1. Parenting
    2. Behaviour
    3. Frequently Asked Questions from our Parent Community

    Behaviour

    Frequently Asked Questions from our Parent Community

    Behaviour

    Frequently Asked Questions from our Parent Community

    Parents have a lot of questions on their minds and we are so glad they have reached out to us during our parenting workshops, webinars, and meetups, and through our online community of parents too. These are very relevant questions and our answers may be helpful to a lot of parents out there. Here are a few of the questions that came along in the last few months. Our experts have answered them in detail so that every parent who goes through similar situations feels supported. Feel free to add your thoughts, share your experiences, and ask any further questions you may have. ... more

    • Team ParentCircle
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    • 199 days ago

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    About studies in Canada (Toronto)

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    @Team ParentCircle A degree from a foreign university can give your child an edge in life. But, before planning her overseas education, pay attention to these 10 study abroad hidden elements.

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    Tips for the single child in her studies and protective socialization skills

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    @Team ParentCircle Active involvement in your childs schooling benefits you, your child and the school. However, there are some dos and don'ts.

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    How to improve attention in getting knowledge apart from school studies?

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    @Team ParentCircle Does your child think learning is boring? Here are a few simple ways to make learning fun for your child

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    How to channelize the energy of kids, as they are active throughout the day?

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    @Team ParentCircle Hobbies are not just for pleasure or leisure. Having a hobby offers loads of benefits for your children. Here's a list of benefits of hobbies for kids.

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    How could I teach my kids the importance of time management?
    (OR)
    How to teach my child time management

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    @Team ParentCircle The key to teaching your children how to manage their time is to help them prioritise. Read this ClipBook to know more.

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    My younger daughter (6 years) always seems unhappy. She lacks confidence and seems like she needs a lot of attention. I have heard her say mummy thinks I cant do anything well. She is a fussy eater, she gets very scared even with little hurts or a doctor examining her. I feel she needs a boost of confidence and feels more secure. What can I do to achieve that?

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    @Team ParentCircle Dear Parent, this response by your daughter mummy thinks I cant do anything well is very significant! It speaks of her belief about your confidence in herand thats the key to her own confidence. Let me ask you somethinghow do you encourage her to pursue her interests? How do you praise her when she does something well?
    1. Focus on your relationship with her, which at this point of time, is the most important source of support, security, and connection for her. The more you will display genuine confidence in her abilities, the more youll talk to her like she is the most wonderful, smart, and kind little girl, the more shell believe these things about herself.
    2. It is extremely important for you to encourage her to pursue whatever activities she shows interest in. Dont push her but give her a gentle nudge time and again. If she displays resistance to do something or is unable to do something well, talk to her about her feelings. You could ask How did you feel when you came in last in swimming? Focus on her effort, rather than the outcome. You could say It was really courageous of you to try rather than saying Dont feel bad about coming in last.
    3. Dont give false praise. Kids can very easily discern when we are being truthful and when not.
    4. Help her focus on her strengths. Talk to her about what she likes in herself. Use everyday situations to point out good qualities in her. In some families, I recommend spelling out the childs name and brainstorming one positive quality with each letter and sticking this up on the fridge for everyone to see.
    5. When she gets scared with what seems trivial to you, dont diminish her. Talk to her instead about how she is feeling and acknowledge her feelings. No, she wont feel more scared if you acknowledge her fear, instead it will help her calm down. You could say something like I saw your friend pushed you in the playground. How did that make you feel? Talk to her about different situations and what other children might feel in them. And what she can do if she does feel scared. What can she do to find assurance and security? Could she come and tell a trusted adult (such as a teacher or you?) Could she tell her friend not to push her (thereby standing up for herself)? Could she pause from the game for a few minutes and return when she feels better? Empower her to try different options that help her feel in control.

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    How to practice lessons in a soft way?
    (OR)
    How to make my ward feel happy to work?
    (OR)
    How to concentrate on their study?
    (OR)
    How to handle our kids for studying?
    (OR)
    How to motivate children to study without Gadget

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    @Team ParentCircle Active involvement in your childs schooling benefits you, your child and the school. However, there are some dos and don'ts.

