Lockdown Has Helped Fathers Like Me Bond With Our Kids

Most people will remember Shreyas Talpade mainly for his portrayal of a cricket-obsessed lad, who is hard of hearing and beats the odds to finally play for Team India, in the coming-of-age movie, Iqbal (2005). He wowed critics and audiences alike with his performance while sharing screen space with all-time greats like Naseeruddin Shah and the late Girish Karnad. The film didnt go unnoticedit won a National Film Award for Best Film on Other Social Issues in the same year. The 45-year-old actor, who started his acting career in Marathi television, soon began starring in many popular Bollywood movies, such as Dor, Welcome to Sajjanpur, Farah Khans Om Shanti Om and Rohit Shettys Golmaal series. In the summer of 2018, Shreyas and his wife, Deepti, were blessed with a baby daughter, Aadya, and family and his OTT* venture are keeping him quite busy ever since.

In this exclusive interview with ParentCircle, Shreyas shares.

Q So, Shreyas, what have you been doing this lockdown?

Well, since the first phase of last years lockdown, Ive been working on a new venture, Nine Rasathe first-ever OTT platform dedicated to theater and the performing arts. The idea was to help the theater fraternity, as theaters were shut and the professionals associated with live shows were affected by the lockdown. While helping the fraternity remains Nine Rasas core mission, we felt theres a bigger need to reach out to millions of people worldwide by showcasing the plays and skits performed on the stage. We launched the platform in April and its getting fantastic traction!

Q Youve been in theater for a long time. Do you think theater helps develop a childs personality?

Undoubtedly, yes. Take myself for example. I was an introvert and low on confidence. I wasnt a part of our school cricket team, I wasnt someone whod even raise his hand to ask a question in the classroom. Then, theater happened and things changed. When youre rehearsing a play, youre still trying to figure out your role in the scheme of things, and suddenly, youre up on the stage. You have butterflies in your stomach, you dont know how the audience will react. Then you start saying your lines, and you see these people laughing, clapping, accepting you. When people start cheering for you, your confidence gets a boost and you think, Okay, Im not as bad as I think Im.

Theater has shaped the personalities of countless peoplethey came out of their shell or managed to fight depression because of theater. I tell every youngster who wants to get into acting, Dedicate a couple of years of your life to theater because till you do that, youll never know how much it will benefit you.

Q Youre a father now. Will you let your daughter perform in theater?

Oh yeah, absolutely. Id love it if she develops an interest in theater. Now, shes just 3, with a mind of her own. We let her decide certain things for herself. Already she has started saying things like, No, Dada, not this or Dont do that.

When I was a kid, I was pretty dependent on others. I dont want my kid to be like that. The most important thing that theater teaches a child is teamwork. Plus, there are no inhibitions or apprehensions about anything when you take the stage. When I was in college, I acted in a play where my character had to go on the stage wearing a dhotiand it came off! I managed to take it in my stride and move on to the next scene. Theater builds character. You learn to deal with things and move on to the next scene, next act, next play

Q Do you plan to take Nine Rasa to children?

Yes, were planning to introduce a segment dedicated to kids. We would like children to find their purpose in life through theater. They may even learn about ethics and kindness by watching childrens plays. Although I cant reveal the names now, there are a couple of high-profile internationally known teachers who will be associating with us to ensure that we get the right content mix for kids on our platform.

I want children to own this platformkids from various schools are already involved in planning the content lineup, and we want more young theater lovers to start exploring this platform.

Q Thats quite a journey youre planning there! Talking of journeys, how has your life changed since becoming a dad?

It has been an amazing journey. We became parents long before our baby was born, when our two LabradorsDon and Knightentered our lives. Being a pet parent is a huge responsibility and requires a lot of commitment. Ive come across people who abandon pet dogs as young as 3 months oldits heart-wrenching. If youre planning on being pet parents, please ensure that youre ready for that kind of commitment.

Don and Knight taught us so much that when our daughter, Aadya, was born, we were confident about certain things. But we did struggle a bit in the beginning, and now we are all in the midst of a pandemic. Usually, when your child turns 2, she starts going to preschool or playschool and other places where she interacts with other kids and learns many things on her own. Now, because of the lockdowns, the challenge is how do we keep her engaged at home. Unfortunately, she doesnt have friends, as there arent too many kids in our building for her to play with. Plus, because of the second wave, its becoming increasingly difficult for us to take her out, even for a walk.

So, my wife Deepti and I watch a lot of kids activities online, and try to do those with our toddler. You have to be extremely patient with kidsthis is a lesson I learned. I hope this pandemic ends soon and schools start so that Aadya can make friends, interact with other people and understand what others feel. These are very important factors, you cant raise a child in isolation. The pandemic has brought with it new challenges for all parents, but I know every young parent is trying to stay sane and do the right things.

when I see Aadya smile at me, I can feel all my tension, problems and anger melting away

Q What kind of parents are you and your wife?

Deepti is more patient with Aadya than me. I tend to get worked up pretty soon. I must admit she also loses it at times, and thats when I become the patient one. Theres one parenting rule we have agreed upon: Both of us are not going to get angry with our daughter at the same time. I may get angry in an instant, but I also quickly realize that its not her fault. She hasnt seen anything or anyone apart from us. Obviously, shes quite dependent on us at the moment. So, just as my wife and I never go to bed angry, we have this thing that if one of us is angry, the other will stay cool.

Parenting is difficult, trust me. When people say, Aww Your child is so sweet, my mind goes, Come and stay with us for three days, please, and youll know! (laughs) But joking apart, when I see Aadya smile at me, I can feel all my tension, problems and anger melting away. When she comes running and hugs and kisses me, its the best feeling in the world! Whatever the challenges are, I cant bear to see my child cry. Ill do everything I can to keep her happy.

Q To wrap up, the one positive thing in these two years is that the pandemic has brought families closer. What has been your experience?

Honestly, I dont feel much has changed for me because Ive not been into too much socializing or parties or going out and things like that. Whenever I would travel for work, Deepti would travel with me. And when Im not working or shooting, I like to stay homereading, or watching films with Deepti. With Aadyas arrival, whatever time I get, I spend it with my family. In fact, for a couple of shoots, even Aadya has traveled with us.

So, Ive always been very comfortable with my family around me. One fine day, out of the blue, I dont say to myself, Arrey, abhi ghar pe baitna hai, abhi family ke saath time spend karna hai (Okay, I have to stay home now, spend time with my family). Ive always known that my family is my world. Ive always enjoyed spending time with my wife and child, so Im alright. I think if we know our priorities, then nothing can affect the love and affection we have for our family.

I was happy sitting at home, chilling, eating, putting on weight and spending maximum time with Aadya. But I do know that the lockdown has helped many fathers like me bond with our kids. Ive heard many of my friends say that unfortunately, theyve only seen their kids sleeping because kids are asleep when they leave to work and are already in bed when they return home at night. It happens to working fathers. By the time they get some time to bond, the kids are all grown up and have their own life. So, the time Ive got now helps me bond with my daughter, and Im grateful for that. Yes, shes closer to her mother at the moment, but I will change that equation very soon!

*Over-the-top (OTT) platforms give viewers direct access to media content via internet.