Answered by Team ParentCircle
My seven-year-old daughter is obsessed with makeup. I’m not a big makeup person — I have just one shade of lipstick, a kajal and an eyeliner. Recently, at a family gathering for a festival, my daughter saw my cousin, who is a makeup artist, doing the makeup for many women. Since then, my daughter has been sneaking away with my lipstick. I often see her lips smeared in a thick layer of color! Is it normal for a child to want to wear makeup? I wonder if she would want to wear makeup during festivities. Should I stop using makeup altogether?
– Mahathi
Mahathi, worried as you are, we’d like you to know that your little girl is one among many young children who finds the gleaming exteriors and mysterious contents of cosmetics irresistible. Although you’re not a “big makeup person,” your impressionable 7-year-old is probably fascinated by how makeup transforms the way you look. Maybe she even dreams of being a little version of you!
Playing with your cosmetics is the most natural thing for your child to do because little children delight in new experiences. Festivals are a time for celebration and decking ourselves up in fashionable finery. And many of us would feel incomplete without wearing makeup. We can picture how your little girl must have watched in awe as the makeup artist transformed people's faces with a few masterstrokes and a handful of cosmetics. Couple that with unending curiosity and a vivid imagination, and what do you get? Harmless copycat behavior and imitation.
Parents often ask if there’s a right age and time for young children to use makeup. We’ll let you decide after you read what we have to say about kids and makeup.
Here are a few important points to consider:
Your child’s imagination is limitless and she enjoys exploring different roles. Dressing like grown-ups could be one of her favorite roles, and surely she loves the attention it brings her. She must feel so special, what with all the compliments and looks of approval coming her way from doting adults.
To understand the fascination makeup holds for your child, try to recall the first time you tried on some makeup, no matter what age you were. Think about how you felt. Excited? Thrilled? Could your little girl be feeling the same? Well, you may never know until you ask her. It will help if you keep aside your own experiences and feelings associated with it and get to understand how she truly feels.
You could try asking your child why she’s interested in makeup. Her simple answers might surprise you. But that’s her inner world speaking to you and so you must be respectful of it. Respond with ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ to express how captivated you are by her thoughts. And as your own memories of makeup forays flood your mind, share a few of them with your child. These intimate conversations and shared secrets will build love and trust into your relationship. Within the intimacy of this sharing, your child will more willingly accept your guidance on when and where wearing makeup may not be appropriate.
While your child has fun experimenting with your lipstick, do establish a few guidelines around makeup usage, although there are no fixed rules. A lot depends on how comfortable you are, the company you keep, and your family norms. Perhaps you could set a few limits such as no makeup on regular days. To help your daughter accept this limit, you could sometimes observe no-makeup days yourself.
And yes, your child could wear light makeup for special occasions and celebrations, just enough to give her face a glow, and yet make her feel all made-up! An occasional indulgence with makeup may not be such a bad thing as long as she seeks your permission to use your makeup kit. Her fascination with makeup will last only till the next fanciful idea catches her attention.
In short, allow her to indulge in her fantasies but also firmly and gently state the limits. Just as you would do with many other behaviors she picks up from observing people.
We remember emotional experiences with great detail. The first time your child watched makeup being applied on so many faces, the mood was celebratory and upbeat. She probably associates lipstick with happy moments. Apart from the thrill of sneaking away with your lipstick, wearing it could also be your child’s attempt to relive those happy memories.
Children are so easily attracted to glossy magazine covers and advertisements staring down at them from larger-than-life billboards and posters strategically placed in the malls. Also, do be aware of the videos your child watches. Some of the children’s programs are produced by businesses that cleverly promote their products through seemingly child-friendly programs. Young children are enamored by the graphics and dialogues designed to influence their choices. Gradually, they get hooked on the products and begin to speak and dress like their favorite characters.
Talk to your child about makeup—its origins and how it has evolved over the years to gain significance today. The stories you tell her can embody the charm as well as the risks of using makeup, especially at her tender age. Admire the softness of her skin and describe how it makes her look naturally beautiful. Don’t be surprised if she runs up to the mirror to admire herself! And while she is in this lovely mood, caress her skin and tell her how it’s like a baby’s soft skin, and wouldn’t she want to keep it that way. After all, makeup could make her skin rough and dry. Then, with the most mesmerizing expression on your face, proclaim that nothing can beat the natural beauty of your child.
Some makeup products may contain harmful chemicals that cause discoloration and allergies. Your little girl’s skin is delicate, so do your best to preserve its natural glow. However, there may be occasions when makeup cannot be avoided. For example, your child may have to wear stage makeup for dance and theater performances. Make sure she uses safe and skin-friendly products. Do find recommended cleansing routines your child must follow to restore her natural skin tone and health.
Have fun and bonding moments as you and your child play around, applying makeup on each other. This will let your child know you’re open and understanding, yet firm and watchful of her.
Mahathi, are you still worried? Do you really want to give up using makeup? We hope you and your little girl will look and feel your best, with or without makeup!
Related Article
Parent • 6 Mins Read • 23.5K Views
Is your child more attached to grandparents than you? It can feel confusing and even hurtful. Here’s a gentle guide to understand why it happens and how you can strengthen your bond with your child
Pre-schooler to Parent • 8 Mins Read • 505 Views
Should children question everything? If you’re a millennial parent raising a Gen Z child, this might feel familiar. In this psychologist-written guide, understand how millennial parenting is shaping children who seek explanations, and learn how to balance communication, boundaries, and respect with confidence and clarity
Toddler to Pre-schooler • 9 Mins Read • 101.3K Views
Has your toddler or preschooler started spitting, leaving you feeling embarrassed, angry, or unsure how to respond? This article helps parents understand why children spit and shares simple, calm strategies that actually work so you can guide the behaviour without shouting, shaming, or losing your cool
