Raising An Introvert Child:10 Gentle Tips To Raise Your Child With Confidence

Let's start by understanding the characteristics of an introvert, and what makes an introvert different from an extrovert and an ambivert. The personality of an individual is understood through a set of characteristics that determine the way they think, feel, and behave. You can answer the following questions to understand your child's personality.

1. Is your child at their best in a group or one-to-one? 

2. Do they have many friends or only a few close friends?

3. Are they good at initiating and carrying on a conversation, or listening to others and sharing their thoughts once they are clear in their mind?

4. Do they thrive when they've had a day full of external stimulation through interactions, or are they at their best when they've had a day with a mix of interactions and time for themself?

5. Do they make decisions spontaneously or take time to decide?

An extroverted child feels at their best in a group and is more spontaneous at making decisions. Conversely, an introverted child seeks to be on their own to play and reflect, and prefers interacting with very few people. An ambiverted child has a mix of both characteristics.

By what age does a child's personality begin to take shape? 

A child's personality begins to form as early as age 3 and becomes stable by the age of 20, but keeps evolving throughout their lifespan. Changes in their personality are based on their life experiences, learning, and the choices they make.

Does knowing your child's personality type help in their upbringing?

A personality type will give you a better idea of what your child thrives on and what drains them. And yet, it could confuse you if you expect your child to behave exactly in the manner suggested for their personality type. So, as a parent, how can you support your child's healthy development? Let's look at some of the ways.

1. Listen to your child. Sadly, 'do this' or 'don't do this' is a phrase most children often hear. Most parents plan their child's schedules without asking their opinion and impose their decisions, mostly because they do not know better. At the same time, parents also worry that by using force, they may risk breaching the trust inherent in the parent-child relationship.

To counter this, speak to your child and make them partners in the decision-making process. For example, if you want your child to switch off the television and go out and play, you most likely wish for her to be healthy. Now, try to guess why your child wants to watch television. She wants to relax and have fun, and wants you to respect her choice.

Explain to your child the reasons why you want her to go out and play, and also listen to what she has to say. When parents and children hear each other out and connect with each other's needs, they are more likely to find a solution that works well for both of them.

2. Help your child feel empowered. If your child expresses a desire to help you out in the kitchen, ask why they want to do so. Is it to stay engaged, contribute to a household chore, or is there another reason? Discuss their reasons and allow them to choose what they would like to do. If they want to help you just to stay engaged, 'et them think of other options to do so. But if he wants to help you with household chores, discuss the things that he can do on his own, like arranging the plates for the meal.

3. Share power with them. Children are often asked to stay quiet and listen to what adults are saying, and do what they are told. This approach can work with young children. However, as they grow up, they begin to voice their opinions, likes, and dislikes more strongly, as they've seen grown-ups do. Making decisions together with your child, from a young age, can help them understand and reassure them that every family member's opinion matters.

4. Teach them it's ok to say 'no'. Culturally, and as a collectivistic society, we've learnt to accommodate everyone's wishes. Sadly, in the process, we have started believing that saying 'no' is rude. However, this is not true. For your child to say 'yes', they must learn to say 'no'.

5. Familiarise your child with different emotions. Tell your child about the different emotions people feel—happy, sad, angry, excited, scared. You could do this during everyday conversations by sharing how you feel and by asking them how they are feeling.

6. Let them play. Academic demands often compel parents to look for ways to engage their children in studies. Often, children as young as 6 years old are made to attend tuition after school and then finish their homework. Because of such a busy schedule, they don't get time to play. Play time is not merely about engaging in games. It is unscheduled free time, which helps children learn how to make decisions, stay fit physically and mentally, regulate their emotions, and interact with other children.

7. Respecting the slow pace of children. Children spend every moment engaged in doing something. They constantly move from one activity to another, feel frustrated, and cry when they don't like something they are doing or are made to do. Discussing things with your child in advance will help them adapt better to any change and balance your lives.

For example, tell your child about your picnic plans two days ahead of time. You can tell them the names of all who are going, the preparations you are going to make, and the departure time. Answer all their queries. It helps them feel safe and secure.

8. Spend time with your child. Spend time talking, playing, and reading with your child and as a family. These will create a loving and trusting bond among all family members.

9. Respect your child's individuality. Judging and comparing children with others can make them feel frustrated. Encourage and support your child to experiment, ask questions, and express themself. Focus on their strengths and use their accomplishments as a benchmark.

10. Spend time with yourself, doing what you love. You can't pour from an empty cup! Nurture your love for yourself by doing what you like. It is only when you care for yourself and feel full within that you'll be able to connect with everyone around you. Seek support from those around you to occasionally take care of your child. This would allow you to engage in activities you enjoy doing and improve your well-being.