Need help with Parenting? This is the space for you to share, discuss and ask all about parenting young children.
Physical activity in any form is more important than no activity. Getting your child to move more is a good way to introduce fitness in her life. How do you do that?
Keeping small children out of troubles way can be challenging indoors. Here are some easy ways to keep your preschooler occupied, with little or no expenditure, while also having fun
Is your preschooler fascinated with all things space? Lets take off in our personal spaceship to the outer world and catch some stars. Heres a list of books that will help make the journey
Wondering how to keep your children entertained and teach them something at the same time? Check out these fun educational activities that will keep them occupied.
Netflix India offers a great choice of wonderful programmes that suit all age groups and cover all genres. Heres a list of 10 shows you can watch this summer with your family.
If youre struggling as a parent to have the coronavirus talk with your child, youre not alone. Read on about talking to your child about this disease.
Worried about whether your little one will be able to keep up with the demands of work at school? Well, its simple, give your little genius the best possible start in life with these brain foods.
Critical thinking is a vital life skill for children which will enable them to evaluate information and make decisions.
Motherhood is indeed a privilege. But, do you find yourself bogged down by its numerous responsibilities and challenges? Heres how you can enjoy being a mother.
@Team I believe that when we become mothers we gradually learn a lot in the journey. We defineitely cannot be perfect but the process of raising a a pure, innocent little soul is just so gratifying.
The transfer of negative emotions from parents has an adverse impact on the cognitive and emotional development of children
@Team I totally agree on this. We as parents need to restrain ourselves before we exhibit any negative emotions in front of the child.
As a parent sometimes it is true, I burden my children and husband with my anxieties. In retrospect I feel I should not do it and understand the implications as well, but sometimes it is so difficult to regulate my emotions.
@Pragatii I cant agree less. It happens as we are overwhelmed with emotions at times . Keep it cool dear for we can always make a change next time. Time teaches us patience and you will be okay too.
Many parents consider getting their children to bed on time, one of their biggest challenges. Do you also have regular night-time battles with your child? Find out how you can make your life easier.
An asthma attack is scary for both the child as well as the parents. Here are 5 ways to handle it better. Plus, we are busting some myths on asthma as well.
@Team Very relevant article, especially during winters. My little one has developed COPD and it is so scary as a parent to see it when your child has those attacks.
Along with good habits, children also develop unacceptable ones like spitting. If your child has got into this habit, how will you change his behaviour?
@Team I have actually observed many children spit in public or on people. I think it is a phase and as children grow older and realise that it is unacceptable behaviour, they get over it.
Ever wondered how kids learning with an Abacus find maths easy to learn? Heres everything on how to use the Abacus to teach maths, and why it makes your children incredibly smart in calculations.
Diwali is not just the festival of lights nor is it all about catching the new movies! This Diwali lets go old school and enjoy the festival with family. Afterall, it is the festival of togetherness.
Throwing food, telling lies, potty jokes.What can you do in these frustrating situations?
@Team I can completely relate to this. There are times when I forget to think in a way my child is thinking. I view it from an adults perspective and fail to realise the problem or dilemma that my little one is facing.
Children struggle with worries but are unable to express their concerns due to lack of adequate language skills.
@Roopa Thank you so much for sharing this. I face this problem sometimes with my toddler. And if I enquire a lot, he becomes slightly perturbed. Really helpful!
My daughter is 3 and is very of shy of people. She is quite smart and intelligent but does not speak in front of people. Should I let her be or should I take some steps to ensure that she opens up before strangers?
@Satakshi Hi, every child is different, but how is she with people you are very comfortable with like your best friends, siblings, grand parents and close relatives. Children pickup subtle hints and vibes easily and their behaviour is very natural.
If you observe closely, you will notice that she would be most comfortable with all the people you and her dad are happy and comfortable with and might speak a little with others. Children understand strangers around them in their own sensitive way and this usually reflects in the way they communicate.
While growing up, we all have seen and mingled with so many kids and so we know that some kids can be little more sensitive. Nevertheless, they too eventually learn formalities as they grow bigger and learn to speak when spoken to and speak to others with confidence when necessary. So let your child be as natural as she wants to be and support her by not pushing her to speak if shes uncomfortable. Its ok if she comes across as shy but try to avoid using the word -shy. Be around her and give her time to feel comfortable in social gatherings and parties.
Since she is three, from this age onwards, as she mingles with classmates and teachers, she will understand formalities and speak more often with all. She will greet everybody, wish others, and get more comfortable with the world. Her friends and teachers teach her a lot too.
If you look back, you might remember some situations from your own childhood, when you probably were talkative with some people but quiet with some for some reason. Most of us would have experienced that at some point of time.
In todays digital word, children speak on the phone very early on, unlike our times when we were quite big when we learnt phone etiquette and other types of communication. So dont worry too much but from your side, make sure she has enough play dates, and plays games and sports of her choice with children of her age.
Speak to her about her day, play with her and allow her to express her opinions and thoughts about various topics and subjects.
Enrol her in some extracurricular lessons, which will help her to develop her hobbies as well as give her enough opportunities to mingle with strangers.
Keep your efforts on, but dont force her to speak to strangers if she doesnt want to. With your help and care, very soon you will see that she will speak to others with more confidence and that should happen naturally. Hope this helps. All the Best:)
@Satakshi Dear Parent, there are a few reasons why a child, though smart and intelligent, will not open up before strangers. They are:- shyness, an introvert personality or social anxiety.
Shyness is a behaviour, not a personality trait. A shy child tends to be nervous in social situations, more so with unknown people. Her nervousness makes her think and worry about what people may say or do, whether they will accept her or reject her, or make fun of her. Or she may just not know what to say when she meets people. Most children outgrow this form of shyness. You can help your daughter in the following ways:
1. Do not force her to mingle with people she is uncomfortable with.
2. Introduce her to a few people at a time, start with one or two.
3. Hold her hand for reassurance as you enter into a social group with her.
4.The label shy can only make her feel more confused and insecure.
5. Using comparisons with other children is not encouragement. It can upset her trust in you.
5. Let her know that you understand her feelings when she withdraws or is reluctant to talk and perform before others.
6. Make her feel safe avoid pushing or embarrassing her by criticizing her behaviour.
7. Practice small conversation starters with her at home let the practice be fun and enjoyable.
8. Allow her to develop age appropriate independence. It will build her confidence around people.
Do try these tips. However, persistent shyness, if not addressed, can lead to social anxiety which may require intervention such as counselling and therapy.
@Satakshi Dear Satakshi,
Considering your daughter is just 3 it is fine if she is a little shy of people. Definitely it is important to make sure that as she grows older she does not become socially awkward. But believe me, children outgrow their shyness as they become more confident of themselves. To help them become confident individuals is our duty as parents.
Keep instilling in her manners that make a difference, but at this age do not force her to be a very different version of herself. Take care!
@Satakshi Thank you so much for your suggestions, Roopa Maam, ParentCircle Team and Neena Maam. Neither me nor my husband want to force our daughter in this aspect. But we were in a dilemma and this help is really so comforting. She is actually a very cheerful child, but shy. Hoping she will start mingling more with people as she grows up. Thank you, again!
Want to know whether your child has good mathematical skills? These tests will help you.
High blood pressure is a condition that is commonly associated with adults. But can this medical condition affect young children? Read on to know more
Kids share a special bond with their grandparents. Therefore, when a grandparent is very ill, it can be hard on your child. As parents, there are ways you can ease this for him. Find out how.
