Understanding Fat-Shaming In Children: How Parents Can Support Positive Body Image Wisely

Fat-shaming can slip into a child’s world quietly, through comments at school, comparisons at home, or even casual jokes that seem harmless on the surface. But these moments can deeply affect how a child sees their body and their worth. As parents, we all want our children to feel confident, loved, and secure in who they are, yet we easily miss the subtle ways weight-based teasing impacts their emotional and physical well-being.

Scenario 1: Ron, an academically bright seven-year-old boy of higher weight, avoids eating in front of his father. He also avoids participating in physical activities in school. The problem? His father comments on his weight while buying him clothes, calls him ‘fatso’ in an effort to motivate him to exercise, and forbids him from eating what he calls ‘bad’ food. Of late, Ron has started reporting sick each time the PT period approaches.

Scenario 2: Melissa, a 14-year-old girl of higher weight, writes a photography blog, which is an instant hit with many teens at her school. Of late, however, she has been skipping meals and following unhealthy eating patterns. The problem? She has started receiving negative comments about her appearance on her blog. Instead of commenting on her writing and photography skills, a few girls from school have started commenting on her pictures, calling her fat and chunky, and making rude jokes about her appearance.

Understanding fat-shaming and how it affects children

Two different scenarios, but one common problem—fat-shaming is becoming increasingly common in today’s ‘thin world’. Fat-shaming or weight-based teasing comprises humiliating or judging a child by resorting to mocking or critical comments about their size, shape, or weight.

How common is fat-shaming among children and teens?

Fat-shaming among children and adolescents is more common than we may think. It can take many forms, from rude stares and disparaging remarks to weight-based victimization, resulting in teasing, discrimination, and even violence. Irrespective of whether fat-shaming is subtle or overt, or whether it is perpetrated by peers, media, teachers, or parents, the intensity of the feeling of shame is often felt acutely.

Why do even young children internalize body image messages?

Negative stereotypes toward higher-weight peers begin early in childhood; even preschoolers learn that society judges people by how they look. Yes, you may be surprised that we mentioned this, but recent studies suggest that this is indeed the case. An Australian study published in 2019 found that by the age of 5, 50% of the 111 girls surveyed had internalized the thin ideal. Today, more than ever before, there exists a dangerous cocktail of increasing representation of the ideal body size and shape, together with strong (and often misleading) messages about dieting and nutrition control. The media's continued obsession with actors and models who have perfect bodies also plays a part.

Are parents unknowingly contributing to fat-shaming?

Helping children feel good about their bodies is a critical aspect of parenting. Unfortunately, knowingly or unknowingly, many parents are guilty of fat-shaming their children. Comments such as, “That baby fat is still hanging on, huh?” or “You’re going to eat ALL of that?” may sound painfully familiar to children who are fat-shamed.  In a 2012 American study on children at a weight-loss camp, 37% said that their parents had bullied them about their size. Parents may fat-shame their child because of their own feelings of inadequacy, inordinate concern about what others think (as a result, they may feel ashamed of their child), or genuine health concerns about their child being of a higher weight. The biased perception that higher-weight children are lazy or spoiled further compounds the prejudices.

Important facts every parent should know about fat-shaming

Why fat-shaming harms children more than it helps

You might think that calling out a child or chastising them for their weight may motivate them towards corrective measures, but it does not. On the contrary, it can lead to adverse physical and mental health consequences, according to several studies on the subject. Here is why:

