Words Parents Should Stop Saying To Raise Respectful, Gender-Sensitive Boys

How everyday language shapes boys’ beliefs about gender

We are often guilty of using gender stereotypes—knowingly or unknowingly. If we want to raise respectful boys (and confident girls), it starts with the words we use at home.

Here are some everyday phrases to pause, replace, and reframe.

Boys have emotions, too

Wrong: Why are you crying like a girl?
Right: You seem to be upset about something. Do you want to talk about it?

Boys are as responsible as girls

Wrong: Boys will be boys (even if the phrase is used for fun).
Right: Children will be children.

Being brave isn’t about being ‘manly’

Wrong: In tough situations, behave like a man.
Right: In tough situations, be brave and resilient.

Girls can be assertive too

Wrong: She is so aggressive, just like a boy.
Right: She is an assertive and confident girl.

Household work is everyone’s responsibility

Wrong: Son, ask your sister to set the table.
Right: Son, it’s your turn to set the table today.

Girls are not the only ones who complain

Wrong: What are you complaining about, like a girl?
Right: What are you complaining about?

Women can have muscles too

Wrong: She is too muscular, like a man.
Right: She is fit and healthy.

Football is for both boys and girls

Wrong: Why does your sister have to play football? It’s a boy’s game.
Right: Your sister has a natural talent for the game.

Boys can be sincere, too.

Wrong: You boys never do your work on time. Only the girls are sincere about their work.
Right: A few of you never do your work on time.

Women don’t have to be confined to desk jobs

Wrong: I want her to take up a desk job. Leave the outdoor jobs to the boys.
Right: She can choose what she is most comfortable with.

Boys can feel scared, too

Wrong: Don’t be a sissy. It’s only a lizard.
Right: Did the lizard scare you?

A gentle reminder for parents

You can take inspiration from these examples to come up with your own phrases in daily conversations.
The key idea is not to divide human qualities—like bravery, sincerity, strength, or sensitivity—by gender.

When we change our language:

• Boys learn that it’s okay to be emotional
• Girls learn that it’s okay to be confident and assertive
• Children learn that respect has no gender

Small shifts in words can quietly create big mindset shifts.

Last updated on: December 23, 2025