How to Keep The Christmas Spirit Alive All Year: Kindness, Generosity, Gratitude

With its cheery carols and decorations, wholesome feasts, generous gift-giving, and self-reflection, Christmas puts us in the best of spirits. But don’t let the good things—generosity and gratitude—end with the celebrations.

Why the Christmas spirit matters beyond December

The spirit of Christmas has entered the lives of people, transcending social and cultural barriers. The act of giving gifts, being kind, and sharing joy has become a social practice among many. In fact, every festival is a celebration of the values we hold dear in life. It’s time to count our blessings and offer our thanks. A time that’s filled with love, happiness, and cheer. So how do we help our children carry this spirit throughout the year?

How to help children carry the Christmas spirit through the year

Read on for classic Christmas tales and timeless tips that can work.

Harnessing the Christmas spirit in everyday life  

Giving is at the core of Christmas festivities. We give and receive tangible gifts and intangible ones, such as time, attention, affection, assistance, concern, and charity. These exchanges immensely enrich our gatherings. Imagine how fulfilling our lives would be if we made these gifts a part of our daily lives?

This festive season, set your tiny humans on the path of virtue. Make kindness, generosity, and gratitude a way of life for them. Here’s how you can get started:

Lead by example

Be the person you want to see your child grow into. Surround your child with demos of the values you want them to imbibe. Cherish little moments of joy daily. Thank your family members for their help. Offer your assistance when your loved ones need it. Look for silver linings. Treat your family with respect. Show that you care about others’ feelings.

Appreciate your kid’s every good act

Watch out for instances where your child waits for their turn, lends a helping hand, says “Thank you,” or appreciates something/someone without being asked to. Be vocal and generous with your appreciation, applauding your kid’s initiative and encouraging their willingness to do good things. A timely high five, hug, or thumbs-up can turn a behavior into a habit.

Play games and narrate stories that impart a value. Games that involve turn-taking, sharing or distribution of resources, exchange, and teamwork can be fun teaching and learning experiences. You could also tell stories or share personal experiences that highlight a value.

Teaching Kindness through stories and daily actions

Do you know why Christmas trees are decorated with silver tinsel? There’s a charming story behind the tradition.

An old widow lived with her eight children in a small cottage in the woods. No matter how hard she worked, she could only provide her children with the bare necessities. She wished to buy them gifts for Christmas, but couldn’t afford to. How disappointing would it be for her children to get no toys or books for Christmas! The widow decided to put up a Christmas tree to cheer them up. She grabbed her husband’s axe, walked into the forest, cut down a small evergreen, and decorated it with humble ornaments—colorful fruits, ribbons, and Christmas cookies. Then she went to bed, tired but deeply satisfied with her effort.

All the spiders living in the cottage watched the widow work hard to give her children a joyful Christmas. Later in the night, they crawled out of the cracks to weave their silken webs and adorn the simple Christmas tree from top to bottom.

When the family woke up on Christmas morning, they were greeted by a magnificent sight—a dazzling little Christmas tree covered in delicate strands of pure silver!

Santa had come by with gifts for the children, and he had turned the spider webs into silver strings. The spiders' kindness was greatly magnified by Santa’s generosity.

We all want to help our children grow up into good people who choose to help others without expecting anything in return, just like the little spiders from the story. And it’s worth the trouble because being kind helps one establish meaningful connections with others. It also fills one with joy. A study, 'Does Selflessness Lead to Happiness? The Importance of Other-Oriented Motives' by Lee Rowland and Elizabeth Dunn, published in The Journal of Social Psychology in 2019, found that engaging in or merely observing acts of kindness made one happier.

Here are some ways to encourage your child to be kind:

Inspire them with stories on kindness

Some great books highlight the wonders of being kind:

• 'How Kind!' by Mary Murphy,
• 'Last Stop on Market Street' by Matt de la Peña,
• 'What Does It Mean to Be Kind?' by Rana DiOrio
• 'Horton Hears a Who!' by Dr Seuss.

