Have questions in your parenting journey? Feel free to post them here and you will receive answers from experts and other parents. You can also post anonymously. So ask and share!
A group of techies have created a website which has all the comprehensive information that you need (Bangalore specific) related to COVID-19 : The website has information about fever clinics, oxygen cylinders , COVID hospitals, ambulance services, bed availability, guidelines, govt orders and notifications etc www.covidhelplinebangalore.com Please keep it handy and share with your Bangalore friends and family.
@Roopa Thank you for sharing this Roopa!
Some of the best memories of childhood involve playing with grandad. Not only does engaging in any activity strengthen the bond between the two but it promotes good health as well.
Mental illness in children can manifest in the form of extreme mood swings, aloofness or feelings of sadness. Here is how you can identify the telltale signs.
You remain glued to the TV when your child is speaking to you, check messages at mealtimes, update social media during family outings chances are, you are a distracted parent.
Doing yoga has several health benefits. Learn about the importance and benefits of yoga asanas for children. Also see a list of easy-to-do yoga poses for kids that you and your child can do together.
Your childs doodles are not just a waste of time. Read on to know the many benefits of doodling.
Looking for a fun way to improve your childs memory power and concentration? Here is a list of the top 10 memory games for kids.
Are you worried about your childs forgetful nature when it comes to studies and exams? Fret not! Here are six super brain foods that can help boost your childs memory. Find out what they are!
Is your mind brimming with questions as your child prepares to write the upcoming exams? Let our FAQ guide answer all your questions.
We arent strangers anymore to the news of suicides by students of coaching centres in Kota, the coaching capital of India. But, what desperation drives young, hardworking minds to end their lives?
@Team It is actually so scary to see how pressurised our children are. My little one is 3 and I feel scared of the peer pressure that he will be exposed to. Even though we might try to normalise the situation at home but we do not know what might happen in school or tuitions. Reminds me of the Quora question asked by the mother of a very young kid about when she should start preparing her child for IIT/NIT entrance exams.
@Team I recollect reading that post too. I got it as forward message and it just makes me realise how we parents are to be blamed for the snatching our childrens childhoods.
Just wanted to share a small incident that I witnessed this weekend. I had gone to KSR Railway station to pick my daughter up from the station. While I was awaiting the arrival of her train, I noticed this smiling little boy of about 14 or 15 helping an old couple with their luggage while they were finding it difficult to get off the the train. The old couple smiled at him, blessed him and looked so relieved to receive his help. This incident just reaffirms my hope that the next generation of children our going the right way.
@K Nice to read. Thanks for sharing :)
@K This is so nice to read. Being from Bangalore, I too keep complaining how the city and its people have changed. But, these small acts of kindness forces me to change my thoughts!
@K Wowwww! Such a nice little kid. And, it is also reflective of the role played by the parents and his surroundings. Very good it feels to read about these little acts of kindness. Also, it is the Joy of Giving week from tomorrow onwards. So let us all extend our compassion and warmth with all around us.
Social media is a hit among todays teens. But no social networking site sustains their interest for long, as teens make capricious choices. Here are five changing trends in teens social media usage.
Parenting teens is challenging, as theyre riding an emotional and physical roller-coaster. Read on to know about some teen health concerns.
We worship Lord Ganesha as Vinayak (the leader) and Vighnaharta (the destroyer of obstacles), and there are many values that all of us, especially children, can learn from him.
My child is in class 5. He is a very good student and also active in extracurricular activities. However, lately he has been stressing a lot about his half yearly exams which starts from 20th September. To calm him down I have also registered him for a two day dramatics workshop as he loves theatre. But he is very tensed. We have even tried explaining things to him and we do not pressurize him. Why is he so stressed?
