Parenting

Is Your Child Quiet And Shy? Discover Ways To Embrace Their True Nature

Answered by Team ParentCircle

Dear Parent,

It’s possible that your child has not yet developed proper social skills, or that he is an introvert, or a shy child. Each of these requires a different approach.

Tips to build your child's social skills:

• Talk regularly with your child. To draw your child in, it's a good idea to have regular conversations with him. While watching a program on television, chat about your favorite parts of the TV show during the ad breaks. During dinner, talk about the best part of your day, during car rides, about his favorite activities, and during meal preparation, about the steps involved. Use common phrases he can learn to use in conversations with others.
• Have role-play conversations. Take some common situations your child faces daily and role-play conversations with him. For example, during lunch break at school, in the playground, or an activity class. Take turns pretending to be each person in the conversation, so that you can help him practice different responses.
• Improve vocabulary. Reading together is one of the best activities to do with your child because not only does it increase their vocabulary, but it also helps develop an understanding of characters and the plot. Through books, you could discuss various situations with your child, such as “What do you think would have happened if Arun had not asked Bala to play with him?”

Tips to build your child's confidence:

• Encourage choices and opinions. Give your child the space to make choices daily. Ask him why he made a particular choice. Encourage him to use I statements, such as “I feel...”, “I think...”, etc., as he explains his choices.
• Encourage journaling. Journaling is a very effective way to express one’s thoughts and feelings. Encourage your child to journal his day-to-day activities, which will ultimately help him feel more prepared when talking about his day or expressing his views.

If your child is an introvert, he will be more internally focused, i.e., instead of seeking stimulation outside, he focuses more on his thoughts, feelings, and mood. Being an introvert is perfectly alright and is a part of a child's natural temperament. Introverts feel drained in the company of large groups of people and feel energized when lost in their private world. They also tend to have some difficulties in communicating with other people, simply because they spend a lot of time by themselves. They do like to have friends, usually a few children who are more like him, who understand his need for personal space, and who share common interests. But your child will need to learn how to communicate with all kinds of people, so do help him learn a few important social skills. Here are a few tips:

• Have your child practice how to greet people and have conversations with them. He can withdraw after spending some time with them.
• Demonstrate how your son can interact with others and show interest in what they do and say.
• Encourage him to attend a few social functions. Allow him to find a quiet place to settle himself after he has had a few conversations with people.

Shy children are anxious about how people perceive them. Low self-esteem is a common cause - they feel others are better than them or that they are not good enough.

For more information on the shy child, introverts, and social skills, please click on these links:

Shy kids: How to develop social skills and confidence

Tips to raise an introverted child

How to help a shy child

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