Save me the embarrassment: A guide to dealing with toddler temper tantrums

Have you ever been at a mall or a restaurant and seen the place transform from busy chatter to pin-drop silence? From everyone minding their own business to the spotlight turning on a parent and their child - all because of the child’s loud whining and screaming. Has that parent ever been you?

Toddler temper tantrums are not easy to handle at home, let alone in public. However, with a few tricks up your sleeve and commitment to the process of finding your calm, toddler temper tantrums can be resolved anywhere, anytime.

Usually, parents try to ease the tantrum by rewarding their toddlers with something they like, such as candy, chocolate or a toy. We are in such a hurry to get the child to calm down that we often do not take the time to find out the reason the child is creating such a fuss. It will be no surprise if the child continues to throw tantrums in the next couple of hours to get the same reward again.

If these scenarios sound familiar to you, don’t worry! Here are a few simple steps that will help you manage your child’s tantrums in a nurturing way.

1. Don’t Panic! When a tantrum happens in public, there are sure to be eyes turned towards you and your child. The chances are that it will stay like that for a while. Nevertheless, it might be helpful to know that several people are just looking out of concern and understanding rather than criticism. Either way, your reaction shouldn’t be based on the crowd. Treat your child’s temper tantrums similar to how you would at home.
2. Be firm but considerate: Your child needs to understand that you are in control. However, they also need to know that you understand what they are going through and will not dismiss the underlying problem they might be facing. To do this, get down at eye level with your toddler, and acknowledge whatever is putting them in a state of discomfort.
3. Don’t take the shortcut! It’s worth it: Avoid trying to calm your child down by giving a reward without acknowledging what they are going through. Rewards will tell them that they can do the same thing again to get that reward. Instead, focus on understanding what they are feeling and helping them process it.
4. Be prepared with distractions: Toddlers can be on two ends of the spectrum, either stubborn on their priorities or unfocused and indecisive on what they want. If it is the latter, it will be helpful to be prepared with distractions such as toys or comfort food for your child. You can give these to your child after you’ve voiced your stance on the situation, and your toddler is aware of what is accepted and what isn’t. If a reward is in play, it is essential that the toddler realizes the reward is for controlling their emotions and not for throwing the tantrum itself.

After all, temper tantrums are typical toddler behavior. In fact, it is a sign that your child is discovering and learning new ways to express their emotions and to determine what’s right and wrong. Showing consistency in how you treat your toddler at home and in public when they throw such tantrums will help you understand each other better!