Mom’s Life Balance: Bringing Motherhood And Fun Together For A Happy, Stress-Free Life

"I delivered my son on April 20, 2019. He unexpectedly arrived three weeks early. I had an important client call scheduled for April 22. I took the call, sitting on my bed at the hospital. I was strictly reprimanded by my doctor, who chose exactly that time to come and check on me. But I couldn't afford to skip that call. 35 families are dependent on me and my company for their livelihood," shares Vaishnavi Jayaraman, the director of EQuad Engineering Services, an industrial design company based in Chennai.

Vaishnavi got back to full-time work 35 days after childbirth. "My immediate family understood. My husband was super supportive. I had to be there to run my company; there was no choice," she says. "But it's been challenging. I get up at 5:30 a.m. every day so I can spend some time with my son before I get to work."

Despite having an extremely supportive family, it's been a bumpy ride for Vaishnavi, like it is for most working moms. And it's not easy for stay-at-home moms either. The amount of work they end up doing in a day is mind-boggling! This Women's Day, let's celebrate these amazing women and reflect on the challenges moms face and how they can start enjoying life more.

What society expects of girls and women

In his book The Triple Bind, noted psychologist Dr Stephen Hinshaw discusses the challenges that teenage girls face today. Girls are now expected to excel at girl skills, achieve boy goals, and be models of female perfection, 100 percent of the time, he writes.

True. We expect our girls to excel in their exams, excel in sports and extracurricular activities, look presentable, and behave nicely. We have the same expectations for women. They're expected to look good, do well in their careers, take care of the home and family, and be the perfect mom. While it's great that more women are joining the workforce, sadly, more men aren't entering the kitchen. And until that happens, it's going to be an unfair world for women.

Let's take a deeper look at some of the challenges moms face today.

Understanding the challenges of modern motherhood

Being a stay-at-home mom: Then and Now

Sowmya, a stay-at-home mom of two, says, "My grandmom was a homemaker, and I'm one too. But it's just not the same! When my grandmom stayed at home looking after her family, that was the norm. Every other mom around her was doing the same. But now, I see my friends working and achieving big things. It makes me feel so resentful. For various reasons (including the very hectic nature of my husband's job and lack of support from our family), I took a career break. I was a topper in school and college, and did well in my job, too. So, taking this decision wasn't easy. The amount of work I do from morning to night, I can't even begin to list! It would be nice if people refrained from making snide comments about how we're wasting our time and life sitting at home."

While stay-at-home moms slog all day entertaining their children, feeding, cooking, cleaning, and running the house, there are some disturbing things they often hear:

• X is managing a full-time job and two kids. With one kid, you should be able to work at least part-time.
• If you had known this was what you would be doing, you could have saved your college fees!
• How does it feel to be financially dependent on someone?

To all the wonderful homemakers out there, learn to ignore mean comments from people around you. Only you know what challenges and constraints you face. And here's a tip: Spend at least half an hour every day doing something you love. And remember, just because you don't work, it doesn't mean you have to run the house and take care of your child all alone.

Now, let's move on to the challenges that working moms face.

Balancing work and motherhood: Tips for working moms

Challenges at home

• Never-ending chores: A 2018 International Labour Organization report says women spend four times more time in unpaid care work than men. Along with professional work, it can become a little too much to handle.
• Nursing: While breast pumps are a godsend for working moms, pumping, sterilizing, and storing milk are not easy tasks. They're a lot more time-consuming than nursing directly.
• Emergencies: When the nanny calls up in the morning saying she can't come, or when the kids fall sick, it's mostly the mom who takes off from work. Aishwarya Ram, a mom of a 2-year-old, says, "I've gotten numerous calls from my child's nanny while at work. She would say my child is not feeling well and is crying continuously, asking for me. What choice did I have but to rush back home?"
• No downtime: After a busy day at work, you rush to your child and spend the evening with them. And on weekends, you want to compensate for your absence during the week, and you want to give the caregivers a break. So, you spend all your time with your child. As a result, there's no relaxation time or me-time. Says Vaishnavi. "When I want to go out with my friends (which happens very rarely), I need to check with everyone at home; it's a process. My family is helping me by taking care of my son when I work. But I can't expect them to do the same thing when I go out with friends. And I feel guilty too, leaving my son behind with my family when they probably need a break. My husband, on the other hand, goes to movies or games without thinking about all these things, and my family is totally fine with it. I'm fine with it too, but I wish I also had that freedom!"