@Team My children are very close to both sets of grandparents. And I fear that when our parents grow older and weaker, how I am going to prepare my children to face the reality. It is not easy for us as children to accept their deteriorating condition, so explaining it our children is really a difficult task.
@Team At some point of time, we all have gone through the sorrow of losing our elderly. Life is like that. We have dealt with all the thoughts that crossed our mind and experienced all the emotions when news of a grandpa or grandma passing away arrived.
As children, we were told that grandma and grandpa had gone to be with God, so we sent them away but would continue to pray for their blessings. Then further questions only led to answers like they had become stars and would watch over us always and this would happen to all of us. However hard this news was to deal with, it also gave hope that death was not the end but these elders would always watch over all of us. Such situations happen in everybodys life. Eventually, as time goes by, children grasp many things and understand life in their own away.
This reminds of Sidharthas (Gautama Buddhas) story, who was kept away from such issues. As we know, later on, he dealt with all the sorrow the world faced, learnt about death and was shocked and was in pain himself.
In todays world, many children live in nucleur families and probably miss the last rites of the elderly if they live very far. Incase they do take part, I think its fine to explain everything to them according to their age. Very little children arent mature enough to understand everything. So I think they need to be told in a way that they can grasp. As they grow older, they will keep learning a lot and try to understand to deal with situations to the best of their ability.
Sometimes life throws curveballs and elderly might fall sick. One of my grandmas was paralysed during her last days and it took a while for all her grandchildren to even imagine such an active, independent, and helpful person to be facing such a situation. It was a mixture of feelings as we were very fond of her, but we helped her as per elders instructions, read books to her, and made her as comfortable as she could be. Slowly we all accepted the situation and she was always blessing youngsters as usual.
Such incidents and situations teach children and all those involved a lot of lessons. These lessons and memories we carry in our hearts forever.
Everything that happens and everything that we experience eventually teach us lessons that help us to become stronger, more mature and sometimes they change our outlook towards life.
@Team You write so well, Roopa Maam. It is really inspiring to read what you write.
@Team Thank you :)
My niece of 4 years is a very smart and observant child. But lately we have noticed that she seems preoccupied and lost in her thoughts. We also feel that she is lying at times. Usually a very honest child, we are finding it difficult to understand this change. What could be bothering her?
@Leena Dear Leena,
It is a matter of concern to see such a sudden change in a little one. My little one too is going to turn two and I keep making sure that he is not lying or trying to hide things.
See if your niece is facing any traumatizing everyday at school or places she visits regularly. Also, sometimes if the parents are too strict children use lies as a way of avoiding a scolding or punishment.
@Leena Dear Parent, it is indeed worrisome for you to see your little niece change so much. It is indeed nice to note that you have been alert and observant because many times these changes in behaviour go unnoticed or are ignored. Its not possible to know what could be bothering her. Her behaviour is only a symptom of an underlying problem. Therefore we need to look beyond the behaviour what thoughts and emotions could she be dealing with fear, guilt, sadness, confusion, insecurity?
These emotions are triggered by fearful thoughts and What ifs. Has there been a major change in the family? Such as arrival of a new baby, loss of a loved one, change of house etc. If not, whatever be the cause, its best to help her share with someone she is comfortable with and who has a sensitive approach. Children lie out of guilt, fear of being punished, fear of loss of love by the parent. They are willing to share with people whom they trust and feel secure with. They need to be reassured that no matter what, they will be understood and protected. When she tells a lie, use this situation to reach out to her.
First, take time to calm your own emotions of anger and frustration. Next, show empathy in your tone of voice and body language while you say You seem to be afraid of something. Are you scared to tell me about it? Give her a few moments to experience your empathy. Give a big hug if shes okay with it. You can then talk about a few times when, as a child, you were afraid because you told a lie. Your stories will help normalize her feelings and make it easier for her to start talking about her own feelings and the problem behind them. Help her see the mistake and learn from it. This process may require repeated efforts before she feels comfortable to open up.
If your niece does not respond and continues to remain quiet and preoccupied beyond another 3 weeks, you may consider seeking professional help.
@Leena This is such a wonderful way to understand a child. It is indeed distressing to see a child lying, specially when it spurts suddenly. As suggested by you, knowing what is concerning them and they are finding it difficult to express.
@Leena It is so nice to read your suggestions and advice, Leena dear. Really helps young moms like me who sometimes find it so difficult to bring about a balance and ensure that your child is growing up well, mentally and physically.
Handling your toddlers bedtime tantrums can be a nightmare at the end of a long, tiring day. But dont worry! Heres help to get her to sleep without a fuss.
If your child has a sudden bout of stomach ache and youre not sure what to do, check out these tried and tested all-natural remedies that are sure to bring relief to your childs tummy ache.
@Team Also, great read! Thanks for sharing.
My little one will turn 2 in a few months. He is very clingy. I personally do not mind it, cause he is still very small. But, a lot of people around me say that it will be very difficult for him when he starts school and may lead to more problems. I am quite perplexed, what should I do?
@Reshma Dear Parent, it is very confusing when you receive advice that conflicts with what you believe in. Youre on the right track when you say that your child is still very small and needs to feel the comfort of you by his side. As a toddler, he is beginning to explore his world by moving around indoors and outdoors. You can accompany him - first walk alongside him, then gradually a few steps behind and finally let him play around by himself while you watch from a safe distance. He would like you to show interest in all that he does. And when he does have a fall or feels afraid, he will run to you for comfort. He expects you to help him handle those difficult emotions. So rather than brushing aside his feelings by saying that its okay or that he should stop crying, you can hold him close, allow him to cry, and let him know that its alright to feel upset. You are the safe haven he returns to. This approach helps your child build trust in you - that he can always rely upon you to support and comfort him. Thus, he will gradually build confidence and gain the courage to move away from you. Going to school and separating from you will be less stressful.
@Reshma Dear Reshma,
Do not worry. It is natural for such a small child to be attached to his parents. It is great that you do not have a problem with. It is ok to avoid unsolicited advice. Go with your gut feeling as a mother and enjoy the journey.
@Reshma Thank you so much for the valuable advice. It really feels good. With advice pouring in from every corner, sometimes keeping your resolve becomes a problem. Thanks again!
What to do when after patiently explaining to my 5 year old about not hitting others on a whim, he still continues with the bad behaviour. I control my anger, so does my wife. Please help us!
@Vidyut When they are making tantrums
*Ignore, they may cry louder. But eventually will settle down. Being a mother i know we feel desperate and pathetic to see our kids suffer but let me tell you ,you are doing it for their good and a bright future.
*You can explain the consequences of why it is not your childs cup of tea. Relax, dont loose your patience you may have to repeat it a lot of times .
*Be consistent, make the No sound like No everytime, let the people around the house be informed they must also deny and not add fuel to the fire. Otherwise it may blaze later and spoil the kid.
*Be honest, dont give reasons or lie to them ,saying let me try next time. Instead explain them why they dont need it.
*Finally, appreciate if they are being patient, or if you see a changed in the behavior. This goes a long way, the process takes time but believe me mothers can do anything under the sun, motivation, patience, and consistence is more important.
@Vidyut This is a really helpful answer, Rajamani. I too face similar issues at times with my 4 year old just like it has pointed out by Vidyut. And, honestly I do feel very helpless at times!
@Vidyut Dont worry and continue your efforts with your child , for i have found out that this is only a passing phase and sooner that later kids realise their mistakes . Have faith and have patience.
