How To Help Your Teenager Make Use Of The Internet In A Constructive Manner

When my daughter turned 13, her first question to me was "can I use the internet as per my choice now?" It is pertinent to note that while in India the uniform age for 'adulthood' is 18 as per the juvenile justice Act (with certain exceptions especially for considering crimes committed by minors), it does not restrict children as young as 10 or 12 to access the internet or, to be specific, several websites that are meant only for adults. Social media websites including Facebook or Google do not allow children below 13 to have their profiles on them. This however does not bar children from creating profiles either in their own names or in the names of others and use it as they feel. This makes the virtual world extremely risky for the children especially, since they can not only be victims of predators, but also may victimise others as they may not be monitored by the social media platforms. Children may open Facebook profiles without the knowledge of the parents, may also download many unwanted materials only to invite more trouble for the parents as well as themselves. Question is, can parents or elders in the family monitor children in such cases?

What strikes me is that many parents start with a positive note as to what their children can do with their mobile phones. No sooner the conversation takes a negative tone as the parents start to list the problems they had to face due to the child's addictive behavior with the internet and playing games on the phone. We need to understand that addiction here does not mean only for the games. It also means addiction to knowing the big bad world.

One must understand that children cannot be held back from information technology. Being born in the digital era, they will be driven to information communication technology (ICT) because this plays as the present-day encyclopedia for them. Keeping this in mind, we can chalk out how children can be motivated to use ICT in a positive way. The first thing that a parent need to tell his child is this is a risk-laden zone. One mistake may ruin their lives, be it in handling Facebook or WhatsApp privacy or downloading games or apps. They must be told that information super highway must be used with the same alertness as they must use real-life highways. Accidents like revealing private information to unknown persons may bring lifelong scars to the minds as well as the reputation of the victim. Such risks may be avoided when the child has been made understood why a stranger may pose danger to her even when he asks for their birthday or wants to add the child to the friend list even though he may not be known to the child, but maybe a mere acquaintance or a colleague of the parents. Once the child understands this, she can become an ambassador for safe internet herself.

Here are some unique ways to help your child make constructive use of the Internet:

• Encourage them to write blogs of their interest. They can emerge as a blogger on various subjects.
• Does your child enjoy photography? Make them understand that they need to take permission from their 'subjects' if they are targeting human beings. They may not like to be photographed always. The same goes for others as well. Not everyone may like to be photographed on the beach or in a tourist spot or in specific functions. Once they are aware of these basic rules, you can encourage them to upload their pictures to photo-sharing sites. Tell them that criticisms make one perfect and they must be open to them. But they must know how to control the audience of their intellectual product. This will also enable them to confront bullies and stalkers.
• Encourage them to be a teacher and guide for their grandparents when it comes to ICT. Instead of sending selfies to virtual friends, they can take family selfies, and help the older generations to get reconnected with their families and friends by sending these pictures to their friends. They can teach privacy norms to their grandparents. You may rest assured that your child would never fall prey to any predator because she would master all the safety norms through this simple activity.
• Has your child downloaded too many games? Ask them which is more violent and why. Make them aware of why games involving murder and hitting may make a child violent. When they understand that violence is not right, they would protest against any kind of violence, including mental torture.

I always feel that as human beings we need to explore the unknown to get the positive side of it leaving the negative side. As a parent, I feel we all should guide our children to know the dangers of the online world and train them to acquire positive knowledge. This will not only ensure their safety but also help in their shaping as well-informed and positive human beings.