@Team Hi, we usually use the word study so many times that preparing for exams can feel like moving a mountain for a child. Learning is supposed to be fun. Unfortunately children are judged based on their scores. At school they usually have a ranking system or they talk in terms of who are the class toppers. Some children strive very hard to get a better rank and be appreciated by the teachers and parents. As far as healthy competition goes, it is good to be influenced by the toppers and achievers as this will help them to focus and they will work hard. As a mom, you have noticed that he is tensed. Its great that you have understood that he is stressed and want to help him build his confidence. A child needs that support and understanding from a mom in order be happy and reach full potential. Please speak to your child and tell him that everybody can do only their best and he should just focus on doing his best. Tell him that you will be fine with whatever the result is. Let him understand that there is always a next time and he is just in 5th std. He should realize that there will be lot more exams and tests coming his way and he will get better with each one. From your side, try to make learning fun as much as possible when he is revising at home. If he doesnt understand something, repeat as many times as possible or find alternate methods of teaching him. Try to use relaxing and calming words as he is already stressed. Find out which are the subjects that he really enjoys and check if he needs extra help with some subjects. There is lot of help available on the net. He can learn math concepts easily from some videos online. Make sure he reads a lot. This will help him to improve his vocabulary and sentence formation and he will be able to understand his subjects well. Motivate him and build his confidence by praising him when he does well and be sensitive to his feelings whenever he struggles with any subject. Words are very powerful. They can affect young minds. Let him hear positive words and also try to remind him of all the times when he did well. Let him eat nutritious meals and get a good nights sleep every day. With all your efforts and guidance, his mind will relax a bit and he will reach his full potential. All the Best:)
@Team It is a pressure that he has created for himself as he is growing older and more responsible. He is also feeling the pressure because he is a well-performing student. It is great that you have discerned the stress in your child. Just keep reassuring him that it is important to work hard and be sincere, but not at the cost of his mental and physical health. Let him know that his well-being and happiness matters most to you!
@Team This exam season, you and your child do not have to go through the usual stress that accompanies it. We bring you tips from experts on how to help your child deal with exam-related anxiety.
PV Sindhu serves yet another winning shot! The ace shuttler won the Badminton World Championship 2019 in a smashing finish. Here are 7 characteristics of Sindhu that you can instill in your child!
There are various reasons for stress in children. Here are the common causes and the eight ways stress can affect your child.
What is your take on children being given personal cell phones even when they have not reached high school?
@Kavita I feel young children need not be given mobiles at an impressionable age. For school-related work or for communication they can use their parents phones. As parents we ensure that the phone has parental controls in place, but children out of curiosity may land up in sites which may be harmful. Once the child is older say in high school, a phone may be given just for communication purposes as they attend multiple tuitions and extracurricular classes.
We all know about the goodness of milk. But, how can we assume that the milk our children consume is safe? How much do we really know about milk? This article will explain.
How to keep my son of 6 years about good and bad touch? I am slightly clueless.
@Pragatii There is useful information in this link. This might help you : https://www.parentcircle.com/circle-topic/good-touch-bad-touch-workshop-for-children-and-parents-7d394/
@Pragatii It is so heartening to see that you want to teach your son about good touch and bad touch. I think the approach should be similar to the one we use our girl children. Being open, enquiring about the happenings at school in a friendly manner, understanding why they are averse to some people (is there a reason that they dislike or fear certain people), etc.
@Pragatii Sexual abuse during childhood causes severe psychological trauma to a child. Here are some tips on what to keep in mind while educating your child about protecting herself from being abused.
The draft National Education Policy (NEP) 2019 has got the nation thinking! How can you contribute towards a better education system? Read about the policy and submit your feedback online. Learn more!
Does anybody have experience staying in boarding school or hostel? How was it to stay away from home for studies ? how did you prepare for it? Share your experience if possible. Itll be interesting and informative to read.
@Roopa This is such an interesting discussion. Kudos for the initiative, Roopa!
@Roopa Ive just stayed one year in hostel, after which I have stayed away from home. But the first year has always been a memorable one with a lot of learnings. I would say, hostel or staying away from home experience is something everyone should have at some point in their lives, as this will throw a lot of challenges and opportunities from which we all learn. Mine wasnt easy, but it is definitely worth it. That experience has helped me survive anywhere else thereafter. Initially, when I knew I was going to hostel, it seemed like a very exciting thing to stay away from home, which means no rules and staying independent. The initial few days/ weeks were totally different from what I expected. I missed family and home and I had no one whom i knew near me.so it was very difficult.but I did tailor my mind to adjust to this change and that it would help me learn a lot. This one year taught me to be independent, confident, a good friend of myself, taught me about different people, how to help yourself, how to live with others, how to manage your own life and much more! My first experience taught me a lot, that my subsequent years staying away from home have been much easier.
