Changes in Adolescence

Being in good company is extremely important. Since you know your child and if what he is saying is true, then, those kids cannot be called his 'friends'.
Did they bully or intimidate him to buy it ? try to find out more about what really happened and what is going on.

Unfortunately this group of kids seems to be heading for trouble and the sad news is that theses bullies will have supporters, who will listen to them and respect them out of fear or whatever reason, and your child will never be able to please all of them.

Please tell him that it is ok to be different from them. There is no need to buy or use anything just to please this group of kids or belong in that group. He can find better friends and he doesn't need these kind of people in his life.
Also educate him about the harmful effects of smoking and tell him that smoking is something that you don't believe in or do. He should take decisions that are good for him, his family, and everybody in general.
Highlight his strong points and good behavior and tell him that he has made you proud several times and you hope he continues that all his life. Good Luck.

Dear parent,

I can imagine how worried you must be about this. There are a few issues here: 1) is your teen smoking-in which case is it due to peer pressure? and 2) is he telling the truth- was he indeed forced to buy the cigarettes, which means he lacks assertiveness or is he telling lies to cover up his own smoking? The best way to find out whats really going on is to have regular ongoing conversations with your son. Be cued into his life, talk to him daily (not just asking him questions but also sharing about your own day), and ensure that when he does share something (even if you dont approve of it) resist the urge to scold or lecture him. Adolescents are only put off and pushed away by adults who are judgmental. You could also invite your sons friends home and have friendly conversations to get to know them better.
This isnt to say that you should encourage the activities you know are harmful or undesirable. You can and should pass on your own values to him in a way that doesnt sound preachy. Specifically, with regard to smoking, its possible that your son does lack assertiveness skills to be able to say no to his friends (whether to actually smoke himself or to buy the cigarettes). In this case, you should teach him how he can stand up for himself, despite pressure from his friends. Use everyday moments to talk about friendships and what they entail. For example, friendships should be characterized by mutual respect and not coercion. Talk about how its not okay to force someone to do things they are not comfortable with, no matter how much fun it may seem to you. Also, play the What if? game. Discuss with your son some possible peer pressure situations. Ask him what he would do in such situations. This will equip your son with tools he can use if an actual situation arises without having to think his feet about what to do.

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