How to Stop Yelling at Your Child and Handle Difficult Moments Calmly and Effectively

Dealing with children requires a lot of patience and tact. However, overwhelmed by the situations children create, parents often resort to yelling.  So, if you have the habit of yelling at your child (even if it is only occasional), here are some things you can do to end the habit.

1. Find out the reasons: There are many reasons why parents resort to yelling at their kids. So, indulge in a little bit of reflection to find out what triggers you. Is it because your child is not paying attention to what you say? Is it because they are defiant? Do you tend to yell after you return tired from work? Is it because your parents resorted to yelling at you while you were a child? Once you know the reasons why you yell, take steps to keep to help yourself.

2. Take a time-out: This is also one of the easiest things to do. Whenever you feel like your child is testing your patience and you are about to burst out, walk away from the scene. This will allow your anger to subside and allow you to think about how to tackle the situation differently. Once you have calmed down, come back and talk to your child. Tell them that their behaviour is unacceptable and have them explain what's bothering them.

3. Instill discipline and responsibility: If you find that issues related to discipline are the triggers that make you yell, go ahead and talk with your child. Set clear rules and expectations. Also, set the consequences for not following the rules. So, the next time they break a rule, instead of resorting to yelling, you can follow through with the consequences.

4. Bring in some fun and humour: Try to resolve your anger with humor. It puts you and your child in a better mood and makes them more amenable to redirection. For example, if your young one is refusing to eat, you can playfully tell them to assume that they are an elephant. And then you can ask your child to open their mouth and eat like an elephant. Or, you can say 'Open Sesame' or 'Close Sesame' each time they open and close their mouth.

5. Do a reality check: Are you a perfectionist? Are you expecting your child to be perfect? Sometimes, your child's not being able to meet the high standards you expect may also cause you to yell. So, step back and think about having realistic expectations of your child, keeping in mind their age, what they are capable of doing, and learning.

6. Speak softly: Over a period, yelling becomes a habit, and then, even in the normal course of a conversation, you tend to speak in a loud voice. So, teach yourself to speak softly, and with time, you will learn to speak in a low voice.

For parents who yell, it is important to remember that their child will also learn to yell because you are modelling it for them.   So, set yourself on the path to end the habit of yelling right away. However, on a lighter note, don't hesitate to shout when you are happy. A whoop of joy can spread love all around!