    Reply

    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    1. My child is not interesting to eat food. Please advise us how we can manage him.
    (OR)
    2. My son's eating habits are completely different from mine and my husband's. He does not eat junk food but also does not eat other healthier home cooked options. I don't remember when was the last time he enjoyed eating. He is skinny and has very less energy when he gets back home from school. He hates vegetables and fruits, he eats only melons and grapes. When he was a baby, he used to eat everything. After a few years into school, his eating routine has taken a huge toll on me. Please help how I can make him get the essential nutrients and reach a decent weight.

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    @Team ParentCircle Dear Parent, it can be indeed frustrating to be a mum of a picky eater. You can undertake the following steps to ensure your child gets the desired nutrients while at the same time make your life easier:
    1. Start by making a menu plan for the week for all 3 meals. Involve your child and spouse in this process. Each person suggests a breakfast, lunch, and dinner option for each day, and then decide mutually what is to be cooked. If one day everyone eats what was suggested by your son, on other days he has to eat what is suggested by others. Don't cook separate meals for your son, as he will learn to expect them always.
    2. Involve your child in grocery shopping and cooking. Let him touch, feel, and learn the names of different veggies, how their methods of preparation differ, etc. You could have pizza night once a week, wherein you cut portions of corn, broccoli, tomato, mushrooms, capsicum, and other veggies. Have him decorate his own pizza and then bake it. Let him see how the veggies change texture and colour (such as how mushrooms shrivel, tomatoes become darker, etc.)
    3. Don't force him to eat one particular portion decided by you. Make separate dal, rice/roti, veggie, curry etc. and let him serve himself. If he decides to eat 2 rotis and no veggie, don't force him to eat the veggie. Let him instead have the rotis with jaggery and ghee.
    4. You could also mix veggies in different ways to the food your son already eats. For example, cooked dal or veggies such as spinach could be mixed in flour to knead the dough instead of water.
    5. Always have options available in case he rejects what has been cooked for everyone- e.g., carrot sticks, cucumber slices, or dry snacks such as roasted makhanas (lotus seed), roasted rice puffs (murmure), or simply a boiled egg. Also have mixed nut powder and mixed seeds always available and ready to snack on at the dinner table.
    6. Don't offer rewards for finishing meals, such as "if you finish your dinner, you will get ice cream".

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    1. My son while reading time he is enthusiastic but while doing the homework writing the enthusiastic becomes less ?

    2. How make my ward to write fast?

    3. My son does not like to write homework. At home if I say come and write hell say no no I wont write. Should I use force on him?

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    @Team ParentCircle If you worry at the sight of your little one playing in sand, stop it. Sand play for kids is not as bad as you make it to be. Apart from the fun factor, this activity can have many benefits. Read on.

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    In online classes, how to ensure children are attentive in classes.

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    @Team ParentCircle Dear Parent, a lot depends upon the age of your child, which I do not know. Among older children - tweens and teens, some children are able to adjust well to online classes, and many are not comfortable with online learning. It does not mean that they are lazy, indifferent or disinterested. What these children need is someone to help them talk out all their thoughts, worries and discomforts that the pandemic has caused. There must be lots of pent up emotions and frustrations that interfere with concentration while attending online classes. Its tempting to compare your child with those who are doing well with online classes because you believe it will encourage him to style down. But comparisons only make him feel worse about himself and the situation. Instead, try hard to understand what he is struggling with. For example, encourage him to say all that he would like to about online classes, no matter what. Just listen quietly and when he has finished pouring out his feelings you can respond by saying, Gosh, I had no idea you were feeling this way. Now I understand because you have shared everything with me. Lets see how we can help you with these online classes, and go on to discuss different ways in which your child can handle online classes. Break the problems down into small parts to make it easier to solve.
    If your child is in primary school, your approach needs to be different. Make sure your child has enough sleep at night - eight to ten hours. Also try your best to give her lots of free time for play, indoors and outdoors if possible. Ask her what parts of online classes he likes and what he does not like. Tell him that it's okay to feel that way. Talk to him about all that he is missing - friends, teachers, the school playground, shared lunches, activities. Many children looked forward to going to a new class and were very disappointed. They feel deprived of these new and exciting school experiences. Focus on your childs physical and emotional health - he needs to feel loved and accepted even when he does not meet your expectations. Pressure to be attentive during the classes could make him uncooperative. Some children may be absorbing what is taught in class although they do not look at the screen all the time.
    If your child is missing out on learning a few things because of lack of attention, try to help her learn by keeping her engaged with you in the kitchen. Its a great place to observe scientific phenomena in a fun way. Describing recipes helps pick up math skills through counting ingredients, and measuring them. Geography can be included by talking about the various places the ingredients are grown in, how they are transported and stored. Conversations will help your child understand concepts, improve vocabulary and speaking skills.

