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    How to react/praise if my child is good in academics as well as in extra-curricular activities? She's 10 years old.

    Team ParentCircle Answered by Team ParentCircle


    Dear Parent,

    Your pre-teen daughter seems to enjoy learning and doing activities, which means that she is growing in confidence, is a willing learner, and is a happy child. Your continued praise and encouragement are important for her growth.

    Here are a few tips:

    • Each time your child shares her experiences and emotions about her academics and other activities, respond with genuine interest – make eye contact, listen well and connect with her emotions of joy and excitement.
    • Be specific about the praise – talk about her hard work and efforts, the way she practices her work regularly. Avoid using common words such as awesome, fantastic, you’re the best. Ask questions such as, “What are the things you did that helped you to be successful?”. Such questions make her become more aware of the efforts she has made.
    • If at any time your daughter feels disappointed with herself (you can expect this to happen, and it’s normal), do not try to console her by reminding her how good she is anyway. Instead, help her talk about why she feels disappointed with herself, empathize with her disappointment – “You are really upset with yourself. You must be hurting inside.” This acknowledgment of her disappointment will help her calm the strong emotion and settle down. She will feel reassured with your support in dealing with difficult emotions, and more trusting to confide in you. Gradually she will learn how to deal with emotions on her own.

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