Challenges at work

• Difficulty meeting tough deadlines: There are bound to be tough deadlines in every role now and then. But for a mother, these challenging deadlines can get extra challenging, especially when childcare is treated as their sole responsibility.
• Unfair pay: Multiple studies show that working moms earn less than they deserve. Some sociologists call it the motherhood wage penalty. Shraddha, a writing professional, shares, "I started to look for jobs when my son completed 2 years. There were a couple of companies that were very supportive and allowed flexible hours. But their pay was much below my expectations. In the end, I accepted one of the offers, though it was a step back in my career ladder because I just can't do without flexibility."
• Dealing with the incompetence perception: Moms face a lot of bias in the workplace. It's assumed that they will be preoccupied with personal challenges. So, they have to work extra hard to prove to their colleagues that they're indeed capable. Quite often, they're overlooked for important projects and promotions.

6 simple tips to balance motherhood and work

Yes, handling work and parenting can be overwhelming. But it's possible with a little planning and support. So, here are some tips to help you balance your family and career:

1. Be open with your organization: Let your boss know what your constraints are. Bargain for flexibility. If it's difficult for you to be in the office five days a week, be frank about it. You can also explore the option of working part-time to gauge the workload before you start working full-time.

2. Plan for the week: Spend time doing some prep work on weekends - for example, grocery shopping, cutting vegetables, preparing sauces, chutneys, and some snacks for your child, and planning the menu for the week. Make it a fun weekend family activity. Similarly, spend about 20 minutes on work nights preparing for the next day, like laying out the clothes to wear, packing your bag, and keeping the cooking vessels ready.

3. Cook in batches and keep it simple: Try to do minimal cooking on weekdays. How do you manage this? Well, cook reasonably large portions so that a dish lasts two days. This way, you don't have to make all the dishes every day. Also, rustle up easy meals during the week. You can also try OPOS (One Pot One Shot) cooking. Reserve those exotic dishes for the weekends.

For instance, I frequently have simple but nutrition-packed porridge for breakfast and curd rice and veggies for lunch. Sometimes, it does get boring, but it also saves me a lot of time!

4. Spend quality family time on weekends: Your child needs to spend time with you, connecting, playing, and laughing. Work days may be hectic, and it may not be possible to get enough quality family time. So, set aside at least one full day a week for your family.

Dr Meghna Singhal, a clinical psychologist and mom of two (aged 6.5 and 4), says, "I don't get to spend much time with my kids (especially my son) on work days. By the time I finish work, my kids are usually in bed. I feel quite guilty about it. But I make up for the lost time on weekends. Sundays are reserved for family fun. It's just the four of us on Sundays, my husband, daughter, son, and I. We play board games, watch movies, or bake together. We also prepare our Sunday lunch together. It's usually something special, burgers, noodles, or a Thai curry. It's a lot of fun!

5. Share work: This is easier said than done if your family doesn't voluntarily come forward. But more often than not, it's us women who are our enemies. We feel that taking care of our kids is primarily our responsibility, thanks to our social conditioning. Time for us to change. Understand this, it's NOT your sole duty to run the house. Be open about it and make it clear to your partner what chores you can do and what you would like him to take up.

6. Hire help if needed: If your extended family or partner is not available for help, don't hesitate to hire a nanny for your child from a trustworthy place. Many moms hesitate to do this because they worry that the nanny may not take good care of their child. But do your best to find a dependable nanny, install a camera, and give it a try. I had the same fear, but mustered courage and hired a caretaker when my daughter was 9 months old. I wasn't comfortable with her for various reasons, changed nannies a couple of times, and finally found the right one. Then it was smooth sailing!

Moms also hesitate to hire help for financial reasons. As a freelance writer, Priya, mom to a 2-year-old, had the same reservation. She says, "I am a freelance worker, which means I don't have a steady source of income, and I also don't earn much. I knew that hiring a nanny would mean spending whatever I earned on her. Even so, I went ahead because three to four years down the line, when my child becomes independent and I can start full-time work, I won't have too long a gap in my career. So, I've been working, not for the money, but for the experience and the satisfaction.

So, go ahead, try these tips, and notice the difference!

We hope you find our tips helpful. Don't compare yourself with your friend, mom, or grandmom. Remember, whatever you do, whether you work or remain at home, society is going to criticize and judge you. So, ignore those comments and do what you want. And don't forget to show some self-love! You're doing a great job. Happy Women's Day!

Struggling to find balance? Learn How To Maintain A Healthy Work-Life Balance today!

Last updated on October 8, 2025