Arundhati Swamy
Nov 20, 2017Hi. Thanks for reaching out. There are two aspects in your question. The first is your son's levels of confidence - does he have a realistic view of his efforts and their outcomes. His confidence could be genuine, or he could be putting a lot of pressure on himself to achieve the goal. I wonder what motivated him towards the IIT goal. That could give some clues. Also, you must have good reason to believe that he is not yet ready for JEE Main. Sometimes doubts come from our own fears, or because we disagree with their choices. The second aspect is to do with how you can best support him. Help him explore his preparation pattern and plans and how effective they are. Let him continue with his efforts since he is so determined, and also have friendly conversations about why it's important for anyone to have a plan B in place. Could you please let me know which class he is in?
Anonymous
Dec 14, 2017@Arundhati Swamy First thing, I find the preparation for JEE is not enough: When he struggles to get good marks in the class test and finding it challenging to find time to do practical sums on old JEE question papers. I was telling him to do 5 questions from the old papers to crack everyday, but he is not. Also his method of studying is reading the book and trying out problem sums from notes, if only he tries new problems everyday for the question bank, it will help him. Most of the time, he won't do problem sums when he don't know. He has to try the unknown ones to crack the exam not keep doing the easy ones. I agree, I have my own fear, that with the limited seats with all the brilliant talents vying for the exam, how can he compete and get into IIT, hence I want him to understand that this will not help. It is very difficult to make him understand. I really don't want him to get discouraged.
ReplyArundhati Swamy
Dec 15, 2017@Anonymous Hi. it looks like you are really up against a tough situation. There are times when our kids will face disappointment and its most painful for parents to see them struggle through it. S,ince your son is ever so determined to do it his way, maybe you just need to brace yourself for the outcome. He could surprise you and himself with good results , or he could face failure. While you may be convinced that his preparation is inadequate, there really is no other alternative except to let him go ahead, and await the results. During this time you could prepare yourself emotionally to deal with possible disappointment and also learn how to support him if the worst happens. Much as we would like to protect our kids, there are times when we just can't, so we all need to support each other through the disappointment. Later, the experience can be used to learn from it and move on. Do let me know if you would like some tips on how to prepare yourself, if the disappointment happens.
Reply
Exam Stress
How do I tell my son that he will not be able to crack JEE Exam while he is putting all his effort
My son is preparing for IITJEE, but I found he has to go a long way to get to crack JEE Main. How can I tell him? I fear if I say something it would affect his morale/ confidence. But I really want to tell him that there are other areas where he can do well. I know he will not listen. He will hit back saying 'Mom, why r you losing the confidence in me'. He is stressed out. Actually, I want to help him
Natasha saxena
Nov 20, 2017