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    How can we guide our children from now on so that they can face the outer environment since they are limited to our family and family circle?

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    @Team ParentCircle With experts associating self-esteem with success and well-being, it is important for parents to understand how to develop or boost their childs self-esteem. Here are some simple tips and activities.

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    1. How to control my child's angry ness and shouting?
    (OR)
    2. My 7-year-old son is always behaving like don't bother about anything and some time very adamant I used to say NO for unnecessary things that time he starring his tantrums like beating me or screaming in high tone I can tolerate these things in home but in public places I can't manage him everyone giving me advise everyone getting upset with him...Am really worried and trying to correct him ... he is doing this to me only not with his daddy or grandparents...He is having very good habits like he won't do bad things to siblings or his friends always sharing things and very adjustable and he used to tell love u mom many times every day ..i am the only person for him to shower his anger and the same time his love.

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    @Team ParentCircle Dear Parent, I can understand your feelings. It must not be easy for you, being at the receiving end of all your childs anger. But one reason why he is behaving like this with you (versus everyone else) is that your child sees you as his safe space. He can be totally himself with you because he trusts you more than anyone else in the world. He trusts you and paradoxically, thats why his worst behaviour is reserved for you.
    1. What I suggest to you is to focus on keeping this connection going with your son. Pause and calm yourself when he reacts negatively. Deal with him with patience and objectivity. Youll be teaching him a big lesson in emotional regulation if you do this.
    2. Keep talking to him every day, be cued into his lifewhats happening at school, with his friends, in his studies, etc.
    3. At the same time, practice firm limit setting. How is it that he thinks its acceptable to hit you (even when hes angry)? The next time he hits you tell him firmly but calmly that this is unacceptable behaviour, and that he should use his words, not his hands, to convey something. If he screams, tell him calmly I dont appreciate being spoken to like this instead of screaming back at him. Dont give in to his tantrums just because hes misbehaving.
    4. When he does calm down, use the opportunity to talk to him about his behaviour. Tell him that hitting and screaming is unacceptable behaviour and teach him ways in which he could express his anger. Dont criticize him for being angry. Instead, teach him acceptable ways of venting his anger. Brainstorm ways that are likely to help him. Would punching a pillow help him? Or jumping up and down? Or shredding old newspaper? Or splashing his face with cold water?
    5. The next time he gets angry, use a signal to remind him to use any of the decided strategies above.

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    How shall I reduce my anger in between my children doing naughty work?

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    @Team ParentCircle Using anger to discipline your misbehaving child can only complicate matters further. Read on to know how to control your temper when your child misbehaves.

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    1. How to handle a single child?
    (OR)
    2. How to handle a single child in a nuclear family?