Indulge in random acts of kindness

It could be helping someone at the grocery store, reaching out to a lonely kid at the park, or heroically rescuing the neighbor’s cat from a tree. Spontaneous gestures can leave all the involved parties feeling quite good. You can create a ‘Kindness Jar’ with prompts such as ‘Feed a stray,’ ‘Help an elderly person in need,’ and ‘Remind grandpa to take his pills.’ On each day leading up to Christmas, pick out a kind deed from the jar and put it into action. Let your children experience the joy that comes from being kind when they see how their actions put a smile on someone’s face.

Demonstrate how to be kind with words

Compliment a neighbor or a friend, wish for an acquaintance’s well-being, appreciate the efforts of your loved ones, and greet helpers in your community cheerfully to show that you value people and the work they do.

Build empathy

Please help your child become more attuned to their feelings and those of others by:

• Caring for and responding promptly to your child’s needs.
• Naming and validating your child’s feelings, especially the negative ones, without being judgmental:

“I understand you don’t feel like sharing your toys with your little brother, and it makes you angry when he repeatedly comes to you for them. Let’s talk and see how we can solve this problem."  

• Caring for someone in need and giving ideas to your child on how they can help:

“When you find your little sister being angry or upset, you can sit next to her and ask her if she’d like a hug.” 

According to a study, 'Empathy in Toddlers: The Role of Emotion Regulation, Language Ability, and Maternal Emotion Socialization Style' by Veronica Ornaghi, Elisabetta Conte, and Ilaria Grazzani, published in the journal Frontiers in Psychology in 2020, better emotional regulation enabled children to show greater empathy. Thus, when we help our children manage their feelings and treat themselves with kindness, they are more likely to extend the same courtesy to others.

Encouraging Generosity in big and small ways

Generous gift-giving has been a big part of the Christmas tradition from the very day Christ was born.

Three wise men from the East, known as the ‘Magi’, followed the Star of Bethlehem and traveled far and wide from their kingdoms to bless the newborn Jesus. They showered him with valuable gifts— not your typical swaddle cloth or rattle, but priceless treasures such as gold, frankincense, and myrrh (to signify that the newborn was a king, a god, and a mortal).

Not to be outdone by the extravagance of the Magi, local shepherds gave the baby a gift of great value to them—time. In the time that they could have tended to their herds and made a living for themselves, they chose to visit Jesus and spread the word of his birth.

This story helps children understand that anyone can be generous, irrespective of their ability or circumstance. One’s age or size doesn’t matter. It’s an excellent quality to be able to give liberally of one’s time, effort, and resources. According to a study, 'Happy Little Benefactor: Prosocial Behaviors Promote Happiness in Young Children From Two Cultures' by Yue Song et al, published in Frontiers in Psychology in 2020, even young children are aware of the emotional rewards of sharing. Their generosity could actually stem from their desire to find happiness, meaning, and satisfaction, instead of just being a transaction.

Here’s how you can inspire your child to give willingly and cheerfully, making them conscious of their power to bring about change:

Make gift-giving a thoughtful process

Use occasions such as Christmas or birthdays to help your child reflect on the kind of gifts they wish to give. Encourage them to think about the receivers’ needs, interests, and abilities.

Help them experience the high of choosing a gift that suits each person.

Turn giving back into a family activity

Take your children along when you engage in volunteering or donate to your local charity.

They can help you pack toys and books for children in need, clean up a part of your neighborhood, or go with you to serve at a hospital or an orphanage. They can also help you put together boxes of essentials, such as groceries or clothing, for the less privileged.

Make charity concrete

Children cannot make much sense of donating money to a children’s hospital or charity. They’ll find it easier to comprehend concrete acts done closer home, such as buying books for the domestic help’s children, or paying for the education or treatment of a familiar person in need.

Create opportunities for them to contribute, such as spending time with an elderly neighbor or associating with a cause that interests them (animal welfare, child care, education, etc.).

Draw their attention to others’ generosity

Show your appreciation for the people around you who work hard to make a difference.

Give mindfully

Christmas is also the time when we clean our homes and take stock of things we no longer need. Ensure you only give away things that are in usable condition, such as clothes and other utility items. This helps your child understand that while being generous, we also need to be respectful of the recipient.

