Have you faced bullying for the way you look? Here are 6 effective ways for moms to deal with body shaming

It was a day I was focusing on the legs. I had conquered squats, lunges, leg presses and hamstring curls; my T-shirt was soaked with sweat, my muscles were singing, and my self-esteem was sky-high. From a paltry single squat, a couple of months ago, I could now easily do a hundred. Basking in the radiance of my workout, I went into the locker room and found a fellow gym member there. "That was some workout," she exclaimed and immediately added, "I used to be as huge as you, look at me now." All I remember after that conversation is a shriveling of my spirit. For over a week, her words haunted me, "Is that how people saw me? Huge? "The gym mirror, that had reflected the image of a toned, confident mother of twin daughters, now showed someone who was fighting hard to keep her confidence.

What makes people indulge in shaming someone's body? Is it vigilantism against those who do not conform to societal standards of size and shape? Often, it could be their upbringing or their own inadequacies.

According to a study done by researchers at Duke University, adults learn to body shame because of childhood experiences, and their negative behavior towards people who are overweight is most often influenced by their parents.

How to handle body shamers

Whether it's teasing someone about skinny legs or comparing someone to a sack of rice, body shaming anyone — mothers in particular —  is bullying and one needs solid tactics to deal with such shamers.

Here are six ways you could deal with body shaming:

1. Show some self-love

Appreciate your journey this far. You have an important role in the circle of life, by bringing a new person into this world. Let that sink in. Savor that feeling. Let the stretch marks and the loose skin remind you of one of the most incredible experiences you have had —  motherhood. If someone tries to bully you into thinking you have changed post motherhood, remember, it's about them, not you.

2. Boycott unrealistic media

The next time you're lounging, refuse to flip through generic entertainment channels or fashion magazines. Most of them carry heavily photo-shopped pictures of women. Even the innocent act of surfing or flipping through them will load your subconscious with unattainable body goals. Instead, opt to carry your own reading material and be mindful of what you watch.

3. Be body positive with yourself and others

Have you unknowingly teased your friend about her big breasts? Have you handed out friendly, yet unsolicited tips to someone about narrowing their waist? Or maybe you have ridiculed your own calf muscles? Ban all negative talk. Let your rule be to uplift and be positive. Pamper yourself without feeling guilty about it.

4. Choose your battles

It takes time and energy to respond appropriately to body shamers whether you do it peacefully or with anger. Sometimes, it's just better to shake your head and walk away.

For example, if your co-worker has been passive-aggressively commenting on your post-baby tummy, you need to address that. A passing comment from a stranger can be treated like water off a duck's back.

5. Keep some responses ready

Sometimes, it's not possible to think straight when someone you barely know or even someone you love, finds something negative to say about your body. Be prepared. Ready responses like 'I don't appreciate what you said,' or 'I don't think my weight is any of your concern', or 'I'll take care of my body when I'm ready, not when you want me to', can help you when you're in the heat of the moment.

6. Make the cut

Motherhood sometimes seems like a lesson in savoring every moment. As your baby repeats your words, mimics your tone and replays your body language, you realize how important it is to model positive behavior. So, if someone you know is constantly making you doubt your body image and causing cracks in your confidence, it's time to get rid of the toxicity. Focus on more important things in life like your home, your work and your loved ones.

How celebs have responded to body shaming:

Pregnancy is such a natural process. It took me time to lose weight with the first baby. But what’s most important is to embrace yourself. And to all trolls: ‘Say what you want guys, I think I have a superpower, I’m giving birth to a baby. 

- Sameera Reddy, actress

I don’t owe anyone an explanation because fat-shaming like this doesn’t bother me one bit. As a new mom, I want to be fit, healthy and energetic for my daughter. 

- Neha Dhupia, actress

I was able to handle body shaming because I have faced judgment for so long.- Aishwarya Rai, actress

Remember that just as you are the master of your fate and the captain of your soul, you are also the owner of your body. Take care of it, respect it, love it; above all, guard it fervently against those who attack.