@Roopa Hostel experience has been the best part of my life so far. Ive stayed over 6 years of my life in boarding school and dorms. These experiences havent always been happy and healthy. Ive faced all bad experiences here and learnt the best life lessons also here. Ive made people who are still with me and I dont think id have got all of these without my hostel experience. Ive been bullied, i have been taken advantage of by peers, i have been independent, i have fallen sick and have had instances where i had to be alone and instances where everyone else have helped me so much. I have found new interests, I have taken risks, I have learnt to be my own companion and I have learnt from a lot of people around me. While it was difficult to stay away from family, I think it was worth it.
@Roopa Thank you team. Thank you Komal and Keerthi.
Dr.Muffazal delves into the spectrum of colors in food and emphasizes on what to have and what not to have. He stresses the importance of greens, the whites that you should avoid, the browns that are worthwhile, and the foods that are a definite no-no. Dr Muffazal Lakdawala is the founder of Digestive Health Institute, Mumbai, which is the first Indian Centre for Excellence in Bariatric Surgery. He is the Chairman of the Institute of Minimal Invasive Surgical Sciences & Research Centre, Saifee Hospital, Mumbai and the President of International Federation for the Surgery of Obesity and Metabolic Disorders - Asia Pacific chapter. Watch this video to know more>>>>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5g70xfAPyz4
Hi. I would like to know how best I can help my child in pursuing his passion. Schools have reopened and I can see most of his time just going on in doing school work. He is stressed and is unhappy most of the times. He likes to play badminton, play his guitar, but he hardly gets time to do these during weekdays and its bothering him a lot. How can i help him find a balance? He is in his 10th grade.
@Keerthy Considering that it hasnt been very long since schools have reopened, its honestly very good that your child is getting ahead of school work and studying. The key to preparing for finals is doing a little bit every day. I can promise, that something that will really reduce you and your childs stress is keeping up on all schoolwork given, and fitting in productive, smart studying. This will really give him free time to commit to any extracurricular he has a passion for, along with school. It really is all about time management. He will find that he has time for doing the things he loves if he stays up to date on his assignments and does any homework/practical work the day it is given or if he finishes as much as he can in class itself. Something important to take into consideration is that, his anxiety will decrease if he knows he has support and encouragement from his parents. Sitting down with him and helping him plan out minor schedules, and just being there for him should help him a great deal. All the Best :-)
@Keerthy Dear parent, kudos to you for giving your child the space and freedom to pursue his passions, instead of only pressuring him to study. Not many parents are able to find that balance when it comes to their children (esp. when the child is in a board year!) Hobbies and passions are extremely important to pursue, no matter what stage of life, since they aid in personal growth and help us develop new skills. You could help your son balance his academics and hobbies in the following ways: 1. Help him draw a home time-table (with time slots for meals and rest) with his most productive time accounted for. For example, if he is most productive in the evenings, he should schedule his schoolwork then. Accordingly then, he could utilise 1 hour every week in the afternoon (maybe after coming back from school, when he needs to unwind) for playing his guitar. 2. It is important to schedule in physical activity and exercise in this time-table but the timing is important. Would it be feasible to build in 1 hour of playing on a weekend and 1 hour on a weekday when the homework is comparatively less? If he plays badminton regularly, he will realise that he is able to concentrate on schoolwork much better, which in turn saves time. 3. Help him fight off procrastination. If studying for a test or revising a chapter needs to be done, help him understand how procrastinating that would make it even more difficult to do later. If he revises a chapter when its still fresh in his memory, it will consume much less time and practicing doing this will help him in the long run. 4. Build in a rest day. Everyone needs rest to rejuvenate themselves and to keep themselves motivated. Encourage your son to build in a rest day (it could be a weekday or a weekend) which will help build the strength to handle pressure of the remaining week. 5. Check time-robbers. Checking our mobile phones for app notifications consumes more time than we realise. It is much smarter to even schedule social media/e-connecting with friends time in your home time-table, or to engage in these distractions in breaks, so that this time is accounted for and doesnt end up being wasted. One way of doing this is to simply keep ones mobile switched off or in another room while studying. Another is to catch up with messages and notifications while commuting. 6. Focus on your body. A healthy diet and at least 7-8 hours of quality sleep is very important (and often that adolescents overlook). 7. Keep the connection with your child going. Allow him to believe that he has scope to make mistakes. Praise him for his effort, rather than for the outcome--it will keep him motivated. All the best!
Do lychees contain fatal toxins? What is hypoglycaemia? Can we feed lychees to our children? To answer all these questions and more, ParentCircle talks to experts to understand better.
