How many times have we used displacement as a defence mechanism when we were upset or irritated? Did we release our anger by being angry with our child? Often our children bear the brunt of our displaced anger. But when shifting our angry outbursts on to our children, little do we realise how unfair we are being to them, who are left confused and disappointed.
Parental anger outbursts have a very negative impact on children. The authors of the book When Anger Hurts Your Kids found that children of angry parents are more aggressive and noncompliant, less empathetic, have poor overall adjustment, might become rebellious, end up abusing their own spouse and affect their career and economic achievement. In fact, investigators from Oregon State University (OSU) and Oregon Social Learning Center concluded that toddlers had more temper tantrums than what is deemed normal for their age when their parents over-reacted to mistakes their children had made (British Psychological Society).
As a parent, it is important for you to be aware of the triggers and manage your anger, especially with children. You should not overreact if your children do not act as expected or are breaking some rules. A patient talk with your children can do wonders rather than expressing it through anger. A bad day at work or a disagreement with your boss or colleague should never be taken out at home with your child or spouse.
You can know more by flipping through the ClipBook by Aparna Balasundaram.
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