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    @Team ParentCircle Dear Parent, there are a lot of advantages to having a single child you can give your child a lot of attention and care. Your child feels secure that he doesn't have to share you with anyone else. You can build a strong relationship with your child.
    On the other hand, if you are too focused or overprotective of your child, he may feel suffocated and long for his freedom and space. You may also tend to pamper your single child and give in to all his demands. This could make your child self-centred and selfish. He may have difficulty taking NO for an answer from others and adjusting to school and other activities. He may expect to have his way always and may get disappointed and upset if others also don't give in to his demands. He may not learn to be responsible.
    So, its important to let your child know how you expect him to behave, set limits, and be firm, yet loving. Its okay to say NO, even if it upsets your child. To build his confidence, give him simple choices, get him to help you around the house, encourage him to try new things and do things by himself. If he makes a mistake or fails at something, don't try to fix everything for him. Allow him to accept his failures and learn from them.
    Your single child may also miss interacting with other children at home missing siblings loving interactions, support, and yes, the fights as well! He may miss having an older sibling to look up to, or a younger one he can care for. However, your single child still has plenty of opportunities to interact with other children in his school and in other group activities he may be a part of. You can also arrange playdates and invite his friends to come over to play with him. If he has cousins living close by, organise family get-togethers so your child can interact and play with them. If they live far away, keep up the cousin relationship via video calling. Plan vacations with family and friends who have children of similar age, as well as children of varying age groups.
    Your unconditional love, understanding and support when required, is all your child needs to feel secure and confident.

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    My son is twenty months old, but he doesnt listen to want to I say, until he wishes to. I mean few things he does not but not all the time. Also when compared to other kids, he talks very few words and gets hyper soon. Please suggest.

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    @Team ParentCircle Excited to hear your baby start talking her first words? Find out how parentese helps babies learn language, and some important tips on how to talk to babies!

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    1. How to be soft with the kids?
    (OR)
    2. How to handle the children?
    (OR)
    3. How to make a child patient?
    (OR)
    4. How to make children listen to us?
    (OR)
    5. My son is not talking politely with others. Not listening to the parent's words. How to change his character soft, polite & calm.

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    @Team ParentCircle In continuation with our series value lessons from invaluable stories, we are here with stories that teach your child the paramount values of kindness and tolerance.

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    1. Mam plz tell until which age the child is to be encouraged for everything, from which age they must be able to cope up with their failures
    (OR)
    2. Until what age kids have to be encouraged for whatever they do? At which they also must be able to accept their failure and to cope with it? mam plz tell.

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    @Team ParentCircle This month, in Super 10 for Success series, we talk about Resilience, a trait that will give your child the courage and confidence to rise even in the face of failure.

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    He never accepts his defeat... As a parent, we want him to have an attitude in such a way to accept both victory and defeat and also be a positive child.. Please guide us how to bring the changes in him. Thanks in advance!

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    @Team ParentCircle Learning to lose gracefully doesnt come naturally. It has to be taught, and is learnt over the years. So, it is important that you start teaching your child early on how to lose with dignity.

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    My son is the only child and he opposes everything we say. How to overcome this?

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    @Team ParentCircle If you are having a hard time getting your child to listen to you, we are here to help you with some great tips thatll make her listen every time you speak.

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    1. What is gadget-free parenting?
    (OR)
    2. Gadget-free parenting for working parents
    (OR)
    3. We are attending online classes 12-13 hours of screen time (online classes and worksheets), so for these many months are not having any good physical activity and we are sitting in the same place for hours together... Can u give a solution to that problems???
    (OR)
    4. In the rapid changing world gadgets are essential, how can we move faster and easier without gadgets?

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    @Team ParentCircle Dear Parent, technology will continue to play a very important role in our lives now and in the future. So yes, gadgets are essential. What we do recommend for parents is that they set aside their gadgets whenever their children need their attention - make eye-contact, listen, and help them with whatever they need. This makes children feel that they are more important than the gadgets their parents use, it helps children trust their parents, and in return children will want to cooperate with their parents. Also spending time with children everyday for as little as ten minutes to play, discuss family decisions, share information and stories, plan a menu, cook together - help build strong parent-child relationships. These regular gadget-free interactions with your child help build their confidence, make them enthusiastic learners at school and successful in getting on well with people.

