Signs Of An Angry Child And How To Deal With Them: 5 Warning Behaviors Parents Must Know

Signs of an angry child and how to deal with them

Anger is an emotion that all of us experience when we feel hurt, pained, or wronged. Very young children tend to express anger in various ways, such as sulking, yelling, biting, and crying. But as children grow up, they learn to deal with their problems and manage their temper. Also, they grasp acceptable ways of expressing their anger.

However, some children are unable to keep their anger under control and often resort to unacceptable behaviours. So, when your eight-year-old curses and breaks his pencil in two because he isn't able to write neatly, it is a cause for worry and concern.

Key warning signs of an angry child

Here are five behavioural signs that may indicate that your child's anger isn't normal, and how you can deal with your angry child.

Tantrums in older children

It is usually toddlers and preschoolers who are associated with throwing tantrums. However, some older children also do so when frustrated. There can be several reasons why an older child behaves in this manner, and it usually relates to an unmet emotional or physical need.

How you can help your child: When it comes to managing tantrums, the first step is to understand what causes your child to act this way. Observe them to understand the triggers. Once you know them, try to avoid them. However, when a tantrum does occur, either firmly intervene at the start of the tantrum or, after it subsides. Help your child calm down and then work with them to find a solution to the problem.

Sudden anger outbursts

From being happy and cheerful, some children can suddenly launch into angry tirades, sometimes for trivial reasons. They can lash out verbally or physically. This can leave parents feeling dazed and helpless.

How you can help your child: Children usually act out in anger when they feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and scared. So, when your child has anger outbursts, they need your empathy. Letting them know you understand what they are going through can help them calm down and feel secure. For example, you can say, 'I know you're angry and want to scream and yell at me. But, you know, it is not okay to do that. I am here to help you.'

Damaging or breaking property 

Most children accidentally knock down things and damage them. Some, however, break things as an expression of their anger.

How you can help your child: Trying to reason with your child at the peak of an angry spell will not help. So, calm yourself first and wait. You are co-regulating their emotions. Once they calm down and explain their situation, empathize, and then discuss non-destructive ways of managing anger and frustration. For example, they can squeeze a stress ball or jump on a trampoline, or count from 1 to 100, whenever overwhelmed with anger. Also, set clear expectations that you do not expect such destructive acts, that they will be held accountable, and will have to bear the consequences.

Threatening or hitting others  

Young children often hit or threaten others, as it makes them feel powerful. With age, most children give up this habit for more acceptable behaviours. But some children are unable to do so. They often resort to threatening or assaulting their peers or others around them. When left unchecked, in some cases, the violent and aggressive behaviour escalates to such an extent that parents feel threatened.

How you can help your child: No excuse can justify the act of threatening or hitting others. Empathise with your child and help them understand that yours is a non-violent home. For example, you can say, 'I know you feel like hitting others when you get angry. But, we don't do that. I can help you handle your feelings.' Validate their feelings and show empathy to calm them before you talk to your child about what makes them feel aggressive and violent. Teach your child some calming techniques, like slow, deep breathing in and out.

Self-harm as an anger response

Some children use self-harm as a mechanism to cope with difficult feelings like anger. They do so to give vent to the anger or frustration bottled up inside. Children also hurt themselves to cope with feelings of guilt or shame, or an upsetting experience. It helps in relieving their pent-up feelings. Some ways children inflict self-harm include scratching and picking at scabs and skin, pulling their hair, or biting or bruising themselves.

How you can help your child: Self-harm is a serious threat to the safety of the child. It can turn into a habit as well. If you notice such behaviour or suspect it, intervene immediately. Treat your child's injuries or get them medical attention. Remember that most children who inflict self-harm feel ashamed of their behaviour. So, instead of asking direct questions, you can say something like, 'I have seen the cuts on your arms. Can you tell me why you feel like hurting yourself?' or 'Let me help you. I am always here for you. I won't ask too many questions.' Also, seek the help of an expert to help your child overcome the behaviour.

When to seek professional help for your child’s anger

You need to teach your child how to manage their anger. However, if you are unable to, connect with an expert to help your child effectively deal with their anger issues, and learn some anger-management activities specifically designed for kids.

See also: 6 Things To Never Do To An Angry Child, Making Your Child The Boss Of Her Anger! 

How to Make Anger Work for You and Your Preteen

Last updated on: November 27, 2025