Resilience in children: 7 Signs of a resilient child and how to help your child develop it

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts" - Winston Churchill

Almost every day, we come across stories of individuals who struggled against adversity, did not give in, and emerged victorious. Awestruck by their steely resolve, we try to decode what made them accomplish the feat. And, we find that they owe their success largely to a quality called Resilience.

In simple terms, resilience can be defined as the ability to never give up and recover from any setback. Therefore, it is important for parents to develop resilience in children. But to do that, parents need to know the signs of resilience in a child. Here are seven signs of a resilient child and what parents can do to encourage the key characteristics in children.

1. Develops healthy relationships : Establishing and maintaining healthy relationships goes a long way in creating a social framework which is protective and supportive. This is important to lead a happy and healthy life. Resilient children know how to develop enduring relationships.

What you can do: Show your child how to bond and interact in a better way with family members, friends, teachers and others. This will help him develop a caring and comforting network which he can fall back upon during times of distress.

2. Is self-aware: Being self-aware helps a child have a clear idea of her strengths and weaknesses, and beliefs and thoughts. This helps her perceive things around her in different ways. It also improves her problem-solving skills and helps her come up with better solutions.

What you can do: Guide your child to explore her strengths and weaknesses. Let her try to find solutions to problems on her own. Encourage her to follow her passion. And, ensure that you help build her self-esteem.

3. Displays self-control: The ability to manage emotions or exercising self-control helps a child stick to the task he is doing despite encountering distractions and adversities. A resilient child is able to manage his feelings and deal with frustrations, which helps him focus and achieve his goals.

What you can do: Help your child develop the ability to control his impulses and emotions. Encourage him to take part in activities that develop self-discipline. Playing with other children can go a long way in teaching your child how to keep his emotions under control.

4. Takes the initiative: A resilient child has a higher level of perception and can analyse a situation from different angles. This gives her a proactive mindset and the ability to take charge during difficult times. She is also more practical in her enquiry and evaluation.

What you can do: Motivate your child to not rely on someone else to solve her problems. Instead, she can take the lead. Encourage your child to ask questions. Develop her talents and problem-solving ability.

5. Accepts failures gracefully: Being resilient helps a child view failure as a stepping stone to success. This helps him accept his failures gracefully, keep a positive attitude, learn from his mistakes and not repeat them, and strive to gain success.

What you can do: Praise your child's efforts and his positive attitude, even when he doesn't succeed. Reinforce to him that failure is also a part of the learning process. Discuss with him what went wrong and encourage him to finetune his strategy and try again. Also, help your child manage his expectations and keep them realistic.

6. Has a sense of humor: A little bit of humor goes a long way in helping us deal with disappointments and keeping our morale high. A resilient child displays a sense of humor which makes her more likeable and popular. Humor also provides the child with a more socially acceptable way of expressing difficult feelings like frustration and anger.

What you can do: Imagination plays a big role in helping a child look at things in a different way. So, encourage your child to imagine something funny. You can also crack jokes and watch funny movies to help develop her sense of humor.

7. Has a growth mindset: A resilient child has a growth mindset. Therefore, he is willing to learn new skills, improve his abilities, and take advantage of opportunities that come his way. This helps him grow in not only his personal life but also succeed in academics and his professional life.

What you can do: Find out opportunities to help your child develop his abilities. Make him understand that his abilities and talents are not fixed and that he can work on them and get better with time.

Helping a child learn to be persistent yet flexible can be difficult. But with patience and time, you can help your child become resilient. Follow your instinct and our tips, and you will find that you can mould your child into an individual who is capable of taking on every challenge that life throws at him.