• Teaching children and adolescents that their bodies are shameful is deeply problematic. It can make the child feel inadequate about her body, leading to poor body image and sense of self.
• To shame children into weight loss teaches them to equate their worth with a number on a scale and sets them up for a lifetime of thinking their size is an indication of who they are. Research on weight-based teasing has shown unhealthy effects on body dissatisfaction and self-esteem. Fat-shaming could lead a child to compare themself with others in self-deprecating ways, rather than appreciating their unique talents and contributions.
• Fat-shaming children and adolescents has been linked to harmful psychological consequences. In a Canadian study published in Paediatric Child Health in 2010, a significant association was found between weight-teasing by parents and peers and depression and anxiety. It can get worse, considering the potentially debilitating effects of depression. Weight-based teasing is also associated with suicidal ideation, according to a 2013 study at Yale University.
• Overweight children who are fat-shamed are more likely to gain further weight.
• A National Institute of Health (NIH, US) study published in Pediatric Obesity in 2019 found that overweight children and adolescents who were ridiculed about their weight increased their body mass by 33% and their fat mass by 91% more per year than those who weren’t. In an exclusive interaction with ParentCircle, Schvey, the lead investigator of this study, says, “A child who is teased might feel badly about his body and try to lose weight quickly to prevent further teasing, turning to unhealthy or extreme weight loss methods which may actually cause them to gain weight in the future.”
• Research has amply demonstrated that fat-shaming doesn’t motivate a healthy behavioral change. On the contrary, it propels unhealthy behaviors. Children are prone to finding solace in food and indulging in binge eating. They could completely avoid physical activity. “Children who are teased about their weight may use food to cope with negative feelings. They may also feel more self-conscious when participating in Physical Education class or sports, and may actually begin to avoid exercise altogether. Collectively, these behaviors might all contribute to weight gain”, adds Schvey. The increased weight gain may increase the risk of fat-shaming, creating a vicious cycle.
• Fat-shaming may contribute to the elevated secretion of the stress hormone, cortisol. According to a study published in Psychoneuroendocrinology in 2014, elevated cortisol can stimulate appetite, blunt satiety cues, inhibit self-control, and increase preference for energy-dense foods, leading to further weight gain.
• Weight-based teasing also poses a very real risk of the child developing an eating disorder, most commonly bulimia. With children as young as six developing eating disorders, and more adolescents than ever being admitted to hospitals for eating disorders, weight is not what we should be focusing on.

What parents can do to help their child

You can help your child deal with fat-shaming and develop a positive body image in the following ways:

Help your child celebrate their body positively

Avoid negative words and phrases

Observe and notice any negative body talk you engage in, even if it is about yourself. Instead of saying, "These jeans make me look fat," consider modeling body positivity by saying, "I like the way this dress looks on me," or "I feel beautiful today." Avoid using the words ‘fat’ and ‘obese’ and instead, use neutral words like ‘weight’ or ‘body mass index'.

Check for messages from others

This includes peers, teachers, coaches, family friends, and relatives. Are they reinforcing the ‘ideal’ body weight or shape in your child? For example, is their coach telling them they can’t take up boxing because they're not muscular enough? Practice with your teen to stand up for themself when they hear negative messages from others about their body,

Strengthen the relationship with the body

Teach your child to appreciate their body not only for its appearance, but also for what it can do, such as riding a bike, playing an instrument, or playing a sport. Twenty-six-year-old cricketer, Rahkeem Cornwall, weighing nearly 300 pounds, was selected for the prestigious Test match squad of the West Indies to play against India. Well, if he were ever fat-shamed, he would never have made it this big. Remember, simple experiences can teach us to be mindful of our children's feelings and emotions.

For your teen: Help your child feel self-compassion and love towards their body by practicing body-positive affirmations. Some examples are given below:

• My body deserves love
• Just because someone looks perfect on the outside doesn’t mean their life is perfect. The struggle is a part of life, and just what being human is about.
• I feed my body nutritious food and give it nourishing exercise because it deserves to be taken care of.

Teach critical thinking about body image and media messages

Talk about the representation of people in the media

Have ongoing conversations with your child about how people are portrayed in the media, including TV soaps, movies, and advertisements. A female lead actor mostly conforms to the stereotype of ‘tall, thin, and fair’ while her male counterpart is mostly tall, muscular, and has six-pack abs. Talk about how most media images are airbrushed, photo-shopped, or otherwise altered.

Teach appreciation for diversity

Strictly avoid commenting on others’ appearance (say in a market or while looking at photos). Discourage body-negative comments and jokes about their weight. Encourage appreciation for all body sizes and shapes. Discuss how these outward characteristics say nothing about a person’s character.

