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    My child is so polite and silent at school, but at home, I can’t control him. What is your advice?

    Team ParentCircle Answered by Team ParentCircle


    Dear Parent,

    It’s confusing isn't it, when your child behaves so differently at home and in school. As family members, we do tend to take more liberties at home. Let’s think about how we behave differently in different places -  at home, in our friend’s house, in the house of a distant relative, at work. Each environment has certain expectations of how we must conduct ourselves, and a lot depends upon how comfortable we are with the people, and how informal or formal the relationships are.

    If your child is full of life and energy at home and expresses himself freely– be happy. It means he feels safe and secure with you and is comfortable being his natural self in his home. On the other hand, he knows the importance of following the rules at school. Or he may still be figuring out who his friends are, and who he can trust, before interacting freely with his classmates.

    But if you feel your child’s behavior at home needs to be corrected anyway, here are a few tips on how to approach your child and sort it out with him:

    Understanding your child

    • Growing children are curious. They like to experience more independence in doing things for themselves, like to be included in family conversations and feel important when allowed to express their ideas and opinions. Children become resentful and uncooperative when they are ignored or completely in control of their parents.
    • When children misbehave we naturally feel upset. We may yell or shout at them or say harsh things or punish them. Our intention is to discipline them but in the process, we will most likely hurt their feelings. Instead, we could try to turn the mistakes or misbehaviors into learning opportunities for them.
    • Helping children to think about their behavior begins by first listening to their side of the story. When they feel heard by their parents they feel less afraid and are thus able to see the situation more clearly. This non-threatening approach helps children admit their mistakes. Next, parents can ask their children to think of ways they can avoid the mistakes or misbehaviors, and what they could do differently.

    Please click on the links to get more tips on how to manage your child’s behavior.

    How To Manage Your Child's Bad Behaviour

    5 Common Behavioral Problems In Preschoolers And What You Can Do About Them

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