@Vidyut Dear Parent, it must be hard trying to get your child to stop hitting others, in spite of your explanations. Apparently the explanations are not solving the problem, so lets change strategy. Based upon social-emotional development, a typical 5-year-old wants to be like his friends and wants to please them; is more cooperative and capable of following rules; yet is also demanding. Hitting others will only isolate him from his peers, so there must be a reason why he still indulges in hitting. The goal must be to understand his reason.
As parents, you are controlling your anger, which is not good for you. Suppressed anger can erupt anytime, making your child feel afraid. Your anger is normal, so acknowledge it. To replace angry reactive behaviour with sensitive receptive behaviour (to be able to connect with your child), first take a few moments to calm yourself, bring your breath to normal. The next time your child hits someone, reach out to him by giving him a warm hug and whisper to him, I know you are upset about something. Continue to hold him close to help him calm down. Next, start a simple conversation about things that could upset him (some children reveal a need for attention and know that negative behaviour will definitely get them the attention.) This approach makes your child feel safe and soothed. He is now ready to listen to your explanations about why hitting others is not acceptable behaviour. Do remember that all children require frequent reminders. A final tip pay attention to his positive behaviours and appreciate them. Examples of ways to show appreciation - I like the way you helped your friend today, or I saw how kind you were to your friend. Do let us know how things work out for you.
If you are having a hard time getting your child to listen to you, we are here to help you with some great tips thatll make her listen every time you speak.
@Team Loved the tips. So lucid. Being a teacher, more often than not I face this issue when my students are not paying attention to what I am speaking. Thank you for sharing, Team!
@Team A very good article indeed and most of us fret about children not listening to us . Its a great write up and informative too.
Do you know that wax is a part of the ears natural cleaning process? But, sometimes the body may produce more wax than normal. This is when you should consider cleaning your toddlers ear wax.
Lately my preschooler has started clinging on to me, a lot. Initially I thought it was a phase, but has been happening for nearly a month now. I have asked him questions about whether everything is fine in school, but he does not say anything much. Otherwise quite a happy and chirpy kid. What should I do?
@Vicky A kid naturally feels closest and very secure with the mother. Its an amazing feeling for the child. We want children to approach us whenever they are scared or anxious, so its good to have this bond. So please be patient.
Having said that, has there been any change in his routine recently ? Have you moved to a different place, changed his teacher or brought some change in his daily life?
Whenever he is clingy and you feel disturbed, explain to him patiently in as many words as possible that you want to be with him and play but you have to finish your work and youll be with him soon. Give him assurance that you will be there for him.
Make sure he knows his schedule well in advance. For instance, if you are going to a movie, visiting somebody or taking him somewhere, you tell him beforehand whats the schedule so that theres no confusion and he knows what to look forward to. Try to keep his routine constant everyday.
Whenever he does something on his own or helps you with a little chore, praise him and show genuine appreciation. That will make him feel confident and will encourage him to find something to do on his own.
Everyday spend some quality time with him that you dedicate only to him; it could be time spent for reading, playing, talking about his day, helping with homework or having food with him and also make sure you are not distracted with ph or tv show or any visitors at that time.
Whenever he is too clingy or not saying bye to you, dont show that you are stressed. Stay calm and patient and tell him that you will be back soon. If you show that you are affected by his clinginess, he will become more anxious. Be as calm as possible and take leave confidently.
You can also have play dates for him with kids of his own age. Encourage him to play with kids in your community or invite kids over. Your presence among other children will make him more comfortable and he will slowly become more independent to play on his own and also to find somebody to play with.
As you say, this could be just a phase. As he grows up, he will adjust to the world around him, become more independent and soon, the time will come when you will miss this clinginess and preschool days, because as kids get older, they show maturity and do things on their own. Enjoy his childhood. Hope this helps. All the Best:)
@Vicky Dear Parent, thanks for reaching out to us with your concern and its nice to know that you are alert in noticing changes in him, and that you are trying your best to help him. Although a clingy child can be bothersome, the good news is that he knows for sure that you are his secure base someone he can trust and go to for comfort. Sometimes school experiences can be a bit much for a toddler building relationships with teachers and classmates; negotiating his way around the class and school campus; following instructions and performing learning tasks. Not to mention the feelings and emotions he experiences at school. Could it be that he feels overwhelmed with all of this and doesnt know how to handle it all? Since asking him questions does not seem to work, lets try something different. Every time he clings to you, you would quite naturally feel impatient and frustrated and try to get him off your back by distracting him with something or asking him to just go and play. Instead, knowing that he has come to you with trust, hold him close and say, I love it when we hug each other. I am so happy that you are my child. This lets your son know that you love him unconditionally, even when he is bothersome! Both of you experience a deep moment of connection during which the brain releases oxytocin which is known to improve bonding. Do this as often as you can. The repeated connections between your child and you make him feel deeply secure and trusting of you. Thats when he feels safe to start talking about why he feels the need to cling to you. Do remember that there is always a need behind his actions. Once the need is met the action(behaviour) gradually disappears. Enjoy the moments of connection with your son! And do let us know if this was helpful.
Bullying is a serious problem. A child exposed to bullying during childhood can suffer from lifelong consequences. Read and understand how to prepare your child to face a bully.
You have got great advises, adding on to it, remember it is important for parents to understand that kids come into this world with their own temperaments,likes and dislikes, and its the parents job to provide them an interface with the world around them that eventually prepares the child for complete independence.
My preschooler seems very disinterested in playing with toys or his friends. He likes playing alone at times and enjoys doing anything with me. Im afraid if hell grow up to become more dependent on me. Im also very worried about leaving him anywhere alone or me being alone without him. How can we both cope with this?
@Shobha Dear Parent, preschooler child is too small. He likes to play alone means he is an intelligent boy. Dont be afraid and be anxious about future as no one knows whats going to happen the next moment. Try to live in present moment with positive attitude. With your strong mind things will go as per your wish.
@Shobha Dear Parent, thanks for reaching out to us. You seem to have built a strong relationship with your child which is the foundation for your childs emotional health self-confidence and independence. Its a thin and tricky line between dependency and over-dependency in a relationship. So your worry is quite understandable.
A childs attachment with a parent gives him a great sense of security, knowing that his parent will take care of his needs, enjoy playtime with him and comfort him when he is distressed. At the same time, as the child grows he wants to learn to do things by himself, such as eat and dress on his own, carry his things, try to do new things. These are very important first steps in learning to be independent and to feel capable of doing things for himself. Without these skills, he feels unsafe in the company of other children, unsure about how to play with them, helpless because he sees other children able to take care of themselves. Playing with toys gives a child his first experiences in feeling capable, such as managing to build a tower of blocks or fix things together. Many parents tend to complete these tasks for the child, so the child does not experience the thrill of having learnt to do something by himself. Thus the child becomes dependent on the parent.
To help your child become more independent, encourage him to do things on his own (according to his age), allow him to make mistakes and help him learn from them. Allow him to help you with small tasks around the house and appreciate his efforts. The confidence he gains will make him more comfortable to play with other children. Do let me know how he progresses.
@Shobha Hi, every child is different but instead of generalising, if you analyse this particular situation, as a mother to him, you know more about him than everybody. What are your concerns when you are away from him? Preschoolers are very small and they miss their mom at school everyday. Some even cry before entering the class, which they outgrow eventually. Probably he is missing you when he is away and that makes you worried. How old is he?
