Top 5 Time-Tested Ways To Accept And Support Your Teen’s Friendships

Your child, who once preferred you over everyone else, is now eager to spend more time with their friends - a shift that leaves you feeling uneasy and anxious. But did you know the relationships your child is set to build now will pave the way for building social skills?  Let's find out how.

What can you do to nurture and positively impact your teen's friendships?

Understand

"I need to go to that party! You can't ask me not to go!"

According to parenting expert Dr Dan Siegel, when you hear your child stating they need to go for a sleepover at a friend's place (a friend whose name you've barely heard of), they really mean it. Their brain is asking them to belong and connect with a peer or a peer group to survive. Although you don't need to allow them to do whatever they want, you can understand why they feel that way and better help them deal with the situation.

Invite friends home

"You have no idea how funny Raksha can get!"

Invite your child's friends and give them some space to hang out in your home. Make pleasant conversation with them for a while. Listen to what they say, how they express themselves, and watch how they relate to each other so you understand them better. This can often be reassuring, but it can also present you with warning signs of friends who may be a negative influence. When you don't approve of one friend, reflect on why you feel that way. If it is something personal, keep it aside. But if you have strong reasons to think otherwise, initiate a dialogue with your child and explain your concerns.

Continue with the rules

"I'm older. Why can't you let me stay out longer?"

Even though teen friendships are important, there are downsides too. Some teens tend to compromise their values just to gain membership in a peer group. This also makes them vulnerable to peer influence. They may also display a heightened sense of risk-taking behavior when they are around friends. The very thought of having a peer group audience can kickstart your child's thrill-seeking behavior. This reason is good enough for you to continue to lay down clear family rules for your child and stick to them. Even so, be calm and compassionate when they challenge the rules. The goal is to have them know that certain rules are non-negotiable.

Keep watch

Watch out for toxic friendships that can hurt your child. If your child repeatedly feels low, criticized, and judged by a friend or a group of friends, it can have a bad impact on their self-esteem.

• Talk to your child to understand what's going on in their life.
• Encourage them to get involved in activities they are good at. This will help them understand their worth and help them make better choices in friendships.
• Being attached to one friend or a single group of friends can sometimes influence your child negatively. If there is a feud or chaos within that small circle, it may disturb your child deeply. Therefore, encourage and open out avenues for your child to form different groups of friends by introducing them to a sport, a reading club, or a volunteering activity that interests them. This way, their focus and energy will be channeled and distributed in rewarding ways. It can also be an enriching experience to have peer groups that share their varied interests.
• Teach your child why it is better to stand up for themself or say no when they are in an uncomfortable situation. Tell them it just makes them look strong and assertive.
• Offer to be your child's ally. They can always reach out to you to rescue them from any situation with just a message or call. Promise them that you will not be hard on them in such situations. You can, however, have an open conversation about it later.

Connect to your teen

Even if your child thinks you are 'uncool' and looks at you more like an enemy, they need you now more than ever. Teen years can be complex and confusing. Your child may face difficulties for which they need your support. During such challenging situations, it would be ideal if they came to you for support rather than reaching out to another teen. Nurture your relationship with your teen to make that happen.

The bottom line is that preferring a peer group is a sign that your child is preparing for their future. That said, they will always need your love, support, and guidance. Ensure you stay connected as your child grows into their adolescent years, which will last till around age 25.