The readily available coconut is a fruit that provides extraordinary health benefits. Heres what consuming tender coconut water every day can do to your health.
We (as a parent) did not do a few things right. How do we course correct/rectify?
@Team Dear parent, its appreciative that you want to rectify your mistakes. There is no perfect human being and no perfect parent. The good news is that your child doesnt need a perfect parent, he needs you! The first things to remember and practice is self-regulation. If you stay calm and attentive, you can respond to your child from a place of love. If you do end up losing control, apologise to your child. Model repair and humility in your relationship with your child. That is an invaluable life lesson, much more so than a parent who never loses her cool. Focus on re-connecting with your child. Even when (especially when!) hes displaying strong emotions and negative behaviour. He needs you to be the adult, he needs you to listen to him, really listen without judgment, and empathise with his feelings. This takes courage and patience, but responding to your child with love, even when he is at his worst, helps you stay connected with him. Express your own emotions appropriately. You could say something like I can see youre upset. I understand how difficult it must be for you right now. Im here for you. This will teach your child to express his emotions appropriately. You dont have to have all the answers. You dont have to fix your child or yourself. All you have to do is stay present and choose love, instead of fear. Even at this point, when you and your child are in a calmer state, you could bring up a mistake you have made in the past by talking about it to your child. You could say something like Im sorry I shouted at you the other day. I was tired after work and got frustrated when you kept insisting on eating pasta. I shouldnt have shouted at you. How did you feel? The idea is to rectify and repair your mistake by talking about it and give the child a chance to explain himself. It is then that you can empathise with your child and say, I understand how upset you felt. You apologising to your child will teach him that its healthy to apologise after making mistakes, and that no one is infallible.
My mother passed away recently and both my 8-year-old son and 4-year-old daughter were very attached. While my son knows she wont be back, my daughter expects her to be back. Advice on how to help my daughter understand. My son hasnt spoken about his feelings regarding the same. I want to know/understand how he is feeling.
@Team Kids share a special bond with their grandparents. Therefore, when a grandparent is very ill, it can be hard on your child. As parents, there are ways you can ease this for him. Find out how.
Most oft quoted sentence was this is how we were raised. Just wanted to check what has changed between when we were children vs when we are parents. Why should parenting evolve with time?
@Team You take pride in being a modern parent. But, when you look back at your own childhood, were your parents just as modern? Does your parenting style reflect your experiences as a child?
Toddlers are quite a handful, especially during the holidays and weekends. If youre wondering how to engage your toddler without losing your mind, youre reading the right article
Child being introvert is something to worry about?
@Team Being an introvert in todays exhibitionist world can be a drawback. Equip your child with skills necessary to help him thrive successfully.
How do you deal with a situation when the child sometimes responds to your request but sometimes you have to scold them?
@Team As parents, we all go through stressful situations, daily. Making a conscious effort to understand what you are feeling and why, will help your child too deal with strong emotions in a healthy manner.
What are the things that you should do when the child is a bit adamant?
@Team Stubbornness and toddlers go together, and dealing with a stubborn child can be stressful for parents. If youre the parent of a stubborn toddler, here are some tips to handle his stubbornness.
Irrespective of how we behave at home, children pick up certain behaviours at school. For example, my child realised the concept of a slap only from other kids at school. We had never used the word at home. What does one do in such situations?
@Team Children are born with an innate ability to learn language. However, learning to differentiate between good and bad words takes time. So, along with good words, they pick up a few bad ones as well.
My friend and I are moving to Bangalore for setting up our business along with our kids. My son is 5 and her daughter is 4.5. Please suggest good buzzing areas in Bangalore where we can start off our business from home as well as connected to schools and other facilities nearby. Thanks.
@Komal It is good idea to start a business in or around Koramangala. It is a super busy place with some great office spaces available on rent. Also there are some good schools like Orchid International. National Public School and Bethany among many others. Also there are some nice recreational parks and Cubon Park is at 8 kms from Koramangala and the Lakshmi Devi Park is also a wonderful place for children, in Koramangala.
@Komal Hi Komal. It is lovely that you and your friend want to set up a business from home. Another very interesting thing is, Bangalore often has these fairs and Melas where young entrepreneurs set up stalls and these are places which see lakhs and lakhs of the prospective audience. Keep record of the upcoming exhibitions and events in the city so that you can showcase your business to a larger audience as well :)
Having been brought up in Bangalore, I feel very sad that the entire atmosphere of the city has changed. Firstly, it is no more the Garden City I had known. It is so polluted and consists of huge concrete structures everywhere. People have become too busy to care for anything else, and it is not their fault too. But I want to know if it is me alone who feels this way or is it the same feeling that everyone harbours?
