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    3. Is there a difference between a parent's ego and a child's ego? Share your thoughts!

    Behaviour

    Behaviour

    Is there a difference between a parent's ego and a child's ego? Share your thoughts!

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    • Team ParentCircle
    • 226
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    • Jun 1 2020

    Comments

    Shreyashi Jun 1 2020

    Hello everyone... my son is 3 years old..he usually plays in the terrace barefooted as he hurt his toe one day we insisted on him wearing the footwear next time he steps out of the house he was stubborn buy we were quite stern but he refused we gave him 3 options he can go only if he wears the foot wear or stay back and he was allowed to choose his own footwear but he preferred to stay back ensured that he didn't step out of the gate and was interesting with the neighbors from indoor he was fine staying indoor we spoke to him the next day about wearing the footwear but he refused and thereafter we didn't say anything...4-5 days later his father just called him to come out along with him he put on the shoe for him and thereafter he is ensuring that he comes out only after wearing his shoes we have appreciated him he is happy about it we also appreciated when he maintained his distance not to step out initially...
    Problem with footwear is solved....but we felt bad as he had to stay indoor though we didn't show to him...we felt that as an ego from his side is there any other way that could have been handled?

    Shreyashi Jun 3 2020

    @Shreyashi Your last sentence- we felt bad...:)

    This is every parents dilemma for sure.. we set rules and make sure they follow them, but sometimes we feel guilty for instance we may say, dont have that extra candy, or moms leave their little ones with family / nanny and attend to important work, and there may be many such situations.. Ive heard from friends about this kind of guilt feeling too.
    We know in our hearts we are doing the right thing but somewhere out of love, we parents may feel bad, sad, or guilty.

    In some cases we see that mom makes a rule and grandma breaks it out of guilt or love. Ive seen this in my cousins and friends homes. Its a tricky situation.

    But, overall whatever we do , we do with good intention and to help the child long term. So its ok. Children will learn and be fine.

    Kanisha Jun 2 2020

    Yes, there is a huge difference between Parent Ego and Child Ego. First and foremost thing to keep in mind is after having a baby, Parent have to prepare mentally and physically that they are going to sacrifice and struggle for their children whatsoever. Parenthood is tough but by focusing on positive and good aspects with optimistic view it becomes easy. Secondly, toddler age is such age where they are going to do lot of mischief, pranks, being rigid at most of the time, call names, make a mess, notorious, throw tantrums and many more. The biggest challenge for parent is to ignore their tantrums, let go of certain situations, put adult ego aside, communicate with them, make one Naughty corner and place them when they behave rudely and count upto 30, 60, 120 and so on. Third, toddler are attention-seeker so whenever they call its our duty to leave all the work and give them attention and priority if they fail to get than they start their tantrums. In nutshell, Adult Ego damages Child Ego especially when they are not properly understood, cared, supported, ignored, beaten and shouted when they make mischief. Children are the reflection of an adult.

    Kanisha Jun 3 2020

    @Kanisha You have written so well about toddlers -how they need to be understood, timeouts can be set and how parents need patience. Over all its about discipline and training them in the right direction, with lot of love and care.. well said.

    Roopa M Jun 2 2020

    As humans we experience joy, anger, doubt, fear, and a lot of emotions depending on the situation. An adults or parents response to a situation or problem solving is different from children due to factors like experience, knowledge and mindfulness.
    Children usually respond differently from elders because that is their way of looking at the situation as everything is a learning experience for them.

    Since I already responded to Shreyashi on whatsapp group, just want to add- Through communication and setting rules, we can help children make their decisions to solve their problems. By being more understanding and respectful of their response, we can help them learn and adapt.