From all your life experiences, you must have seen so many kids all through life. What do you feel. ? what excites him ? What is his favourite toy ? He is disinterested in playing with toys but are there toys that he is attached to? What is his favourite activity ? I was an assistant teacher for a while and I noticed many things but there was one kid who liked to play with one other child only everyday and liked to stick to him only and there was another who would go join any group and be a helper, leader to others trying to offer help while doing some art or playing games. Some are talkative and loud and some are shy and quiet.
Dont force him to play with others or stay with others if he does not want to but make sure you take him to the playground, and let him play in a playgroup. Enrol him in drawing lessons or sports of his choice. Why would it worry you if he is not with you ? How about leaving him with grandparents for a few hours without you.. how would he react to that ?
At every general checkup, the doc does ask some usual questions related to development.
Please do talk about your concern with a paediatrician just to make sure all your doubts are cleared. Everything will be fine eventually. As he grows up, he will learn a lot, adapt, deal with friends, get comfortable with school and the world in general.
As a mom do what is best for him, keep him happy, and enjoy his childhood. All the Best :)
Neurological disorders affect both behaviour and brain development in children. As a parent, heres all you should know about five common nervous system disorders.
Do you only end up having short conversations with your child about school amidst your busy life? Well, here is how you can improve those conversations by asking better questions.
With changing times, children have started becoming tech savvy at a very early age. To feed this interest, weve listed some great apps that will enhance her developmental skills
@Team Thanks for the article. I also prefer apps while playing rhymes for my kids rather than playing them on youtube as it doesnt automatically get redirected to other inappropriate videos or ads. Found this article useful.
@Team Lovely video. Thank you Dr. Muffazal for sharing your thoughts!
Parenting mistakes can have long-term repercussions for your child. Here are 10 things you should avoid doing while dealing with your preschooler.
Parents should refrain from stereotyping and should protect their children from its negative effects. Know more.
@Team A wonderful read. Im sharing it with my friends too.a much needed one.
Are you in a tizzy over what to pack for your childs lunchbox, now that the schools have re-opened? Fret not. We give you some easy, lip-smacking ideas that will pack a healthy punch
@Jeena Very nice recipes..we have prepared the pancakes couple of times and they turn out great with or without milk. They taste good with honey also.
@Jeena Really amazing recipes. What a joy as a parent to get some innovative recipe ideas. Thanks a lot!
Hey parents, how ready are YOU for the coming academic year? Textbooks, notebooks, lunch bags, pencil boxes is this all your list is made of? Are you missing something crucial? Find out!
@Team Recently, I have been watching all the old Disney Animated films like Bambi, Snow White, Lion King and Cinderella, with my child. It has been such a lovely experience as I am transported back to my childhood days and my child too is loving bit of the experience.
@Team Nice to read about your experience..heard new alladin movie is great, waiting to watch with kids.
Getting the right storybooks for preschoolers is important to ensure they have a meaningful reading experience. Know how to choose the best.
@Team Very helpful article! Ive started to enroll my kids in a nearby library and it helps us in choosing the right books every time.
Children lie for different reasons and depending on their age, they may not even be aware that they are lying. So, its best to understand why your child is lying before you react.
My preschooler wants to always play and not do anything related to school after coming home. Plssss help.
@Team Preschoolers learn almost everything through play. There are lot of educational toys that can help in teaching them lessons that they learn at school.. or you can invent a fun game to play with the child and include in the game, whatever you want to teach.
In a few years, when they reach higher standard/grades, they will have lot more to do when it comes to homework and school assignments, but at this age, they colour a lot, learn the letters of the alphabet, listen to stories and books, enjoy music and dance, enjoy playing outdoors etc.,
Through play, they develop their language skills, social skills, physical skills, imagination, and creativity.
Enjoy these days as much as possible with the child and teach everything in a fun way. Hope this helps. All the best !
What can be more fun for a child than learning through play? The play-way method of education is about giving the child absolute freedom to grasp, explore and absorb knowledge her own way.
My 3.2 yr old daughter Ritika started going to play school a few days back. For the first one week, she was obedient and thereafter I am unsure as to what happened to her, but she is throwing tantrums to go to school and she is constantly crying. Please help me as to what i can do.
@Rani After starting preschool, every child goes through some level of uneasiness in the first few weeks. Its just a matter of time.
Going to preschool is a huge transition for children as they have to adjust to a lot of changes. At home, they feel safe and comfortable with family. Before going to preschool they eat, play, and take naps at different times. So their routine also changes.
Speak to her teacher about her tantrums and crying. If the teacher knows about it, she will give her extra attention and affection to make her feel comfortable. Preschool teachers know a lot of strategies to keep kids happy and help them adjust well. The teacher will also try to find out more reasons why she has been crying and this will help you deal with the issue.
From your side, follow the same routine every day. Be as confident as possible. Children can sense their moms discomfort. While dropping her off and saying bye, sound excited and positive. Tell her you will be back to pick her up very soon. After few days, she will be fine.
Usually small children have an idea of preschool through childrens programs on tv or by watching their siblings go to school. To them, preschool looks like a fun place. They find it very exciting to see kids running around in the play-place, colouring, listening to stories, eating together etc., Keep her motivated and tell her how much fun school is. All the Best!
@Rani Dear parent, a child crying to go to pre-school is unfortunately more common than we imagine. Most children are usually calm in the first few days of starting preschool because they dont know what to expect. Once they figure out how it works, they start resisting by crying or throwing tantrums. Parents can prepare their child for pre-school by talking about it every day to them and also reading books about preschool to their child. Books such as Tom goes to kindergarten by Margaret Wild and What to expect at preschool by Heidi Murkoff make good reads. Since your child has already started preschool, there are a lot of things you can still do to help her feel prepared:
Talk to your child about preschool by following her lead. Ask open-ended questions but dont push the conversation if she doesnt want to talk. Teach her about emotions, how to label different feelings, and express them appropriately. Cue n to your own feelings, because if youre anxious and worried about your child, she may be able to perceive it.
Speak to your childs school to allow you to stay in the school for a while. Also tell your child when youre going to leave; avoid leaving without saying good-bye, no matter how difficult it may be.
Establish routines for your child. Routines help children feel safe and make things predictable for her. For example, before going to preschool she should have a routine of getting up at the same time every day, having breakfast, brushing her teeth, getting dressed, and leaving for school. Similarly, she should have a routine for what happens after she gets back from school.
Minimise the time you spend saying good-bye and instead have a predictable sequence around saying good-bye. For example, reading a book together or singing a rhyme before you drop off your child to school.
Develop good communication with your childs teacher. Ask what might be worrying your child, such as using the toilets, finding her belongings, or being unable to eat her snacks.
Lastly, give your child time to settle. Its a new experience for her but over time shes bound to settle in the new routine and feel comfortable. All the best!
@Rani Thank you Team and Roopa. Very helpful inputs.
Nothing is as vital as the right learning during the formative years. Heres a weekly series to help you choose the right school of thought for your child. We begin with the Montessori way.
As two- and three-year-olds begin to move about actively, they are prone to falls and injuries. What do you do you in such situations - panic or stay calm? Here are 2 situations and how you can deal with them:-
Head injuries are more common in children than in adults. Head injuries can result from your child falling off the bed, hitting her head against the edge of a piece of furniture or even running into a wall.
Signs to look for: If you notice your child crying and indicating some discomfort in her head, look for external signs like a cut, a bruise or bleeding. It can be hard to assess whether a head injury is ordinary or serious by looking at it. It is important to watch your child closely for 24 hours after the injury to see whether she develops signs of distress like a bump, breathing trouble, nausea or light-headedness, all of which she may find difficult to communicate.