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    1. My child using phones for a very long time
    (OR)
    2. How to reduce the usage of gadgets?
    (OR)
    3. How can we save our kids from gadgets?
    (OR)
    4. How can I stop my child seeing mobile phones?
    (OR)
    5. How to avoid children misusing phones? How to make sure our children are safe in using gadgets

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    @Team ParentCircle Dear Parent, quite often parents use the mobile phone as a babysitter for their child when they are busy and dont want to be disturbed by the child; when they want some free time for themselves; or to keep a child quiet or distract her. Both parents and child depend on the phone, though for different reasons. Experts recommend not more than one hour of screen time per day. It is best for parents and preschool children to watch videos together and have conversations about the stories. All children must interact with people and their environment for their brain to receive different kinds of inputs so that all areas of the brain develop properly. Keeping this in mind, you must be firm and not allow your child to watch any screen for more than the prescribed time. It will be difficult in the beginning because you will also have to make changes for yourself use the phone less, have specific times for watching TV, no gadgets during meal times and after going to bed, and stop using gadgets to keep your child engaged. It will be easier for your child to give up using your phone when you set a clear example in your home. The rules about gadget use must apply to all family members. Encourage your child to play indoor and outdoor games, read books, tell stories, listen to music, develop a hobby etc. Put her in an activity that she will enjoy. Be firm and do not give in to your childs demands. She will gradually learn to cooperate with the family rules.

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    1. I have a son too. He is 12 years old. He is completely addicted to computer games. He is not willing either to spend time with us or to enjoy with his friends. He is living in an illusion world. I wish to recover him from this addiction. Kindly help me in this regard.
    (OR)
    2. My sister's 12 year old is addicted to PUBG. It is affecting his academic performance. How can we convince him to move away from it?

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    @Team ParentCircle Dear Parent, this is indeed a difficult situation. However, when parents attempt to talk to their son about his gaming addiction, its important that they do so in a calm and rational manner. Shouting or lecturing will only make the son more resistant to listening to them. The parents should empathize with their son and convey to him that they understand what he is going through Oh, Yes. That game must be so much fun and challenging. You cant seem to be able to stop playing it. This is an important step to gain his trust. If the boy reacts and displays strong emotions, the parents should wait for the teen to calm down and become receptive before they try to talk to him. Next, the parents could state what they observe and share their feelings, without any judgment or advice. They could say, Youve been playing this game a lot these days. I see it is affecting your schoolwork, tests, and friendships. I am concerned. Now the parents have opened the doors for their son to join in to find a solution together. They can ask, How can we help you manage your time and keep a limit on the time you spend playing the game so it doesn't interfere with your work or other activities? They could listen to their boys suggestions and then recommend their own How much time should he spend playing the game? If it is hard for him to control his addiction, should he hand over his phone and other gadgets till he feels he is ready to better manage his time? Parents and the boy could work out on a signed gadget use contract (when he can use the gadget? For how long? For what purpose? And so on), and discuss what the consequences would be if he breaks the contract. Then, it is important for the parents to stay firm and enforce the agreed-upon contract.
    If nothing seems to help the teen overcome his gaming addiction, parents may consider taking him to a mental health professional, such as a clinical psychologist for psychotherapy. In some cases, online gaming addiction is triggered by other underlying issues such as depression, anxiety, or poor social skills, and these need to be evaluated and treated.

    Reply

    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    1. How can I engage my child without gadgets?
    (OR)
    2. My 10-month-old baby is very much attracted to television, mobile, etc. She immediately stops whatever she is doing when she sees the TV or mobile. The colours and sounds attract her I think and sometimes even after switching off the TV, she starts crying. Is this normal? Sometimes, she cries so much that she develops cold.

