My preschooler is a pleasant child but can be very stubborn at times. He starts crying if he is unable to do something and keeps repeating it till he finishes it. In a way it is good, but sometimes it is for unnecessary things. What do I do, should I let him be or something else?
@Akriti Kumar Crying is his way of showing disappointment when he cannot finish something. At this age they are still building their vocabulary and trying to deal with all the feelings. What may feel unnecessary and childish for us may feel very important for them. For instance, wearing a seat belt on their own, trying to help us with our tasks, putting a pillow cover, tying a loop/laces, building with Legos, opening the elevator door, pouring something into a glass etc., Be very patient and let him experiment and take his time to deal with how he feels and try to add words to whatever he does and ask if he needs help. Guide him to slowly come up with solutions to solve his issue rather than crying. It might take time, which is fine. Try to incorporate the Peace process that Parentcircle teaches in the workshops. It will help you a great deal and also help you to establish and maintain a good bond with him. Slowly he will learn to deal with all the stubbornness when he sees how people respond to it at school. His teacher and friends also teach him a lot of things at preschool, where he is socialising a lot. Keep calm and tell him he can use words to express how he feels and speak to let you know what he can do to solve his problem. Hope this helps. It’s just a phase and slowly maturity will set in with all your help. All the Best :)
@Akriti Kumar Dear Akriti, Do not worry. It is natural for them to behave a certain way and your child is still young and curious. They want to try a lot of things and when they fail at it, they tend to show their emotions immediately, either by getting angry, crying or any other way. They will learn from these instances and will themselves try to cope with such situations. If you closely notice, we adults also react the same way most of the time, if not crying, we shout, we show anger, we are mute, etc. Try talking to them. Understand why they are worried. Encourage and help them to do their task. Teach them how to do it if necessary. Give them some time to understand all of these. Be patient with them in these situations ad this will help them try further. Hope this helps.
@Akriti Kumar Dear Parent, dealing with a stubborn child can be really exhausting. And you’re right – it is good that he keeps trying till he completes what he has set out to do. In fact, he is well into developing focus, attention, concentration and determination. He is at an age when he naturally seeks to become independent in many ways. The crying bit is because of the frustration he experiences when he can’t get it right. Frustration is a big emotion for a little child to handle, so he cries it out. All you need to do is show him some empathy. For example you could say, “Son, are you upset?” By recognizing his emotion and helping him to name it, you are teaching him a basic emotion skill – to name the emotion. What seems unnecessary for adults could well be important for a child, though we may never be able to figure what it’s all about. Whenever a child cries it’s usually a signal that he is feeling distressed. Irrespective of what the reason is, he is looking for support from a parent. Sometimes just a warm hug is enough to help him settle down. Or he could just be hungry or tired, in which case you will just need to feed him or put him to bed. And the credit for his pleasant nature goes to the way you are raising him.
My little nephew is very curious and loves to question everything. He can come up with over 10 questions in an hour and it sometimes gets very difficult for my cousin to address all of them nor does she want to stop her from asking questions. some questions are beyond our intellect and my cousin and i have also googled to find out the answers to his questions. This happens in school also and the teacher does get annoyed after a point as she is unable to complete what she wants to. How can we best deal with this?
@Rani Lakshmi How old is your nephew? Curious children are usually very intelligent and they amuse elders with their questions. By asking too many questions, he might be entertaining himself or asking genuine questions or just loving all the attention he gets when somebody pays importance to his questions and gives their time to him. Once you find out, it might be easy to find a solution. As far as classroom etiquette is concerned, the teacher could ask him to wait until the class is over to ask her anything or if the question is too silly, she can ask him to ask the question first to himself and ponder over it. If he still cannot find an answer in his mind, then, he can approach her. Maybe you could speak to him about how to conduct himself in class. Every child is different and even if he is difficult to handle sometimes, it is better not to discourage him from asking questions. It could be just a passing phase. So enjoy his childhood and curiosity while it lasts. Hope this helps. All the Best!
@Rani Lakshmi Dear reader, your nephew's curiosity, while adorable to an onlooker, can be quite frustrating for you and his parent. Its tiring, the constant onslaught of questions by a curious pre-schooler, but it is quite advantageous. It fuels inquisitiveness in children, makes them active partners in their own learning, and enhances their knowledge- much of our children's understanding about the world comes from what we share with them. So any parent or caregiver should always encourage a child's curiosity, viewing it as a positive part of his growth. However, in answering your nephew's questions you dont have to limit yourself to only giving him verbal answers. With the use of toys, videos, and demos you can explore other medium through which you could satisfy his curiosity. Also, try making it a two-conversation rather than a one-way lecture, by asking questions in return. Apart from telling you what he already knows, this will also encourage your nephew to think for himself and also join the dots. You could say something like, "That's a good question. What do you think the answer is?" and then guide him in the steps to figuring it out. If you or your sister have already answered the question before, encourage your nephew to recall the answer. Its unfair to expect that he will stop asking questions. Instead, try to give age-appropriate answers. Much of your energy and mind-space can be saved by deciding how much detail to pour into your answers. All the best!