Parental action: For bleeding from cuts, try to stop the bleeding first. Ensure you handle your child with clean hands. Press the wound firmly with a clean cloth or a bit of gauze for about 10 minutes by which the time the bleeding will have stopped. If the bleeding does not stop or if there an object has pierced the wound, you must see a doctor. If you notice a bump, you could use a cold compress to reduce the swelling.
If you suspect there is something more than a minor injury, consult a paediatrician. If your child shows signs of a concussion including change in behaviour, loss of consciousness, sleeplessness, vomiting or confusion, seek emergency medical attention right away.
Burns are serious business. There are three types of burns: first-, second- and third-degree burns. If you happen to be dealing with the last two, it is better to rush your child to the hospital. Burns can be caused by anything scalding hot bath water that your child tips over; a hot cup of coffee or a steaming bowl of food placed on the dining table that gets toppled over accidentally.
Signs to look for: A first-degree burn extends to only about 1/4th of an inch.
It can be identified by redness of the skin, and minor swelling. Small blisters are seen. Second-degree burns are identified by the large blisters and thickening of the skin that follows. Third-degree burns can be identified by whitening of the skin and a leather-like appearance.
Parental action: Place the burnt area under cool running water or place a clean cold cloth on the burn for about 2 to 3 minutes. Then wrap up the area with a bandage for a day. If the first-degree burn happens to be on the face, hand, shoulder or the genital area, dont treat the burn at home; see a doctor immediately. Second- and third-degree burns must be treated by a medical practitioner.
Does your childs habit of being disorganised or misplacing her belongings worry you? Here are some ways you can ensure that she gets her act together and becomes more organised.
Child sexual abuse is now a widespread problem and every parents biggest fear. But, how will you discuss the subject with your children and help them stay safe?
I am not able to stop my child from watching TV while eating.
@Team Dear parent,
I can imagine how difficult it is to feed a young child who is insistent on staring at a screen. However, meal times neednt be battle times! First things first, screen times should be completely avoided during meal times because of the harmful effects they carry - the screen distraction does not allow your child to focus on appetite cues such as taste, texture, flavours and quantity. The ads tempt children into wanting processed and junk food items. To pave the way for lifelong healthy eating, you need to lay the foundation for good eating behaviour starting now:
Start by removing all screens during meal times, even for yourselves. Dont give in. Your child will initially fuss, maybe throw tantrums, but stick to the rule. If you give in, your child will learn to never eat without screen. Initially, your child may not eat at all. But if youre serious about making the change, dont give in; your child will definitely not starve herself.
Make mealtimes a family activity, with all the family members gathering at the dinner table. If your child needs to eat earlier than other family members, sit with her while she eats, talk about the different foods on her plate, make up stories about them.
Offer the child what you eat as a family; dont prepare separate meals especially for her. If she refuses to eat, respect that decision. When she gets hungry after some time, offer her the same food item again.
Dont store up snacks that are processed and thus unhealthy. For example, dont keep any chips, biscuits, chocolates, instant noodles, etc. in the house. When your child gets hungry, offer her fresh fruits, raw veggie sticks with homemade dips, or home-made fresh snacks. This will ensure a full tummy even if she refuses meals without a screen.
Breaking any unhealthy behaviour pattern takes time and patience, but remember only you have the power to break it!
All the best.
I was in a situation like yours..
Im just reminded of an incident that I would like to share. Once we moved our residence and we didnt have cable TV and my child felt little uncomfortable on the first day because it had become a habit for sometime to have TV On while eating.
Now suddenly there was no TV and there was a genuine reason too, so nothing could be done and slowly it became a habit to eat without noise and TV:) we didnt get cable channels for long time after that.
Ive a suggestion.. Is it possible to do an experiment so that you can break this habit in a nice way?:) if its ok, how about not switching the TV On for couple of days or disconnecting the cable channels for sometime. Give the child a valid reasonable response. Once you get the channels back after sometime, avoid going back to the old ways.
As you heard from the counselor, screen time needs to be avoided during meal times, and we must follow that consistently..
All the Best:)
How do we balance the prescriptive way of parenting with child discovering it himself (esp for ages 1-3 years)?
@Team Dear parent, parenting is the art and science of balancing! However, you can strike a balance between being prescriptive and giving the child space to explore for himself. This can be achieved by thinking about some of the limits and rules you want your child to follow and values you want to inculcate in your child. For example, if you want your child to play cooperatively, without shouting or hitting, have a family rule that says so. While you enforce this limit, be clear in your expectations. Unclear directions, lecturing, or worse shouting rarely helps. Once you have explained the limit to your child, make sure there is an action to back it up. Now within this limit of playing cooperatively, give your child the freedom to play with whatever she wants, and whichever way she wants. For example, if she wants to play with blocks, let her in whichever manner she chooses, without taking over, guiding, directing, cajoling, which unfortunately a lot of parents do. Even if she does come to you for help, use incidental teaching- i.e., not giving her the solution straight up but urging her to think for herself. In this way, you can truly create a space for your child to develop her skills, while at the same time being within the bounds of firm limits and keeping your child safe.
How do parents find time for themselves, their hobbies?
@Team Does your life constantly revolve around your children without any time for yourself? If yes, then its time to pause and reflect.
How to deal with a child (16 months) who wont eat food? Who throws food?/how to make a 1.5 yr old child eat and enjoy his meal?
@Team Dear parent, meal times are unfortunately struggle times in many households these days! But they neednt be. Let us first look at our own philosophy underlying eating behaviour. Many parents believe that a child should eat a specific amount (specified by the parent of course) and should clean their plate. This is actually a myth- very young children (even infants!) know how much to eat- their appetite is regulated by their hunger cues which they are naturally in touch with. We parents are a lot of times responsible for killing these cues in our children by force feeding or distraction feeding our kids or by having rules such as clean your plate. So even if your young child is eating just a spoon of food, respect his choice. He will definitely not starve himself. Just ensure you have enough healthy options available in your house (e.g., fruits kept within reach on the dining table; snacks such as lotus seeds, roasted dry nuts, fried gram, seeds, etc. kept in small accessible containers). Also, try to eat together as a family and dont fall into the temptation of cooking separately for your child. Give him family meals and avoid junk/processed food. You will be paving the way for life-long healthy eating habits if you follow all the above guidelines. Regarding throwing food, communicate clearly and gently to your child that we dont throw food, and then take away the plate for a while. Then return the plate after some time and if your child continues to throw food, that means he is full and/or not interested in eating. So take the plate away and offer food when the child indicates hunger.
What should be done in case of a stubborn child, when they resist our actions by using force, biting, etc.?
@Team Stubbornness and toddlers go together, and dealing with a stubborn child can be stressful for parents. If youre the parent of a stubborn toddler, here are some tips to handle his stubbornness.
I am very confused about my childs behaviour. I have to call her name out many times to get her attention, making eye contact and empathising. But sometimes it doesnt work at all. She is 22 months old, not started talking yet. I am talking to her and trying. What else can I do?
@Team Dear parent, it can be very frustrating to have a young child not listen to you. However, young children may not listen to parents for a number of reasons: they are engaged in some activity and dont want to be interrupted; they didnt hear you; or theyre in their own world and spaced out. There are also a number of parent reasons why our child may not listen to us: our own communication is not clear; we ask repeatedly, then give up and do it ourselves; we give too many commands or instructions; we give long distance commands (from another room); or we ourselves may not listen to the child when we are busy. What you will choose to do should flow from the reasonfor example, if your child is engrossed in an activity, its better to wait and once shes done, go down to her eye level, touch her gently on her shoulder and make eye contact. Then say your request politely and firmly. Back it up with an action. For example, if your child is blowing bubbles in her soup, you need to stay stop with your words and then follow through by taking the bowl away for a while. Similarly, we also need to be able to make our communication clearfor example, we should ideally give only one command at a time, keep our words brief, and move on to the action step.
