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    3. Too attached to a toy - Please Help!

    Behaviour

    Behaviour

    Too attached to a toy - Please Help!

    My 4 son and his monkey soft toy are inseparable. He doesnt even give it to me for washing. He carries it almost everywhere. Should I be concerned? ... more

    Comments

    Arundhati Swamy Dec 4 2017

    Hi. Yes, it is annoying when you can't wash the monkey soft-toy, or when you must be extra cautious to see that it does not get misplaced left behind. Because dealing with your childs distress can be very tiring. Apart from these inconveniences for yourself, lets look at the inconveniences your son would experience when he is separated from his soft-toy.
    Firstly, its normal for children to be attached to a toy or object, between ages 2 and 5 years. As he grows and explores his physical and social environment, the toy gives him a sense of security. It feels like an anchor for feeling safe with something familiar and comforting. Separation from the toy could make him feel uncomfortable. Children are known to have conversations with their toys. Its their way of talking about their feelings, learning through imitation and practicing language skills. Most importantly, your child is learning about attachments which he will later transfer to building relationships with other people in his life. Children usually outgrow the habit gradually, by spending less time with the toy, taking it to a few select places, and clinging to it only when very tired or deeply upset about something. As he grows to feel confident within himself, his dependency on the toy will diminish.
    However, we also need to look at the practicality of the matter washing the toy! You could try a few strategies which would involve him, such as suggesting it has a bath along with him, or doing washing-time together where you also wash one of your favourite things. Let him know that you understand how valuable his soft toy is and treat it with respect.
    When to be concerned when a child clings to the toy and does not show interest in playing with other children or toys. There could be something else going on that needs to be addressed.

    Sindhu Dec 4 2017

    Does he involve in other activities, does he interact with peers or is it always just him and the toy? Most often, children have such objects that they hold dear and they will snap out of it. But if your child does nothing with anyone else and its all about the toy, then you may want to try setting some limits. My daughter is 2 and she likes her toys but is not attached to anything in particular. But I wonder, what it really is about. Will read up on this.

    Anish varma Dec 3 2017

    Yes. It is a concern. too much of play with a soft-toys make children isolating from others. They will NOT mingle or interact with others. When some one comes home, they will ran away and hide, they don't like being introduced to others. As Parents, we can get a soft toy but make sure the kid shouln't get addicted. Now a days, just to avoid being in the gadget, parents allowing them to play with soft toys, this is very dangerous. These are the symptoms when kids play with soft-toys for a long time. It happened to my kid once, we told her a story that the toy didn't like you as you kept playing with all the time and to take rest it disappeared. My son got a fever for three days as he couldn't come out the grief that he lost it. We were in a dilemma whether we can return to him, but we want our kid to be normal moving and interacting with others. Hence decided to live with the fever for a few days, we diverted him taking to other places and slowly he forgot the toy. He coulnd't sleep for more than week. It took extra 2 hours to make him sleep. End of the day it is all good.

    Anish varma Dec 3 2017

    @Anish varma Those pointers are really valuable!!

    Anish varma Dec 4 2017

    @Anish varma I had no idea it was a serious problem!

    Devi Dec 2 2017

    Try to replace with a new one of same texture and involve him in the wash of the monkey and tell him it would get sick of it doesnt take bath. It is better to replace with a new one and ask him to give a spot in his room so that the toy can be safe when he is away. Pls ensure him that the monkey will be safe in his room when he is away. First you need to have a conversation with him to reduce the timing together with the toy and use another one. It will take time dont push, nothing to panic its an attachment which gives secured feel. Try to play without the toy with him and let him enjoy so slowly he will come out of the habit.

    Devi Dec 3 2017

    @Devi Good pointers devi!!