Wellness

My kid is 18 months old and hasn’t eaten a morsel of food in the last three months. He used to eat well till 14 months and one fine morning there was this hard stop. He has become very weak and falls ill frequently due to lack of resistance. What to do?

Answered by Team ParentCircle

Dear Parent,

Having a sick child in and out of hospital can be so physically tiring and emotionally draining. You are probably working closely with the doctors to improve your child’s food intake. If there are medical reasons for his sudden disinterest in food it will probably take longer to restore his appetite. But let’s also understand your toddler as a growing child.

it can be so frustrating trying to feed an adamant toddler! From about 18 to 20 months to 2.5 years, the challenges of eating with a toddler peak. This is not 'terrible twos'. There is nothing terrible about a child finding his identity, his preferences, and his place in the world. Yes, it's hard on you, but much harder on him. However, distraction feeding is not a solution. For example, eating while watching a screen can lead to a number of problems: watching ads for processed food products increases consumption of such foods, leading to obesity. Also, eating food while focusing elsewhere leads to passive eating and ignoring of hunger and satiety cues, leading to either under-or over-eating. You could try the following strategies to help your child eat better:

• Make mealtimes a family activity, with all the family members gathering at the dinner table. If your child needs to eat earlier than other family members, sit with him while he eats, talk about the different foods on his plate, make up stories about them.
• Offer the child what you eat as a family; don’t prepare separate meals especially for him. If he refuses to eat, respect that decision. When he gets hungry after some time, offer him the same food item again.
• Don't offer him the bottle. Bottle feeding should be stopped after 1 year of age. If he wants milk, offer it to him in an open glass with or without straw, and only after meals.
• Toddlers usually hate mixed-up food and refuse to eat food they used to love like khichdi, or sambar with vegetables, or mixed veg pulao. As they begin to make sense of the world, they like things to be separate. They don't like things mixed up, and it annoys them when a carrot is touching a bean. This can be really hard if as a family you eat a lot of dishes that have mixed things or do one-pot dishes. You can either cook some food separately or through play, teach your child to separate what they like/ don't like. For instance, with your son, you could teach him to take out the veggies separate from pulao when it's not mealtime. This will make him less angry at mealtimes.
• Toddlers usually get fixated on one or two foods, usually beige/ white in color, such as just ghee and rice, or just roti, just yogurt, just boiled pasta, or just potatoes. Anything else, including vegetables, is rejected. What you can do is continue to make the other foods, and keep them where children can see, and make sure children can see others eat. It is only a phase and will tide through. You don't have to cut veggies in cute shapes or make cat faces with carrots. Relax and let your child decide.
• Toddlers can get angry when you serve foods they don't want. They might sob, scream and yell when you do this. So don’t serve him. Ask your toddler to serve himself. He is 18 months and though he may spill the food, will learn to serve herself. This makes him feel in control and makes him more likely to try what he has served himself.
• Toddlers want snacky foods or just fatty food like a big spoon of ghee or butter or coconut oil. A toddler has a busy lifestyle. They want to learn about the world, go break something, go smell something. Low-calorie food annoys them. They have an affinity to high sugar/high-fat foods. Unfortunately, this is readily available and is usually junk. So don't stock biscuits, namkeen, etc where kids can see them. You can make an exception for butter and fats because kids tend to naturally stop fatty things as they feel satisfied, but this doesn't happen with junk.
• Offer your child powdered mixed dry fruits and nuts or make dry nuts laddoo with loads of seeds and dates. This will help your child regain his strength and immunity.
• If your toddler looks at the food, yells, and asks for something very specific like 'apple', set gentle but firm boundaries. Don’t relent and give him something he yelled for. It’s hard to break that habit. Instead, be consistent and loving.
• Please take care of yourself. Your child's hospitalization and frequent illnesses may have left you feeling drained. Please remember that you can’t pour from an empty cup. Every day try to take up one activity (e.g., walking, reading a book, doing yoga, or taking care of your appearance) that doesn’t involve caring for others and also makes you feel good and relaxed.
• We wish your son a speedy recovery and hope he will soon be able to enjoy his meals.

This answer is helpful for 1 parents

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