in some subjects. Help your child do the best she can in Maths, even though her best may not match up to your expectations.

Question 1

How do you teach kids without giving them punishments?

Accepted Answer

Dear Parent,&#xA0;We need to prepare our children to face a future that does not exist today. We need to nurture joy for learning. So, our goal must be to inculcate a love of learning in our children. If the child begins to associate learning with punishment, she will not enjoy learning. Punishments can make a child fearful. Constant fear leads to chronic stress that releases the cortisol chemical in the brain. This can have long-term effects on memory and learning. &#xA0;So, we need to create an environment that is free of fear and one that fosters the joy of learning. How can you do that? Here are some tips:Read a lot to your child. Share in the joy of reading.If your child has to do homework regularly, together with your child make a daily schedule for studying.Create a special, comfortable space at home for your child to do homework, filled with all the necessary pencils, papers, erasers, colors, etc. Make sure she sits in the same place every day.Play a short fun game to relax her mind just before she sits to do her work.Avoid doing your child&#x2019;s homework or project. Instead, support her by asking guiding questions - what she needs to do for homework, how she plans to do it, which areas she finds challenging and how she plans to handle it, are there any areas she needs additional help on. Fill in only where necessary.&#xA0; If she misses doing her homework, let her face the consequences with her teacher. She may not do well in her test if she did not prepare well for it. One poor test result will not hurt her. But, she will learn quickly that when she doesn&#x27;t do her work she will have to face consequences she may not like. She will soon learn to be more responsible with her work.Supplement school work with fun learning tools and experiments. Watch learning videos together, do experiments, go outside and explore, visit museums, do hands-on crafts, and more&#x2026; Learn together and grow together

Question 2

How can I help my child improve his knowledge of languages (especially spelling) and his memory?

Accepted Answer

Dear Parent,&#xA0;For a child to learn a language, the first step is to encourage listening. The next step is to teach the child to speak and communicate in that language. Reading, spelling, and writing will follow after that. So the best way to teach your child a language is to get your child to meet people who speak the language, watch movies and videos in that language, or listen to speeches and talks in that language. Fortunately, young children pick up languages easily.If you know the language, get your child to converse with you in that language. Else, create opportunities for your child to speak with others in that language. If she makes a mistake or says the wrong word, instead of trying to correct her or say she is wrong, you could say, &#x201C;you mean&#x2026;.&#x201D;, or repeat what she says correctly. She will learn.&#xA0;To encourage reading and spelling, read to your child daily. If your child can read, encourage her to read daily &#x2013; anything she likes as long as she reads. To improve spelling you can play word games like Scrabble or taking a turn to say one letter in a word to complete the word. Write out words, give your child letters to fill the word, and so on. Make learning fun and not a chore!Memorizing poems, songs, and even slokas, or playing memory games can help strengthen your child&#x2019;s memory.

Question 3

I want to homeschool my 10-year-old. Please help me

Accepted Answer

Dear Parent,&#xA0;Homeschooling is a growing trend in India. Here&#x2019;s a link that can help you get started on the concept of homeschooling.For further details, you can also go through the website of the National Institute of Open-Schooling. You need to be well informed and fully equipped to design your child&#x2019;s curriculum - what, when, and how you want to schedule your child&#x2019;s education plan.&#xA0;Homeschooling requires total commitment and involvement of one or both parents.&#xA0;Talk to your child about your plan to have him homeschooled. He must be part of the decision-making process because he is old enough to express his thoughts, doubts, concerns, preferences, and apprehensions.&#xA0;Network with other families who follow homeschooling to understand how it works, where to get support. Meet with the parents and children to get first-hand information and a clear understanding. This will help you get clarity on your choice of homeschooling.Because homeschooling is still nascent in India, be well informed before you and your child make a decision.

Question 4

My son does not like to write and refuses to do the homework.  Should I force him to write the homework?

