‘I’m bored!’: Here’s why boredom is good and ways to help your kids embrace it

Today, one of the greatest parenting challenges is how to help our children cope with the times when they have nothing to do. When we were kids, boredom inspired us to come up with innovative games and more mischief. For our kids, however, boredom has become a bit of an existential crisis! We cannot imagine our preschoolers or primary schoolers having a stretch of time in their day that’s completely unaccounted for. When they say, “I’m bored,” what do we do?

As we frantically scramble to fend off our kids’ boredom with screen time or structured activity, we unwittingly rob them of great learning opportunities. Boredom is not an evil from which we need to protect our kids. Instead, it’s a challenge they can rise to, one that pushes them to think and act for themselves.

4 benefits of being bored

Do you keep a reserve of toys and games in fear of the times your kid will come running to you saying they’re bored? Save yourself the trouble, and leave it to your little ones to figure out what to do with their free time.

Kids learn a host of critical skills when they look for ways to entertain themselves. Here are four ways boredom can help our children grow mentally and emotionally.

1. Encourages creativity

Boredom is a vacuum that needs to be filled, and it can be left to the child’s imagination to fill that vacuum with what they find interesting and meaningful. Our kids will be forced to seek new ways to have fun, or look at old things in a new light. Don’t be surprised if they build a pillow fort on your bed, or you find them having a gunfight from the trenches of Amazon cartons.

2. Helps build an identity

The more children explore on their own, the more they learn about themselves and what motivates them—their preferences, strengths, weaknesses, abilities and interests. Your highly energetic 4-year-old playing percussion on an upturned bucket could signal the start of a long and fruitful career in music. Ultimately, boredom can turn a child’s gaze inward and help them become self-aware.

3. Makes children self-driven

Let your kid manage their boredom by themselves, and you’ll have a self-directed problem-solver on your hands. Instead of expecting you to give them something to do, they will think up ways to play. They will give free rein to their curiosity and imagination. Your child will devise their own projects, learning perseverance when they fail and growing in confidence when they succeed. Not to mention the invaluable lessons in organization, planning and execution that will help them as they navigate school, college and life.

4. Fosters mindfulness and self-regulation

Boredom is a pause button that slows your kid down and pulls them out of a dizzying loop of constant entertainment and activities. The free time also frees their mind to wander and eventually, your child will find some calm and quiet. When they do find a way to engage themselves, they can summon the patience and concentration required to complete a game or task.

Children will learn how to manage their confusion and frustration at not having anything to do, and their self-regulation skills will serve them well, even in adulthood.

Facilitating boredom

We need to get over our desperate need to keep our kids constantly engaged, so that we can expose them to some aimless free time.

Here are some ways to foster constructive boredom.

• Keep gadgets out of reach: Phones, tablets, laptops and television offer an easy escape from boredom, instead of an engaging solution. Make these devices inaccessible to your kids for a fixed time each day, either physically or with passwords, and you create a regular pocket of free-thinking time.
• Limit the number of toys: Too many toys and games can be overwhelming for kids. They could end up flitting from one activity to another without finishing any. Children can have a lot of fun with just a few toys or even none at all. Give them some cardboard boxes or a free run of the kitchen shelves, and you could be treated to carton spaceships, fortresses, vehicles, barns or houses, or comically original cooking experiments!
• Schedule free time: Your child’s daily time-table is probably packed with online classes, homework/study time, activity classes and mealtimes. How about setting aside some free time each day, when your child is left to their own devices? It could be a half-hour before or after lunch, a short spell before dinner, or any other time that works for them.
• Discourage attention-seeking behaviors: Kids say “I’m bored” for a variety of reasons. It could be code for hunger or curiosity about what their parents are doing. It could also be a plea for attention. Feed your hungry kid or let them join you in an activity if it’s appropriate, but do not encourage attention-seeking behaviors. If you drop everything to cater to their need for entertainment, they will never look for solutions. You’ll end up encouraging an undesirable behavior and turning your kids into dependent, indecisive individuals.

Putting a conducive environment in place

It’s not enough to merely allow our kids to get bored. We must also nurture an environment that abounds with play options and where our guidance is available to the young ones whenever they need it. With some effort and creative thinking, we can furnish every day, engaging solutions to boredom around the house.

• Create an exclusive playing space: It could be a corner of the bedroom or study, with a variety of play materials. Ensure that your child stays in your line of sight. Of course, play can transcend this space and that’s okay, too.
• Keep reading materials, art and craft supplies handy: Stock up on books, children’s encyclopedias, paints, sketchbooks, origami paper, beads, glue and costumes for dress-up, such as hats, masks or outfits. Should your child feel like reading, painting, doing craftwork or pretend playing, they need not be held back by a lack of materials.
• Allow access to the kitchen: The kitchen is a fount of inspiration. Utensils, cutlery, groceries or even water can catch your kid’s fancy. There are many useful life lessons to be learned in pretend play, such as shopping or mock cooking. Even impromptu kitchen concerts can be a satisfying experience for your kids, though they may rattle your ears.
• Encourage outdoor play: Be it pottering about in the garden, playing in the yard with water or even bird-watching, the outdoors can be a great source of inspiration.
• Make peace with mess and noise: Prepare to have your closets ransacked, your storeroom raided, your furniture upturned and your garden dug up. Brace yourself for muddy feet, hands dripping with paint, wet floors and messed-up beds. It’s all for a good cause. You could even take this opportunity to help your kids learn how to clean up after themselves!

In pursuit of sanity and a modicum of peace, we have taken it upon ourselves to engage and entertain our children so they never feel bored. We’ve equated boredom with laziness and an unflattering lack of purpose or imagination. It’s time we changed our approach to boredom.

Do not fear boredom. Embrace it, and turn it into something that brings your child closer to themselves and to you.