@K I am living in Bangalore for the past 37 years, and believe me, it has changed. But, people are still very helpful, just that as you are saying that we have become too busy. And, our children will definitely not see the beauty of the city the way we had seen it as kids.
Many parents consider getting their children to bed on time, one of their biggest challenges. Do you also have regular night-time battles with your child? Find out how you can make your life easier.
Children are vulnerable to the effects of trauma or post-traumatic stress disorder. Therefore, watch out for symptoms of this condition.
Is your little one complaining of neck pain? It is often caused by a muscle strain or an injury. If the pain is tolerable, you can help in relieving the pain at home. Read on to know how.
How to address behavioural issues in kids between 2-5 years?
@Team Has your little one been acting up of late? Dont fret, it could be a passing phase. Read on to find out how to cope while ensuring that unacceptable behaviour patterns dont become habitual.
One of my students is not interested in any of the competitions, very slow in speaking and writing. Although he is very bright he doesnt like to do things fast, which makes him lose time, marks in exam, and also makes him look like a slow child. (8 yr old boy)
@Team Dear teacher, I applaud your concern for your student! Being slow could be due to a number of reasons: does the child have a specific learning disability (SLD), or is the child demotivated (again, could be due to a number of reasons), or does he have an unsupportive or a disturbed family environment? You could, on a priority basis, get an SLD assessment done for the child from NIMHANS or any other Special Educator trained in doing such assessments. Let us know if you would like us to suggest any names to you. The assessment report is likely to indicate a possible direction for intervention. If the assessment report does not indicate SLD, we could take up exploration of other underlying reasons. Kindly stay in touch with us through the ParentCircle platform. All the best!
As a teacher I would like to help my students and their parents deal with certain behavioural problems. Is it ok for me to get involved?
@Team Dear teacher, its very understandable that you are concerned about your students behavioural problems. If the behavioural problems are occurring within the school context and impacting not just the target student but his peers as well, you have every right to involve the parents of the target child. In fact, as you know, a healthy partnership between the teachers, parents, and students is the foundation of a good education. When you involve the parents, however, do keep the following in mind: Be prepared for the parents to be in denial or be defensive about their childs issues. So, avoid blaming or accusing anyone, including the child, and open the meeting with sharing your concern and its consequences for other students. Describe the problem clearly, encourage input from both the parents and the child, brainstorm all possible ideas to tackle the situation, choose a solution by consensus, and develop a plan. Always focus on the solutions; avoid criticizing the child or her parents. Encourage the student to talk about her perspective in front of her parents. With these steps, you will definitely be able to help your student and hopefully, nip the behavioural problem in its bud. All the best!
Dear All, I have an 8 year old son, who is very innocent and very very naughty, also strong and hyper active. its been this whole year his class teacher is handling him in a nice way all these months in school, but recently I could feel my son is not talking a word about his teacher which he usually does, even when he had to clear his subject problem he continuously postponed to ask solution and clear. thus made me suspicious, without letting know what the teacher as well as Mya child about all this, I told the teacher to clear his doughts, then the teacher said as she has shouted at him in class, he has stopped going to her. coming back home when I checked with my child, firstly he was very stubborn to answer, then slowly he said the story also said that the teacher has said all other children to stop talking to him, and to get along with him. how to handle both ( teacher & my child) please help me
@Menaka Dear parent, it sure is a tricky situation between your son and his teacher. However, you can use this opportunity as a teachable moment for your son. Firstly, you can ask your son why the teacher scolded him. Did he make a mistake or was she in a bad mood? Then explain to your son that the teacher herself told you that she had scolded him. Help him understand that sometimes when we want to say something, its ends up coming out harsher than what we intended, and that the teacher didnt intend to be harsh to him. Secondly, ask him why would the teacher say to others not to talk to him. What would be the teachers intention in alienating your son? Ask your son to clarify this misunderstanding with his class-mates and be friends with them again. If your child insists that the teacher has indeed asked others not to talk to him, you could arrange a meeting with the teacher and your son to clarify this issue face-to-face. Youll be teaching your son a valuable lesson in conflict management by dong this. All the best!