@Rani Lakshmi When they are making tantrums *Ignore, they may cry louder. But eventually will settle down. Being a mother i know we feel desperate and pathetic to see our kids suffer but let me tell you ,you are doing it for their good and a bright future. *You can explain the consequences of why it is not your child's cup of tea. Relax, don't loose your patience you may have to repeat it a lot of times . *Be consistent, make the No sound like No everytime, let the people around the house be informed they must also deny and not add fuel to the fire. Otherwise it may blaze later and spoil the kid. *Be honest, don't give reasons or lie to them ,saying let me try next time. Instead explain them why they don't need it. *Finally, appreciate if they are being patient, or if you see a changed in the behavior. This goes a long way, the process takes time but believe me mothers can do anything under the sun, motivation, patience, and consistence is more important.
How to identify the right preschool for your kid? What is it that I should keep in mind before selecting one?
@Rani Lakshmi Hey, it is most important to ensure that the teachers and staff are friendly and empathetic. The school has the basic facilities, like bright and well-lit classrooms, clean washrooms, basic medical and first aid and a good play area. Ensure that they follow a particular preschool curriculum like a Montessori or Reggio or something else. Most importantly, your child should feel safe and happy to go to the school.
@Rani Lakshmi I personally talk to students from the school and their parents and get to know their motive to select the school and their experience there. The school environment should be safe and encouraging. Teachers and peers and support staff should be empathetic and helpful. The curriculum and the subjects offered are also important to note.
Your once innocent baby is now a talking preschooler. He is making up stories and you find a toy in his backpack that doesn't belong to him. He uses words li...
/booklet/dealing-with-unwanted-behaviours-lying-stealing-using-swear-words/Most parents worry a lot when their child tells lies. Children lie for a variety of reasons such as imagination, making connections between cause and effect and to learn how you will react. Please click on this link to know more about how to handle children when they tell a lie. https://www.parentcircle.com/booklet/dealing-with-unwanted-behaviours-lying-stealing-using-swear-words/
@Team ParentCircle Very useful read..this has long been my concern as well and was perturbed how to address these. As they become older, I saw these habits slowly fading and kids are more understanding and aware of their environment. This article will help a lot of moms like me
On a typical day, how many times do you say NO to your child? How often have you felt the urge to say NO, but ended up saying YES just because you didn't wan...
/booklet/how-to-say-no-without-the-stress/We notice that this is the first workshop you have attended; hence you would have missed out on our Discipline module in which we covered the topic in detail. Kindly click on the links given below. They will give you access to in-depth material on various aspects of disciplining a child, with real-life examples and techniques. https://www.parentcircle.com/booklet/how-to-say-no-without-the-stress/https://www.parentcircle.com/booklet/taming-the-tantrums/https://www.parentcircle.com/booklet/positive-discipline-setting-clear-rules-and-right-expectations/https://www.parentcircle.com/booklet/getting-your-child-to-listen-and-cooperate/https://www.parentcircle.com/booklet/an-effective-way-to-discipline-timeouts-or-timeins/ We do hope you will find the articles useful.
Most of the time, my kid wants us to listen to her, (esp while playing) she says us to follow what she says, but when I ask her to do anything later, she doesn't listen to me? How to handle her, when she doesn't listen to me?
'Wake up', 'Eat fast', 'Put away your toys'.. the list of commands you give your child each day is endless. But, does your child listen? Here are some tricks...
/booklet/getting-your-child-to-listen-and-cooperate/This is a very interesting question. Yes, when you listen to the child, you would naturally expect her to listen to you too. Lets understand why its not always that simple. When your child and you are playing together, she directs or instructs you to do certain things. It is her way of exploring her imagination and of acting out real-life situations as well. When both of you are enjoying the play and you listen to her spontaneously, the play builds interaction in your relationship. When it comes to disciplining your child by setting rules and limits, you would like to be in control, and its not a game anymore. Please follow this link to know more on how you can get your child to listen and cooperate. https://www.parentcircle.com/booklet/getting-your-child-to-listen-and-cooperate/
Your young child insists on watching his favourite cartoons on your mobile while eating; he refuses to go to sleep without watching more cartoons on TV.You w...
/booklet/raising-a-child-in-a-digital-world/This is the biggest challenge parents are facing, and yes, it is hard to get a child off the mobile habit. Please click on the link to learn how you can regulate your childs use of the mobile. https://www.parentcircle.com/booklet/raising-a-child-in-a-digital-world/
How to handle my daughter'd bad habit like (putting two fingers in her mouth) how to drop it?
@Anonymous As your child grows you would naturally want your daughter to give up this habit. You have probably tried to do so in many ways, and none of them have worked. Many infants get into the habit of sucking the thumb or fingers because of the natural sucking reflex, which they also find very comforting. Some babies cling on to an object such as a soft toy, or baby blanket. Yes, it is difficult to break the habit, threats only make the child feel insecure and bribes don’t work. Usually, the habit wears off gradually. As children become more engaged in activities, play and learning at school, the habit tends to diminish and finally disappear at school. The same applies at home too. They will suck the thumb or fingers only when they are tired, hungry, upset or feeling alone. Connect with your child at these times with a warm hug and try to engage her with fun conversation. As long as the frequency of the habit is reducing, give your child time to gradually give up the habit on her own. Avoid making comments, instead pay attention to her stories, her play and activities.
Preschool and KG Parents
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Jul 19, 2019