@Priya Sahay How difficult it must be for your sister to deal with this! Misconceptions about autism are very common. The biggest one being- autism is the fault of the parent- either the parenting style or the upbringing. However, this is not true. Autism is caused by a combination of genetic and environmental factors and is certainly not caused by faulty parenting. Your sister requires support, because she appears to be stressed due to the undue criticism. She will feel supported in the following ways: a) Surrounding herself with supportive and positive people who help her in seeking professional help (such as occupational therapy, special education, structured teaching etc.) for her son. b) Cutting out or turning a deaf ear to unsolicited advice and criticism from family members or relatives. Trusting her own intuition with her son while also educating herself about autism from reliable sources, such as ParentCircle. This will help her internalise that autism is never anyone's fault. c) Joining parent support groups for autism (both face-to-face and online) to receive emotional support and scientific knowledge. d) Taking care of herself. Too often parents of children with autism don't prioritize self-care. Regular routine for her own sleep, exercise, and recreation is extremely important. I hope your sister feels supported and strong enough to handle the negativity and feels empowered to take steps in the right direction! Best wishes
@Anonymous Thank you for the question. 1. He is going through a tough physical, emotional and sensorial transitioning. The changes he is going through are very much a part of his growing up. If we can help this child through this phase, he will be able to transition from the future stage to stage much better. Transitioning from a youngster to a young adult is very traumatic for the children with autism. Their voice breaks, sexual maturity starts taking place, emotional spikes just rock their very foundations. Least amount of instruction is needed. Any other communication to him has to be as a suggestion and offered for choice making. Please allow time and space for him to make a choice. He may not make a choice before he is fully ready to do so. Please respect his wishes. If you hasten him to make a choice before he is ready it can result in regret and remorse within him which may cause adverse reactions such as anger, anxiety, aggression, frustration etc. Listen, listen with your heart for his wishes. Make it easy for him to transition. He is probably terrified of these changes. Probably misses the child in him too. Allow him the space to grow up gracefully. You will rest assured have a well grounded, well rounded young man showing you a new way to live. Trust the process, trust your child. 2. It also appears that he is no different from any other teenager going through these exact same shifts. No teenager likes to be told what to do. So is it with your son. Due to the communication difficulties of the nature of autism it appears rather bigger than what it is. Please talk to the grand parents about the growing up and reason it out with them. Explain that any teenager will react in exactly the same manner. It is not personal for them, he has nothing against them but only is experiencing growing up pains. Love & light, Nandini
While most adults understand how to deal with an autistic child, younger children don’t. Parents should explain to their child, who is normal, about autism a.../article/how-to-talk-to-your-child-about-an-autistic-sibling/
@Dr. Meghna Singhal Thank you, ma'am. This is really helpful. My nephew who is having autism also does not like to talk to anyone or come to places where there are lots of people. Her parents are worried, but I understand this is something normal for them. But I've noticed, she talks well with me and her father, but as you mentioned, avoids eye contact. My doubt was, what are some ways by which they can be entertained? Her mother says that she sometimes just sits by herself without doing anything. Won't they be bored? Is that what makes them comfortable?
@Anonymous Good job talking with your nephew with autism! Children with autism like to play, but their play is different from their typically-developing peers. In fact playing with a child with autism can be very challenging for an adult, due to the child's difficulty in communication and restricted repetitive interests. However, an adult and a child with autism can enjoy many activities together. To choose an activity, start by observing the child's play, and if he is verbal, ask questions. What does he enjoy? Next, try joining in the child's activity, following his lead. With you're playing with a child with autism, there is no 'right' or 'wrong' way of playing- the most important part is engagement and communication, not instruction. Following are some activities that you can enjoy with the child: legos, trains, science fiction and fantasy, swimming, building or taking apart (e.g., items such as small clocks), walking or hiking, and puzzle solving. In most of these activities, the ability to speak, sit still, or otherwise 'behave normally' are not required. So try some of these or other activities with your nephew and have fun!
Outdoor play benefits all children, and it can improve behaviour, social skills and attention in children with Autism Spectrum Disorder. Time to show your ch.../article/5-outdoor-activities-for-children-with-autism-spectrum-disorder-asd/