Being a homemaker and being the only person around my child, how do I keep my son engaged with other activities apart from being behind me all the time? Though there are toys and books, he doesnt engage himself for long.
@Team Worried about how to get your child to spend her leisure time in a fruitful manner? The answer lies in good old hobbies.
How to strike a balance in a) screen time, b) sweets/chocolates, c) toys?
@Team Good rules never go out of style, as they always remain relevant. But, how can we frame good rules at home for children? Here are our tips to establish rules.
How to constantly keep evolving as an understanding parent.
@Team Dear parent, yes, as parents we need to be constantly updated about our childs developmental needs and understand how to strike a balance between those and what their environment offers. One of the most effective ways to keep yourself updated is to join parenting communities (such as those in your childs pre-school and online such as ParentCircle). This will help you keep in touch with the issues faced by other parents, and what helps them and what works in their families. It will also keep you abreast with the latest findings in child development. Another way is to keep evolving as a parent is being cued into your child. Being sensitively attuned to your child means understanding her needs with her growing age and vis--vis todays world. It also means not using a parenting approach just because you were parented that way, because the requirements of todays kids are much different than ours when we were growing up. A good guideline is Dan Siegals 4S- Seen (perceiving the child deeply and empathically), Safe (avoiding actions and responses that hurt the child), Soothed (helping the child deal with difficult emotions and situations), and Secure (helping the child develop an internalised sense of well-being). Remember at the workshop we talked about this? Attuning and adjusting to your childs needs gives your parenting an extra edge in healthy development in all aspects of life.
How to stop her from doing dangerous/ unsafe things?
@Team Dear parent, with small kids it seems we have to constantly watch out for their safety! However, keeping our children safe from physical danger is one of the most universal jobs of parenting. Firstly, look around your house and check to see what parts need child-proofing. Are the switch sockets open? Cover unused outlets with safety caps. Are your medicines or toilet cleaners kept in lower cupboards? Install locks or safety latches on cabinets and drawers. Are there stairs in your house? Use safety gates at the top & bottom of stairs. Secondly, for things outside your control, such as your child running toward a busy road or reaching for the ladle in a hot dal on the stove, a strong response is warranted. However, instead of shouting No! you could say things like Stop! and follow it up with hurt baby. As you firmly grab her exploring hand, tell her again clearly Hot. Hurt. Dont touch whats on the gas. Ouchie! Follow this with a hug if youve spoken harshly the first time around. Dont resort to beating or spanking your child to drive home the point of safety. Your young child, even after your clear instructions the first time around, will need multiple reminders, every day and in varied situations, to learn about safety. It requires caution and patience at your end.
She is throwing mud and hurting other kids. How do I stop it?
@Team Many toddlers develop the habit of hitting others. Most indulge in it when they are upset, but some do it even when they are happy. No matter what, parents should nip this habit in the bud.
I am not able to make my daughter stop crying if I leave to office in her presence.
@Team Dear parent,
It must be so hard for you to see your crying child while you leave for work. But dont worry, separation anxiety at this age is completely normal. You can try the following to make the leaving for work ritual easier for your child and for you:
The night before, read her books about the next days routine - how both of you will get up, get dressed, and eat breakfast. How when you leave for work, you will think about her and miss her the whole day. You can also tell her when to expect you back and what activities you will do together once youre back.
When you say good-bye, dont linger. Itll make it worse for her (and you). Say a quick good-bye, hug her, and leave, irrespective of her response. Lingering or making a sad face yourself is likely to convey your anxiety to her, which isnt a good idea.
Avoid slipping out of the house while shes not looking. That is likely to make her feel anxious and insecure about your presence. It is important that you teach her to be comfortable with good-byes, as they are a part of life.
Are we making the child to experience no only for the sake of others or external environment?
@Team Your question makes one think deeply about why a child must learn self-regulation. It helps him adapt well to his external environment where he must learn to get on well with others. Saying No to a child for the right reasons helps him accept No from others too. Else, he will become a demanding, self-centered child who will be happy only if other people give in to him all the time. Such a child would find it difficult to build good relationships. So, teaching a child to accept No for certain things prepares him for positive social interactions which are important for building his self-confidence and social skills.
@Team This is a very interesting question..and Thanks to the wonderful response.Such questions do make us think more deeply for sure..
One thing is, when children are small, we usually start saying no to them for things that are harmful for them and for safety reasons, like - no sitting on the edge, no playing in the kitchen, no eating more candies etc., and then certain nos are for following rules and for discipline like -no disturbing daddy;hes on a call, no writing on sisters/brothers books, no throwing the blocks out the window etc.,
and then, the rules get bigger and bolder as we grow bigger for instance -No jumping the red light, No cellphones allowed in the hospital, No running in the library, No trespassing etc., and slowly we can see that rules are everywhere. Hence, as we ourselves have seen , rules are to be followed all through school life, to be followed in public places, at home etc., We learnt this as we grew up.
Kids usually ask,what happens if I do it, what happens if we eat two pieces of cake, what will happen if we sit on the fence? etc., and they learn that everything has its own consequence. Some parents come up with humorous answers and usually parents try to answer as per the childs age.
So we all are used to nos from a very young age and when the child is experiencing a no , it prepares the child to face the world and face life in general. It will definitely help the child to be responsible later on and say no to things that are not good for them, their family, and society in general.
Do your children often refuse to play with their toys and complain that they are bored? Teach them these evergreen games that are fun and encourage the little ones to be active
Do you often tell your child, You need to know the value of money? Well, that becomes easier if you try to raise a money-smart child.
Here are some great ideas to engage, entertain and enrich your children and make the long, hot summer vacation turn into a great learning experience for them.
Should you send your child to a preschool? And if yes, what kind of preschool should it be? Read on if you are plagued with such questions.
Its that time of the year when parents begin thinking about enrolling their young child in school. Here are a few regulations that govern preschools which every parent must know.
While many of us ignore it, it is important to deworm a toddler periodically as it helps keep his tummy healthy. Heres more about deworming and its importance.
It is not easy to get your three-year-old to be perfectly poised at the dinner table or avoid a kiddie tantrum when you are visiting friends. But these books on etiquette will make your work a breeze
Are you unknowingly allowing your child to watch inappropriate content on television? It can have an adverse effect on them. Use these parental controls to keep the kids safe
When the child shows tantrums is it good behaviour for the parent to ignore for that moment and explain about it at a later time?
@Team Your child is screaming, crying, rolling on the ground. During these meltdown moments, how can you, as a parent, remain calm and in control of the situation?
How to put engage in studies?
@Team For a child to do well in life, parents need to unlock the childs learning potential and create an interest in learning.
My child is not responding to me. He thinks he is more smart than me. Please say how to overcome the thing, its also a big problem for me.
@Team You must be feeling bad about your child not responding to you. Children today are smart in many ways. They learn things quickly, especially how to use gadgets; and they question us in ways that make their parents feel disrespected or less knowledgeable. And yet, they have so much more to learn as they grow. Kids ask a lot of questions because they are naturally curious about so many things they hear and see. They also have many answers and this makes them feel good about themselves. Your child could be trying to show you that he is smart in some ways. Are you able to recognize and appreciate him for his strengths, and abilities? Frequent chats with your son about his interests, how he learns new things, what motivates him, will help you to bond with him and build better understanding and respect for each other. Within this strong father-son relationship, he will look forward to your guidance in important matters and will take correction from you in the right spirit. You and your son can together make a great team.
