Answered by Team ParentCircle
It must be so hard for you to see your child so stressed out. It’s possible that he is putting a lot of pressure on himself. Some of the pressure could also come from the class if there is raw competition and from self-expectations to ace the exams. Although done in good faith, when you explain things to him, you express your viewpoint and expect him to feel reassured. Since your approach is not working, let's try a different one.
You will understand the cause of his stress only when he shares it with you. To enable this sharing, calm yourself – do things that relieve your own stress because your child will otherwise pick up your stress too. You could say to him, “I know how scary the exams are. It must be making you feel tense and worried. Would you like to talk about it?” Your words will convey empathy and caring for what he is feeling deep inside him and will help him open up and share his fears and worries. At this point just be a good listener. Do not counter what he says. He needs to feel safe – that you will not criticize or offer advice. The outpouring helps settle his fears and worries. Ask him, “How would you like us to help you?” He is now ready to find solutions with your guidance and support. Hope this is helpful
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