    Reply

    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    @Team ParentCircle Dear Parent, screens are definitely attractive to young and old alike! As much as screens have become an everyday part of our lives, they carry serious issues, especially for young children. For example, sleep disturbance, lower attention, vision impairment, to name a few. WHO guidelines recommend keeping children under 2 years of age totally screen-free. To keep your baby away from screens, you could try the following:

    - Keep all screens off and away from the child. If she sees you fiddling with your phone or watching TV yourself, she is bound to get attracted. Instead, use your phone or watch TV when she is napping or is away.
    - Keep her engaged in activities such as reading, singing, or playing with blocks. Give her outdoor time by taking her to a playground or park nearby every day.
    - Don't use screens during mealtimes, such as to feed her using distraction or to scroll through your phone during meals. Switch off the TV during mealtimes and sit as a family and talk and eat together. - Also, switch off theTV when it is not being watched by anyone.
    - If she does see your phone or TV, turn it off immediately and engage her in play. Initially, she may cry and make a fuss. Dont give in.
    - It may be difficult for you initially because you will also have to make changes in your family - use the phone less, have specific times for watching TV, no gadgets during meal times and after going to bed, and stop using screens to keep your child engaged. But it will be easier for your child to understand this as she grows up when you set a clear example in your home. All the best!

    Reply

    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    1. How to control my daughter while she is adamant and screaming loudly for mobile??
    (OR)
    2. How to change the adamant kid while they are using the gadgets
    (OR)
    3. What to do when the child is adamant and goes on arguing that phone usage does no harm and pushes the mum to prolong the conversation for a very long time?

    Reply

    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    @Team ParentCircle Dear Parent, it can be really trying when children go on arguing and dont give up! The simple rule about having difficult conversations with children is to not enter into power struggles with them. The child might just be trapping the parent in arguments, which do not yield any beneficial results. Instead, when you encounter a potentially challenging situation with your child, think about this: What is the rule regarding that situation or behaviour? If the rule has not been yet decided, involve all the family members, including the child himself, in formulating the rule. If the child doesnt agree to your suggestions, negotiate with him (this will also teach him to negotiate in interpersonal interactions with his peers, instead of fighting). Also, mutually decide on the consequences if those rules are broken. These steps will ensure that when difficult conversations do happen, the rules are clear and if broken, the consequences can be doled out without any argument or resentment. For example, in the above situation, if the limit for screen time has been set for 30 minutes, the screen has to be taken away and shut down after that time limit, no matter what. This does not leave scope for the discussion about the harms of phone use, which can be had later, and not when the rule is being enforced.

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    1. How to keep my child away from using gadgets a lot of time and while eating.
    (OR)
    2. Not able to stop my child from watching TV while eating. Please help!

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    Team ParentCircle 199 days ago

    @Team ParentCircle Dear Parent, I can imagine how difficult it is to feed a young child who is insistent on staring at a screen. However, meal times neednt be battle times! First things first, screen times should be completely avoided during meal times because of the harmful effects they carry- the screen distraction does not allow your child to focus on appetite cues such as taste, texture, flavours, quantity. The ads tempt children into wanting processed and junk food items.

    To pave the way for lifelong healthy eating, you need to lay the foundation for good eating behaviour starting now:
    - Start by removing all screens during meal times, even for yourselves. Dont give in. Your child will initially fuss, maybe throw tantrums, but stick to the rule. If you give in, your child will learn to never eat without a screen. Initially, you child may not eat at all. But if youre serious about making the change, dont give in; your child will definitely not starve herself.
    - Make mealtimes a family activity, with all the family members gathering at the dinner table. If your child needs to eat earlier than other family members, sit with her while she eats, talk about the different foods on her plate, make up stories about them.
    - Offer the child what you eat as a family; dont prepare separate meals especially for her. If she refuses to eat, respect that decision. When she gets hungry after some time, offer her the same food item again.
    - Dont store up snacks that are processed and thus unhealthy. For example, dont keep any chips, biscuits, chocolates, instant noodles, etc. in the house. When your child gets hungry, offer her fresh fruits, raw veggie sticks with homemade dips, or home-made fresh snacks. This will ensure a full tummy even if she refuses meals without a screen.

    Breaking any unhealthy behaviour patterns takes time and patience, but remember only you have the power to break it! All the best.

    Reply