Get practical tips and activities from our expert to have a positive influence on the memory and focus of your child.
When you sing those nursery rhymes with your little one do you go back to your childhood? Does your preschooler sway to those tunes and smile with joy?
Who doesnt love nursery rhymes? But, do we ever realise their benefits? In her book, Reading Magic, Fox M states that, Experts in literacy and child development have discovered that if children know eight nursery rhymes by heart by the time theyre four years old, theyre usually among the best readers by the time theyre eight.
Not just reading skills, nursery rhymes offer a host of benefits for preschoolers. Here are the key benefits.
1. Language development: Rhymes offer a lot of scope to hone the preschoolers pronunciation skills. From phonic practice (vowels, consonants and diphthongs) to learning to speak with correct pitch, rhythm and intonation, rhymes and jingles benefit children a lot. Apart from this, it also helps build their vocabulary. By repetition and recitation children learn the syntax of language as well. All this learning happens the fun way! It is an unconscious learning.
2. Cognitive development: Rhymes may appear to be simple. But, they aid in the cognitive development of preschoolers. The basic skill they pick up is memory and recall. For ages, this has been the method of learning rhymes. It serves as the first step in building childrens memory power. Most nursery rhymes are narrative in nature. They involve sequencing and coherence. Children learn to comprehend the gist of the rhyme when they repeatedly listen to it. Thus, their comprehension skills too are developed. Many rhymes (One, two, buckle my shoe) involve numbers and counting. Thus, mathematical skills are also developed.
3. Physical development: Depicting actions for the rhymes, jumping and hopping while singing the rhymes ensures preschoolers attain their movement milestones and develops their motor skills. It also strengthens their muscles, joints and bones, and provides tiny tots with enough physical exercise.
4. Social and emotional development: The interaction with family members, teachers and other children while reciting the rhymes grooms preschoolers socially and emotionally. They learn to emote as they sing along and recite. They learn to associate words with emotions. Also, social skills are developed while acting out nursery rhymes and when standing in a circle to recite them.
How to convince the child and make them do my work?
@Team Not quite sure what you mean by my work. Children must learn to become self-sufficient according to their age. Toddlers are very capable of doing simple tasks such as picking up things and putting them away, carrying small objects to the table and kitchen. In fact, they insist on doing many things for themselves. They are also learning to help you in the house. This is an important part of their personal development. At the same time parents must also be helpful to each other because their children are learning a lot by observing their behaviour and actions. Build a helping atmosphere in your home where all family members practice being helpful to each other. At the same time, have expectations of your children according to their age and what they can do. Very high expectations or demands on them will make them feel incapable, not good enough and will destroy their self-esteem.
@Team I just want to suggest few things..just my two cents. How old is the child? Please make sure the work sounds like fun.
For instance, children love play dough and we have seen them making dough balls for Chapathi,poori,gulab Jamoon etc., they love mixing cake better, helping mom sort the laundry, plucking leaves from curry leaves stem, peeling beans, and much more. This makes them feel big and its like play time for them.
If work sounds like we are moving a mountain, even we elders hesitate and procrastinate.. So let the child not feel pressurized.
Try reward system. If the kid does some work, appreciate the effort. Give a star on the calendar and as he/she accumulates a minimum number stars in that month, get them their favorite something. It could be a sandwich or toffee or toy or making their favorite dish.
If children are big enough, it is their duty to work around the house or follow elders instructions. You should tell them that they must participate in household chores like maybe helping with the little ones homework, or folding clothes, dusting the house, decorating during festivals etc.,
Any little work they do helps us to save our time and energy. All the Best!
How can I stop my child to stop seeing mobile phones?
@Team Quite often parents use the mobile phone as a babysitter for their child when they are busy and dont want to be disturbed by the child; when they want some free time for themselves; or to keep a child quiet or distract her. Both parents and child depend on the phone, though for different reasons. Experts recommend not more than one hour of screen time per day. It is best for parent and preschool children to watch videos together and have conversations about the stories. All children must interact with people and their environment for their brain to receive different kinds of inputs so that all areas of the brain develop properly. Keeping this in mind, you must be firm and not allow your child to watch any screen for more than the prescribed time. It will be difficult in the beginning because you will also have to make changes for yourself use the phone less, have specific times for watching TV, no gadgets during meal times and after going to bed, and stop using gadgets to keep your child engaged. It will be easier for your child to give up using your phone when you set a clear example in your home. The rules about gadget use must apply to all family members. Encourage your child to play indoor and outdoor games, read books, tell stories, listen to music, develop a hobby etc. Put her in an activity that she will enjoy. Be firm and do not give in to your childs demands. She will gradually learn to cooperate with the family rules.
In some situations I cant say yes if explain also they wont listen what should I do that time
How to make a child more communicated with society
@Team Social skills is an extremely important skill all children must learn as they grow up. The learning begins when a baby begins to communicate with his parents through actions such as crying. Later as language develops, the child learns to use words to communicate with others. Emotions play a very important part in your childs communication. Teach him to name his feelings happy, sad, angry, afraid. He will learn to recognize feelings in himself and in others and become more accepting and understanding of them. Language development is another important aspect that helps him communicate. Also, teach your child values such as manners and respect - for himself and for others. Allow your child to play with other children, including children who are different from him. He will learn to accept and respect them. As your child develops these skills he will grow to become a friendly, respectful and caring adult.
Whom to give preference in a situation younger child or elder child?
@Team Yes, it can be quite difficult when both your children expect you to take their side. Many parents fell that the older child is responsible when things go wrong and make excuses for the younger child. This can only lead to anger and jealousy between the two children.
Heres what you can do in a situation. First, take a few moments to calm yourself. Sometimes we are reminded of our own childhood sibling quarrels and we react from those experiences. Next, describe what you are seeing in the situation, who is crying or upset, who got hurt by the other etc. Then comfort the child who is distressed, crying or hurt. Follow this with talking to the other child so that he knows you are also giving him your attention. Ask each child to describe what happened in the situation. Do not allow any interruptions when each child is talking. Ask the children to think of how the problem can be solved. This helps them develop their problem-solving skills. The parent plays the role of mediator, helping each child accept their part of the problem. The final step is to ask them how they would handle a similar situation if it happens again. This helps them use their thinking skills to apply the new learning they have gained from the experience.
How to make and keep(children) them happy
@Team When a child is happy, the parent is happy, isnt it? So what happens when the child is unhappy? It upsets the parents and often makes them feel guilty. The guilt makes them do unnecessary things such as feeling sorry, giving in and pampering them. Parents need to be firm, set the rules and correct their children. Although children may resent you for correcting them, deep down it makes them feel secure and safe, and builds their trust that you will always take care of them. The unhappy moments slowly disappear and they are back to feeling good again. The key to a childs happiness is to create many moments of positive connection with your children through the day make eye contact, smile, share a story, laugh over something, give a hug or a pat on the back. A collection of these moments help to build a strong parent-child relationship and children begin to understand that you love them anyway.
Without my daughters knowledge she is telling lies (hiding things) Please help me out.