Is your child down with persistent cough? Worried about your childs rashes? These may be more than simple cases of cold or an allergy. They may be signs of an airborne disease like flu or chickenpox.
Do you know that your childs mental health is equally important for his overall well-being? Dont ignore signs of the mental illness in your child. Read on know all about mental health of your child.
I have one student who is more inclined toward money, big house, and other possessions. How do I approach this child? (7 yr old girl)
@Team Dear teacher, I understand how difficult it might be to deal with a child inclined toward materialistic pursuits. There are many ways in which you can deal with this child: Tell stories with moral values (for example, stories that convey how money or possessions dont ensure happiness) to the entire class, without singling out this child. Itll be a good idea to start with a story every day before your lesson. Also, consider leaving out the ending of some stories and encourage the class to come up with an appropriate ending. Encourage all the children of your class to volunteer. For example, you could organise a trip to an orphanage wherein the children donate their old toys and clothes. Encourage the childs parents to limit her screen-time. The advertisements only serve to fuel the consumeristic brainwashing and stir up discontent in children who get up-to-date with the latest toys and gadgets. Focus your efforts on teaching children social skills and empathy. These crucial life skills go a long way in helping children see issues from the perspective of others and also think critically about ones own behaviours (without feeling blamed).
How to understand child psychology in a better way?
@Team Dear parent, Understanding child psychology doesnt have to be an uphill task. It requires sensitivity, openness, and understanding to become aware of and accept your childs temperament. Understanding child psychology begins with understanding that every child will develop in the following areas - the physical (muscle and bone development, movement), social (interactions with other children and people), cognitive (thinking, imagination), and emotional development (learning to name emotions and recognize his own emotions and in other people). It is important to have age-appropriate expectations of your child. You can start by identifying how your child usually responds to different situations (e.g., is he shy or does he take the lead?), to challenges (e.g., does he give up easily or does he persist?), to routines (e.g., does he take well to changes or displays difficulty in transitioning from one activity to another?), etc. You can then identify which strategies are likely to help him. For example, if transitions between activities are hard on your child, you could consider making a chart indicating activities in a sequence, each represented by a colourful picture or drawing. You could also read parenting books such as The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J Siegal & Tina Bryson and read parenting articles on www.parentcircle.com. Please remember that parenting isnt necessarily intuitive and its okay if you dont know how to handle some of the challenging situations or issues that come up in this journey its all about learning to be better ourselves.
How to make balance between my 2 kids. Both their mind sets are different.
@Team Most shy children usually prefer to remain on the side-lines. Heres how you can help your child overcome his shyness and feel more confident.
Creating a responsible child especially when the whole world is not a bed of roses. How to raise as per situation?
@Team Dear parent, Instilling responsibility in a child is not difficult, especially when the parent does it in small ways every day. Children who are not responsible grow up to become entitled and believe that others should always do things for them. You can instil responsibility in your child in the following ways: Start involving the child in household chores from a young age. Even a 2-year-old can throw his dirty clothes in the laundry basket and a 3-year-old can be taught to lay the table for a meal. Play to the childs skill level and help her complete small tasks on an everyday basis. Modelling responsibility is also important. After every meal, you can say, Now we put our dirty plates in the sink. This will help the child develop a habit of responsible behaviour. To help your child develop a sense of ownership for an action, praise him for it. Instead of saying Good boy, try saying, I like that you made your own bed today! Also, manage your expectations; if a 5-year-old is making his own bed, dont expect perfection. And finally, let your child face the consequences of her actions. If your child leaves the table messy, remind her that if she doesnt keep the crayons and colouring book away, she wont be able to use it the next day. Dont give in to the temptation of cleaning it yourself. Over time, your child will learn that she is responsible for her own things.
My 4 yr old kid doesnt allow me to talk to my husband or anyone else.in the process he ends up being scolded and when he keeps doing it he gets hit by me out of frustration. If I scold him he does it again and again. How do I handle this?
@Team Dear parent, It must be so frustrating to have your child do something even though repeatedly tell him not to! The most important question, though, is this: why does your child not allow you to talk to anyone else? Does he feel insecure of your love? Does he not get to spend enough time with you? Does he feel that you dont give him enough attention? Scolding and beating will hardly help you resolve this issue. It will only teach him that if we want someone to listen to us, we should hit them or be punitive with them. What might help, on the contrary, is responding with empathy and spending time with your child. Respond to your child with empathy when he does try to stop you from talking to others. Say, You feel like mumma should only talk to you and love you! This will help him get in touch with his feelings. Plan activities to do with your child every day after he returns from school - make it a special time with just the two of you, without any phone calls, screens, chores, or distractions. Keep telling him that you love to spend time with him, and gradually you will be able to observe a change in his behaviour.
