Embracing Life After Divorce: Moving Forward with Strength, Hope, and Confidence

It was my 21st wedding anniversary recently. Although I didn't celebrate 21 years of marriage, I celebrated the true love and happiness that I'm experiencing these days in the company of my children, friends and parents.

It still feels strange to talk about divorce because I never imagined it would happen to me. When you've been married for over 20 years and have four children, it isn't an ideal situation. When I was contemplating it, I was told that I would be lonely for the rest of my life and that with four kids in tow, no one would ever want to be with me again! Overall, I was made to believe that my future after divorce would be very bleak, lonely, and extremely depressing.

Divorces are hard on children, whatever their age. It becomes harder if they are teenagers, like my eldest, or if they are too young to understand, like my youngest, who is 8 years old. Like all moms, I wanted to protect my children from the bitterness of a divorce.

Making my children feel loved and valued

In terms of explaining divorce to my children, they already knew from certain situations and issues at home that things were not great. I did talk to them about what was going on. The kids are coping very well, although I do understand it's something that will take time and some adjustment.

I tried my hardest to be there for my children, for their every need. We bonded over cooking and numerous discussions around it. Food always brings a lot of positive vibes to households, and I felt that I had succeeded in lifting my kids' spirits.

The other day, my 8-year-old gifted me a handpicked bouquet from his school, with a handwritten note. My children made me feel special on my birthday. They arranged the dining table with an array of my favorite goodies. And we all went out to dinner when my eldest one turned 20 recently. All these little gestures make me believe in myself.

Rediscovering myself, and staying positive.

The real shift came when I started to believe in myself. I closed off that side of my life (self-doubt and negativity) and focused on the positive side of things. I paid attention to the areas of my life that I thought could impact me positively. I created my social media profile and invested myself in a business that I started from scratch. I remained open and true to my children and myself. Participating in charity, meditating, and reading an awful lot of self-help books ensured my strong mental health during the divorce process.

Removing the stigma of divorce

A couple of days into my divorce hearing, I was asked to take part in a photoshoot for an award-winning art project called Asking For It, which highlights and changes opinions toward historical and current tendencies of victim-blaming, especially in cases of sexual and gender-based violence.

The image above, although not my favorite look, is something I feel proud to have sported for the meaning it conveys.

Soon, I moved on from the bitterness, for my children's sake and my own. Now, I look forward to the future. I am hosting a series called Sarah Meets, which tells the inspiring stories of businesses led by entrepreneurs from diverse backgrounds. I also have a channel where I use humor to showcase the many toxic family situations women in Asian communities face.