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  3. Behaviour in 11 - 13 year olds



Behaviour in 11 - 13 year olds

Are you a parent of an adolescent child who is concerned about his/her behaviour? Join our discussion to clear your doubts, share your journey, know from our experts and explore more about behaviour and how you can help them! ... more

  • Team ParentCircle
  • 881
  • 20
  • Nov 9, 2018


Team ParentCircle Jan 2, 2020

We need five positive interactions for each negative interaction to maintain a healthy, happy relationship. Here are 21 simple ideas you can use today to forge a closer bond with your little one.

Keerthy Muthuraman Aug 13, 2019

My 11 year old is constantly comparing himself with his friends and most of the times ends up worrying himself. Be it academics, extracurricular, talents, materialistic things etc. I am worried about this behaviour of his...pls help!!

Keerthy Muthuraman Aug 13, 2019

@Keerthy Muthuraman

Hi, though teens seem to be more affected by peer pressure than any other age group, it does exist in all age groups.

Positive peer pressure is healthy to some extent because it can motivate a person to do better, survive, and belong to the community and society that one lives in. Its not always bad that way as it can have positive impact on a persons life. For instance, if the child has a friend who helps his parents by doing chores, practices his math everyday or does something that makes him successful, then that friend might indirectly or directly have an impact on this childs life, which is very good.

Having said that, many people/elders make the mistake of comparing a child with other children and make statements like, why cant you be like him? When she could do it, why couldnt you score that high? why cant you sing like him? Look at that kid ! Learn something ...
When children hear such things, they might feel demotivated instead of feeling encouraged.
As is, there is too much competition and a lot of contests take place all the time. Whether he wins or not, give him a hug.
Its better to praise a child whenever he accomplishes something (without comparing.) Let the child know that he is perfect as he is. Give him genuine compliments whenever possible. Its better to encourage children to do their best rather than asking them to do something like somebody else does or be like somebody else. The child should understand that everybody is good at something and they are all unique in their own way. I think its a matter of time before he realises that he has his own strengths too.

You could help him make a list of all the things he is good at and hang it in his room. Write letters to him on his birthday pouring your heart out to let him know how special and important he is to you. You can put notes in his lunch box to let him know that you love him no matter what and he is the best.

Having role models becomes important too. Encourage him to read a lot about things that he really likes, which will also help him to develop confidence. He can read biographies of his favourite sport stars or other successful people, where he will learn that no two persons are alike.

As far as his wants and needs are concerned, discuss and check if his wants are reasonable. If no, then, you could communicate to let him know why he cannot have that at that point of time but be firm in your decision. Its better if he knows what your family budget is when he asks for something. Gifts and special materialistic things should be encouraged when there are special occasions like birthdays, festivals, some award ceremony, or whenever he does something well that needs encouragement.

With all your efforts, surely, as he grows older, he will discover his strengths and he will slowly grow into a confident person. All the best !

Keerthy Muthuraman Aug 16, 2019

@Keerthy Muthuraman

Building your child's self-esteem is essential for her success and development in life. Here's how you can do it.

Team ParentCircle Aug 16, 2019

@Keerthy Muthuraman

Lovely suggestion, Roopa. I am sure these will be very valuable suggestions for Keerthy!

Keerthy Muthuraman Nov 28, 2019

@Keerthy Muthuraman

Thank you so much Roopa and Team parentcircle. Your answers are very useful and I am hoping it is going to help my son and myself!

Team ParentCircle Oct 9, 2019

What will happen if we give our young children choices? Will they start to rule the roost? Or will it help them become more responsible? Read on to find out.

Team ParentCircle Sep 23, 2019

Dont entice your child with junk food or expensive gifts every time she displays good behaviour. Rewards should show your child that you really care. Here are some inexpensive reward ideas for you

Team ParentCircle Sep 16, 2019

Are you worried that your child is at a disadvantage because hes an introvert? Well, stop worrying! Introverts can be as successful as extroverts. Heres how to maximise your childs potential.

Team ParentCircle Sep 5, 2019

Do you wonder if you are teaching your child enough amidst the daily 'busyness' of life? Well, don't worry. Here's how you can incorporate 'teachable moments' in your everyday tasks and routine.