Accepted Answer

Dear Parent,&#xA0;I can understand your distress, because writing is such an important skill in school. Rather than force your child to write, understand that there is something about writing that does not make your child feel comfortable - difficulties in reading or in hand-eye and fine motor coordination. Or your child may have had unpleasant experiences such as scolding and punishments for not writing properly. So he could be associating writing activities with stress and fear.Reading skills are the foundation upon which writing skills are built. Make sure your child is able to identify all the alphabets without difficulty, and that his reading ability matches his age. Poor reading skills lead to poor writing skills.&#xA0;Do check whether his grip on the pencil is strong. It requires fine motor coordination skills. Pre-writing activities such as picking grains, threading beads, sand play, modeling clay can help your child improve finger strength and grip.&#xA0;Try playing a short fun game with him before getting him to do his writing work. The attention he gets from you in this informal setting helps him see you as a fun and relaxed person. Besides, a fun game will also relax you from the tension that builds up around your child&#x2019;s refusal to write. A relaxed state of mind helps you to be more encouraging, and your child more cooperative. It would be helpful to break up the writing task into smaller chunks, with small breaks in-between. Encourage your child&#x2019;s every effort to write. If his handwriting looks untidy, instead of scolding him, try saying, &#x201C;Oh this alphabet looks like it&#x2019;s dancing,&#x201D; or &#x201C; this one looks like it wants to fly.&#x201D; These statements bring fun into the task and release the tension in your child&#x2019;s finger muscles.In case your child continues to have problems with writing even after trying these tips, you could consider having him evaluated by a special educator who has had training in conducting academic assessments. The sooner your child receives help to overcome his difficulties, the easier it will be for all of you - your child, parents, and teachers.Please follow these links for more reading on fine motor skills development:&#xA0;The importance of pre-writing skillsThe benefits of sand playing for kids

Question 5

My daughter is 14 years old and very good at academics. However, despite working hard to improve her Math, she is not getting good results. How can I help my child?

Accepted Answer

Dear Parent,&#xA0;It must be quite discouraging to see your daughter not doing well in maths even after putting in so much effort. In much of what our children (and we) do, we are motivated by the outcomes or the results. However, research shows that it is the focus on effort (and not the result) that really keeps us motivated. This focus on hard work and effort (called the growth mindset) in fact leads to increased motivation and achievement. In order to be able to inculcate this growth mindset in your daughter, try to praise her efforts and her hard work, telling her that&#x2019;s what is in her control. The marks are never in her control. In fact, when hard work and effort are praised, your child is more likely to take on challenges and keep trying. Teach your daughter to accept her mistakes as learning opportunities, instead of seeing them as loss of marks. When she does well, instead of saying &#x201C;You&#x2019;re so smart&#x201D; or &#x201C;That was tough - so glad you don&#x2019;t have to do it again&#x201D;, say things like &#x201C;I can see you worked so hard on this&#x201D; and &#x201C;That was really hard. Your effort has paid off. Next time you&#x2019;ll be ready for this kind of challenge!&#x201D; Tell your child that when she takes up challenges, her brain grows, forming new connections that enable learning &#x2014;knowing that her brain physically changes in proportion to her efforts is extremely motivating for your child. &#xA0;I am not sure what you mean by &#x2018;favorable results&#x2019; but having realistic expectations of your child based on her abilities is important. While we would love that our children excel in all subjects, the truth is that they may have the lesser ability in some subjects. Help your child do the best she can in Maths, even though her best may not match up to your expectations.

Learning FAQs

Learning

How do you teach kids without giving them punishments?

Learning

How can I help my child improve his knowledge of languages (especially spelling) and his memory?

Learning

I want to homeschool my 10-year-old. Please help me

Learning

My son does not like to write and refuses to do the homework. Should I force him to write the homework?

Learning

My daughter is 14 years old and very good at academics. However, despite working hard to improve her Math, she is not getting good results. How can I help my child?

Learning

Please help me to understand the importance of studies in life

Learning

How to make children enjoy studies?