@Team It worries you that your child tells lies, and rightly so, because we want to teach our children the value of honesty. You daughter is not aware that she is telling lies. This is normal for children 3 years and below because they do not understand that they are lying. As language development is rapid during this age, your daughter will learn to put new words into sentences and may not always get it right. This experimentation with language can appear as lies to other people. Also, she is not yet able to make out the difference between imagination and reality. She will make up a lot of stories and believe they are real. This is an important part of exploring her imagination. As she grows older she will begin to lie bout things. Its her thinking brain at work, trying to understand what peoples reactions are and whether it works or not for her. Thats when you can step in to correct her. Use the P.E.A.C.E. process to teach her how telling the truth is a better option.
Discipline vs Conditioning - your thoughts on that?
@Team The latest studies on Brain and Behaviour clearly show that a childs brain structures are constantly being altered by each of his experiences. There are millions of neural pathways or networks in the brain which keep transmitting signals through each other and to each other. Repeated behaviours get transmitted through these networks. That is how conditioning happens. When we modify a childs behaviour and the child practices these new behaviours regularly, they gradually become the childs default behaviour patterns. You can use the P.E.A.C.E. process to get your child to learn and practice how to behave appropriately.
Will the kids take a chance if we giving response continuously yes to them?
@Team Yes, they surely will take a chance. Instead you can say No when you need to and follow it with a Yes to something else the child can do. For example, say, No, you cannot watch TV now but Yes you can go out and play for some time. Please refer to the handout on Ten ways to say No. in the folder you received at the workshop. Do try some of the tips in it.
How to handle the children when they act with father and not with mother. With mother they are not shouting and when father is there they are shouting. Tips required.
@Team Now thats a dilemma, isnt it? Things would be so easy if both parents had the same approaches in parenting their children. But that rarely happens. It seems that your children are more in control when you are around and tend to be free with their father. Disciplining children needs both parents to have a common understanding about what rules and behaviour are important in your family. Be clear about the boundaries. Loose boundaries give complete control to the child and makes you feel helpless. The child actually feels quite afraid of the power she can have over her parent. Rigid boundaries put you in complete control. Your child does not learn to think for himself and will expect others to always make decisions for him. Imagine how he will become so easily influenced by his friends. Inconsistent boundaries is when the child does not know what to expect because the parent changes rules anytime. This makes a child feel confused and fearful. Therefore, its important for both parents to have very clear expectations and ensure their children follow the rules. Your children must see that both parents are using the same ways to discipline them.
According to me, I feel its very difficult to implement what was said during the Parenting Workshop in all circumstances.
@Team Yes, I do agree with you. There are circumstances when we need to be very firm to keep the child safe, to take charge of a situation that is going way out of control, or when you are already tired or upset about something and are just not in the right state of mind. However, later when things have settled down, you can use some of the techniques we shared with you, to revisit the situation and sort it out, rather than let it remain unresolved.
@Team Do let us know about what you feel about your little one helping you out with his/her tiny fingers!
@Team My child is 3 years old. She wants to help me and our maid in the kitchen but I feel scared. If she cut her hand or eat something spicy then what to do. What can I allow her to do?
A change of season affects us and our environment in various ways. Your preschooler will be able to recognise and understand these changes better once you teach him about seasons.
Wondering how to get your toddler interested in books? Here are some pre-reading activities thatll help you.
Looking for ways to satisfy your inquisitive childs curiosity? This article shows you how.
How to teach a child how to share his or her things?
@Team Learning to share is a very important life skill to teach a child. But preschoolers are known for not parting with their belongings. So how do we teach our little ones to share?
How to encourage a child to write/do something which she does not want to do and coming up with plenty of reasons?
@Team Getting your child to listen and cooperate can be quite challenging at times. You mention that your childs reasons for not doing something are valid. Yet, there seems to be something that bothers you. Could it be that you are unconsciously reacting to your child even when she is being reasonable? If so, it could help to think of when and where you learnt to be like that. Go back to your childhood. Thats where you would have learnt many behaviours which you carry into your adult life. It helps you think of how certain experiences have impacted your life. Also, you can have a chat with your daughter about why she does not want to write/do things when you tell her to do so. Listen to her reasons, then ask her how she wants to be told or helped.
As a mother of 3 boys, my question to expert is how to deal with 3 different individuals and emotions by being neutral?
@Team Thats a handful, isnt it? The first step is to know and accept each ones personality. You will be aware of how each son thinks and behaves in various situations. When you are neutral in a situation, its easy for you, but the boys will feel that they have not been understood. Describe what you see who did what to whom. Each son needs you to hear their explanation. Others must listen without interrupting. In this way, all of them will be able to listen to each others experience. This helps each of them to see the situation from another point of view, it leads to better understanding. Then you can ask them how they can help the situation. Let them begin to problem solve. When they have settled down, make sure you appreciate the effort they made to sort things out. Say things like, I like the way you did not interrupt when your brother was speaking. Or, It was nice of you to apologize. Praising specific behaviours makes them want to repeat them more often.
What to do if the child repeats things even when we calm down and follow PEACE?
@Team If you have been handling your child in certain ways, that is what she will expect from you. When you introduce a new approach, it surprises her and she wonders if this is just a one-off thing and is not sure if you will continue in the same way. Give her time to get used to your new approach, which means that you will need to use it consistently. She will keep testing you, so do be patient. Whenever the Peace process works, give yourself a pat on the back, when it does not, dont give up. Practice will get you there.
As a parent, your everyday conversations with your son can greatly impact his thinking, as well as his interactions, with the opposite sex. After all, change really and truly does begin at home.
While teaching helps your child learn, does it foster a love for learning? Read on to know how you can encourage your child to love learning.
An important part of a childs development is learning social skills. For, these skills help a child communicate, make friends and be a part of a group. But, how should you teach it to your child?
Whether handling a teenager will be the same as discussed in the program?
@Team Yes, you can handle your teen with the same strategies that were discussed at the workshop, especially the P.E.A.C.E. process. However, as teens are in a different phase of life, it would help you to understand how and why they are changing. Please follow this link for articles on raising teens:
How to pacify a child for him or her likes?
@Team Are you frustrated your child doesnt do what you want her to? Heres how to set clear, simple rules to help your child understand what you expect from her and increase her good behaviour moments.
Age group-physical as well as mental responsibilities of both way
How to make myself emotionally balanced every time with my kids
@Team Emotional balance is about being aware of your emotions and going with the flow of both happy and difficult ones. Kids can sometimes make us feel very strong emotions. Just telling yourself that its alright to have these emotions going in and out of you, prevents you from letting them control you. It helps you stay in control and lets you think clearly. However, there are times when certain emotions can disturb your balance. Give yourself time to pause and calm down, do things that help you feel better deep breathing, taking a small walk, listening to music, gazing on nature anything that helps you calm down. Then you can go back and ask your child to explain what she was feeling when she misbehaved. Follow this up with a conversation about how she can talk about her feelings rather than act them out when she is upset about something.
Is there a different way to parent twins?
@Team Twins are very different individuals, whether or not they are identical. Each ones unique personality will emerge as they grow. They may also have many similarities. Parenting twins requires you to be available and attentive to two children often at the same time. However, the way you parent your twins will be the same in terms of building a strong relationship with each twin, setting limits and safe boundaries and building their confidence. The difference is probably more for the parents who need double the energy and patience. This can sometimes be quite draining, so it is important that you take good care of yourselves, make sure you deal with stress when it happens, rather than putting it off. Accumulated stress can impact your physical and emotional health. Do make use of any help offered by others to relieve you, give you a break so that you can have some valuable time for yourself.
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