Suresh Menon Jul 17, 2019

Kanisha Jul 17, 2019

@Suresh Menon

Thanks for sharing useful information Sureshsir and Alexa. I believe loneliness is dangerous disease but 21st century humans are more dangerous to deal with. I want to be the change in preparing something new or skillful to students or innocent group so that loneliness may not cause them into depression or anxiety. Solitude -enjoying one own company is a peaceful place to be. Furthermore, use of mobile is advantageous when enrolled with ParentCircle group, Momspresso, Mompreneur Circle, StoryMirror, and so on. It's a useful informative circles to be engage in and where we can express our feelings and emotions through writing.

Vicky Jul 24, 2019

@Suresh Menon

Nice endeavour. Mr. Menon. Quite helpful and a need of the hour. Loneliness these days has become a major cause for mental ill-being among youngsters and adults, equally.

Suresh Kumar Aug 7, 2019

@Suresh Menon

Thank you for the insights Mr. Suresh Menon! It was wonderful watching your video!

Team ParentCircle Jul 15, 2019

Do you want your child to have a positive attitude to handle the ups and downs in life? Can you help him develop a positive attitude for life? Yes, you can. Read on to find out how.

Vicky Jul 17, 2019

@Team ParentCircle

I feel this is so essential in today's times. Children are exposed to so much negativity all around them, be it the news, or instances that they witness in their daily lives. Amidst all of this it is essential to inculcate positivity and optimism in our children, and what better way to do that other than from home.

Reshma Lal Jun 11, 2019

My niece is 12 years old. She is a brilliant student and a confident child. Lately she has started gaining weight due to PCOS and is getting too conscious about her appearance. My sister-in-law has tried explaining that since she is on medication her condition will get better and that she need not be conscious of her body image, but she is still quite dejected. How can we bring back her bubbly attitude?

Roopa M Jun 12, 2019

@Reshma Lal

It's so nice to see an aunt who cares and pays attention to things that may not be easily noticeable, but are very important. At such an young age , your niece may not understand, or be able to easily accept all the advice or reassurances others give, but the good thing is she is under doctor's supervision and has supportive family and friends. It takes time to see the effect of the medication and treatment. Getting her involved in activities or hobbies that she enjoys or had shown interest in will help her get through this. From anything artistic, or recreational, to finding a TV show/movie series, or book she likes, anything helps a great deal. Give her genuine occasional compliments whenever possible and highlight all her strengths and qualities. At the back of her mind she will always know how much her family loves and appreciates her. This will boost her self confidence.

Apart from all the help at home, please speak to her doctor about how she feels about her weight gain. Ask the doctor about how to help her, support her, make her feel comfortable, and develop a positive body image. The doctor might suggest talking to a counsellor or refer her to somebody who would know how to talk to a child and approach such a delicate and important issue. All this will definitely help her gain lot of self-confidence and be happy and cheerful. Hope this helps. All the Best!

K V Veena Jun 17, 2019

@Reshma Lal

Let your niece know that it is a temporary thing. Also encourage her to follow a simple fitness routine as that will bring about a sense of satisfaction in her. Make sure that she also follows a very healthy diet. I am sure she will be fine. Take care!

Team ParentCircle Jun 19, 2019

@Reshma Lal

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Team ParentCircle May 7, 2019

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Team ParentCircle Mar 29, 2019

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Team ParentCircle Mar 18, 2019

Anger is a natural emotion and is unavoidable. However, here is an interesting method of communication that helps you respond to an anger-triggering situation with your preteen in a better way.

Team ParentCircle Feb 27, 2019

Learning to lose gracefully doesnt come naturally. It has to be taught, and is learnt over the years. So, it is important that you start teaching your child early on how to lose with dignity.

Team ParentCircle Feb 22, 2019

As a parent, your everyday conversations with your son can greatly impact his thinking, as well as his interactions, with the opposite sex. After all, change really and truly does begin at home.

Team ParentCircle Jan 21, 2019

Parenting an extrovert presents some unique challenges. If your child is an extrovert, here are some tips to help you understand and support her in a better way.

Team ParentCircle Jan 16, 2019

While trying to help our children, are we paying attention to the fact that some of the things we do, as parents, may be discouraging our children?

Team ParentCircle Dec 17, 2018

The ability to reframe situations can act as a cushion against the rough and tumble of everyday life. But, do you know reframing situations can help you and your child? Read on to know all about it https://www.parentcircle.com/article/how-to-reframe-your-childs-negative-behaviour/

Team ParentCircle Dec 17, 2018

@Team ParentCircle

The ability to reframe situations can act as a cushion against the rough and tumble of everyday life. But, do you know reframing situations can help you and your child? Read on to know all about it.