Hey mom, are you longing to rediscover yourself by doing what you love, while also taking care of your family? Our International Womens Day story of 5 interesting women is your dose of inspiration!
Is it ok to give in sometimes to tantrums? (Age 2.9 years)
@Team Dear parent, it might seem like tantrums are the bane of parenting! Every child, no matter how well-behaved, does throw tantrums for a variety of reasons. However, before giving in to a tantrum, we must ask ourselves a very important question - is this tantrum coming from the childs thinking brain or feeling brain. Remember the hand model of the brain we discussed at the workshop? When a child is operating from his thinking brain, its important to not give in and explain to the child the logic of why you are not giving in. When a child is operating from his feeling brain, its important that we empathise with the child (i.e., imagine how you as a parent would feel in that situation, reflect on whether your child is feeling that way, and say it to your child). Once the child has calmed down and become receptive to listen to you, you can then communicate with the child about the situation (i.e., what the child wants, the reason behind his tantrum) and proceed with problem-solving or setting limits (whichever might the case be). It is at this point that you decide whether giving in to a tantrum (i.e., getting the child what she wants) is acceptable or not. As we mentioned in the workshop as well, parenting decisions taken when both the parent and child are feeling strong emotions are never a good idea!
@Team Such a valuable response :) 2.9 is still terrible twos as they say.. :) We come across so many parents among friends circle who just say my child is little cranky right now and the information about techniques to deal with such a situation is extremely valuable. This is one of the reasons why these workshops are so helpful. Info about the thinking brain and feeling brain and the peace process is helpful and its something to be practiced by parents, which can help during stressful situations. Just wanted to add this comment:) Thank you.
Somehow to me still empathising and providing alternatives sounds like bribing. Surely I dont want to encourage bribing. How do I draw the line?
@Team Dear parent, Its understandable that you feel mixed up about empathizing and providing alternatives. However, where we parents need to draw a line is between feelings and behaviours. ALL feelings (even negative feelings such as anger, frustration, or fear) can be accepted, but that doesnt mean we accept all the behaviours arising out of those feelings (such as hitting or telling lies). Empathy involves thinking about how I (as a parent) would feel in that situation and reflecting on whether my child might be feeling the same way, and saying that to my child. For example, I understand youre angry at mumma for not allowing you to eat ice cream before dinner but just because youre empathizing that doesnt mean you will allow your child to eat ice cream before dinner. Similarly, providing alternatives means you are drawing line between whats acceptable versus whats not. For example, ice cream before dinner is not acceptable but you can provide alternatives like munching on some carrot sticks or eating some cheese before dinner.
When there is fight between two kids I find it very difficult to handle. Both are right in their own way. What should I do in such situation? (Age group: 3 years and 3 yrs 8 months)
@Team As a parent, how do you get your children to value each other and sort out their differences amicably? Here are some simple tips for you to help deal with sibling rivalry.
How to negotiate when we have limited time on hand to accomplish something? (child age 4 years)
@Team The idea of negotiating with their child may not sound acceptable to many parents. However, by negotiating with their child, parents can help them learn quite a few important life skills.
Your take on punishments-corporal. This is not severe beating but more like one slap when she is not obedient for quite some time.
@Team Wake up, Eat fast, Put away your toys the list of commands you give your child each day is endless. But, does your child listen?
Hi all as I am new to home schooling . right now my child is in 2 & will be moving to 3 . I will be unschooling him this year . what books should be given to him or which stream should I follow.pls help . little confused
@Seema Thanks a lot for your question. We shall reply shortly with details
@Seema Dear parent It seems you have your hands full with your 4 year old! Homeschooling your child is a great idea, and something that a lot of Indian parents are opting for these days. You have to start by choosing a curriculum that best suits your childs learning style. For more information and guidance, you can follow any number of Indian parent blogs to learn how to start homeschooling your child. Some examples are: https://afathersheartbeat.com/start-homeschooling-india/ and https://thatindianmom.com/ These also offer ideas on making studies interesting and fun. You can also refer to books such as Give your child the world by Jamie Martin to access the list of recommended books for all ages.
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