For your teen: Discuss with your teen how being surrounded by idealized media representations could make her feel dissatisfied with her own body. Seek unconventional role models. Celebrities like Kate Winslet and Adele have spoken out against being fat-shamed and have never resorted to the ‘ideal’ body shape, despite immense pressure.

In scenario 2, Melissa was fat-shamed by her peers on her blog.

How could Melissa’s mother respond?

Melissa’s mother could:

• Empathize with her daughter’s feelings and assure her that fat-shaming is not her fault, and emphasize the importance of loving one’s own body.
• Encourage her to keep writing her blog and posting her photography.
• Have conversations with Melissa about developing a critical perspective on the unrealistic, stereotypical images of bodies in media today and how they impact young minds.
• Reassure her teen and help her focus more on her overall health (both physical and mental) rather than solely on her looks.

What’s RIGHT with this response: Melissa’s mother is empathic, understanding, supportive, and reassuring as she guides her daughter towards building self-appreciation and self-worth.

Encourage healthy fitness habits without focusing on weight

Develop positive ways of being fit

• Focus on fitness, not weight. Talk about how eating a nutritious diet, exercising regularly, and staying fit matter more than being fat or thin. Encourage your child to join sports or physical activities. Eat at least one meal together as a family.
• Encourage an active lifestyle. Adopt an active family lifestyle by choosing to walk short distances instead of using the vehicle, and taking the stairs instead of the elevator. Together, explore other positive ways to be active.
• Focus on talents and strengths. Focus on what makes your child mentally (as opposed to only physically) fit. Talk about how their strengths and talents make them unique and help them face life’s most beautiful and challenging moments gracefully.

For your teen: Discuss the harmful effects of being too thin or too bulky, starving, crash dieting, binge eating, and consuming diet pills or steroids. Similarly, exercising excessively will wear out their body and not give it the rest and replenishment it requires. Together with your teen, you can watch documentaries of people who have fought eating disorders and the havoc that starving, purging, or overexercising has played on their bodies.

When your child is fat-shamed: How parents can respond

In scenario 1, the father fat-shamed Ron. What could he do instead?

Calling Ron ‘fatso’ will not motivate Ron to start running. Also, equating exercise to losing weight won’t help. This sends Ron the message that exercise is punishment for eating the wrong foods, and the main reason to exercise is to change your body. This makes children link a lack of physical activity with being fat; it interferes with their natural love to move their bodies because it’s fun and feels good.

Instead, the father could:

• Participate in physical activities with Ron, like walking, swimming, gardening, etc.
• Guide Ron on how to have a healthy relationship with food rather than referring to food as ‘good’ or ‘bad.’
• Help Ron identify and build his strengths. For example, does he have a good sense of humor? Writing skills? Theatre talent? His father could help him hone his skills.

Moving forward: How families can model body positivity every day

While you can’t control all the messages your child gets in the media, on the playground, and even from other adults in their lives, you can make sure you're not contributing to negative attitudes toward weight. In fact, you have to help your child actively fight fat-shaming.

What you can start doing today

• Model body positivity to your child. Initiate an experiment in which you catch each other saying unkind things about each other’s bodies or appearance.
• Talk to your child about how eating a nutritious diet, exercising regularly, and being fit are more important than being fat or thin.
• Enjoy fitness activities as a family, be it going for a walk together after dinner or dancing to music.

Fat-shaming can affect children more deeply than we realize, but with awareness and gentle guidance, parents can make a powerful difference. By choosing kinder language, modeling body positivity, and shifting the focus away from weight and toward well-being, you can create an environment where your child feels safe, valued, and understood.

Remember—children thrive when they know they are loved for who they are, not how they look. Every small step you take today helps your child build a healthier relationship with food, fitness, and their own growing body. And you're not alone in this journey. Many families face the same concerns. With the right support, you and your child can move toward confidence, compassion, and lifelong emotional strength.

Last updated on: December 03, 2025