Helping children develop Gratitude all year long

Are you familiar with the fairy tale of the elves and the shoemaker?

A shoemaker on the brink of abject poverty is helped by mysterious nightly visitors to make the most outstanding shoes. He diligently cut and laid out leather on his work table every evening, only to find finished boots on the table every morning! 

The new pairs of shoes were of exquisite craftsmanship, without a single stitch out of place. As customers clamored to his store to snap up his high-quality products, the shoemaker’s prospects improved, and soon he became wealthy.

One night, the shoemaker and his wife decided to wait in hiding to see who their mysterious helper was. At midnight, two little elves pranced into the room and began working earnestly at the leather with their nimble fingers. They stitched, sewed, and hammered the pieces into perfect shoes and left as soon as they were done.

Noticing that the elves were barefoot and bare-bodied, the shoemaker and his wife decided to make tiny clothes, stockings, and shoes for their little helpers as a token of gratitude.

Shortly before Christmas, when the elves came at midnight to work their magic, they did not find any leather on the table. Instead, they were greeted by a row of presents— little shirts, vests, coats, trousers, stockings, and shoes to keep them warm! The elves were overjoyed. They donned their gifts, singing and dancing happily on their way out. They stopped coming to the shoemaker’s place, but that did not harm his business in the least. The shoemaker and his wife lived well for the rest of their lives.

This Christmas fairy tale illustrates the uplifting virtue of thankfulness. Gratitude is the ability to feel thankful for the people and things that help us. It teaches us to appreciate the things that are good in our lives, instead of being bogged down by things that go wrong or don’t work out for us.

Gratitude is an emotional superpower. It can lift our spirits and fill us with positive energy, love, peace, and joy while helping nurture healthy relationships.

According to a study, 'Gratitude and Prosocial Behavior: Helping When It Costs You' by Monica Y. Bartlett and David DeSteno, published in Psychological Science in 2006, people who are thankful for the help they receive are themselves more likely to help others. Celebrations and other family gatherings are opportunities to help our kids learn how to be grateful.

Help your child identify people or things that make them feel good

It could be a gift they want, a person they wish to hang out with, a dish they want to eat, or a place they wish to visit.

Encourage them to rejoice in the experience. Express how glad you are with the things that went well—the decorations on the tree, the frosting on the cake, matching outfits, or handmade cards.

Give them a rich word bank of gratefulness

There are, after all, so many different ways of saying “Thank you.”

• We’re so lucky all the gifts got delivered on time!
• Aren’t you glad everyone could make it to the celebration?
• We are blessed to have such good weather today.

Encourage your child to find creative ways to express gratitude

Ask them to reflect on how they feel about a particular act, gift, or experience, why they are grateful for it, and how they would like to show their appreciation to the person responsible for their good feelings. Would they like to write a thank-you note, prepare a gift, return the favor, or help someone else in need? You could also consider having a ‘Gratitude Jar’ or putting up a family gratitude bulletin on the fridge.

Add gratefulness to your daily routine

Make a daily ritual of offering thanks, such as saying grace at mealtimes or a nightly gratitude prayer where your child can recollect the special things that made their day better.

Creating meaningful Family Traditions that last beyond Christmas

According to a South Korean study titled "Do Informal Social Ties and Local Festival Participation Relate to Subjective Well-Being? The Mediating Effect of Festival Participation" by Young-joo Ahn, published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health in 2021, those who participate in festival celebrations with loved ones in local communities show greater levels of well-being. Most celebrations involve time-honored traditions and rituals that can strengthen family bonds, pass on family values, and give children a feeling of security.

Try building a new festival tradition this year, such as having a potluck at home or baking cookies for all your neighbors. Let your child revel in the joys of celebrations that bring people together, foster a sense of belonging, and help build an identity based on your cultural heritage. In your efforts to raise your tiny human to be a caring, compassionate, and contented person, do not lose sight of their needs and opinions.

This Christmas, let's also learn to be patient, forgiving, and charitable with ourselves and our families. Let's give our children the time and space they need to become joyful, grateful givers.

Nurturing a year-round spirit of joy, connection, and giving

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