@Anonymous Your child probably is more comfortable with known people and less-crowded, noisy environments. He is just 6 so it is better not to force. Ask him what he would like to do for his birthday. Suggest to him that instead of throwing a birthday bash for him, you as a family can go out to a nearby orphanage or oldage home to spend some quality time with them. You could tell him how exciting and satisfying it would be to have a cake-cutting with the inmates of such a home. This aside, in the midst of play or fun, ask him why he does not like birthday parties. Probably, he may have had some unpleasant experience in a party, which has turned him away from such celebrations.
@Anonymous Dear parent, Unusual behaviour in children can be a cause of concern for parents. Not wanting to attend birthday parties or celebrate his own birthday does seem unusual for a 6 year old. But before deciding what to do, let’s first ask ourselves: what is the reason for this behaviour? Is your son shy? Does he have difficulty making friends? Does he have a friend in his class or in his friends’ circle who perhaps bullies him? Or does your son have a completely different idea of celebration altogether? What would be helpful is if you have ongoing conversations with your son (not in a ‘let’s sit and talk about it’ manner but a very casual manner, while watching TV or driving somewhere together). Ask him if he likes to play with his friends, which friends he likes and which he doesn’t, and why. Share your own personal stories of friendships with him. Talk to him about celebrations and how there are many ways in which we can celebrate birthdays. Once you’re convinced that his reasons have nothing to do with any problem such as being bullied or lack of skills for making friends, go ahead and let him choose to celebrate his birthday the way he wants. Do ensure, however, that you provide your own guidance and inputs. All the best!
@Anonymous My nephew too was like this. And, now he is 15, and loves to interact and met people. I think i is a matter of time and patience. And, I would advice that you do not force him to socialise because some children take time, and there is nothing wrong with that. Even my children are new to India as they were born in Spain. It is taking them time to adjust to Hyderabad. Initially even I was concerned about them keeping to themselves, but I can gradually see them trying to mingle more with friends.
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@Team ParentCircle Thank you so much for sharing these tips. These are really helpful. I often see a lot of party leftovers dumped in the apartment bin and this really saddens me. If we all try to follow these slowly, I'm sure we'll be able to reduce wastage. I usually count those people who help me every day - cook, maid, security and would make sure to pack some food for them also whenever I host parties.
@Anonymous Hi. Seeing this makes me so happy. It's so nice to see you trying to accept it, feel happy and proud of your child the way they are and wanting to celebrate their decision. With the Transgender Awareness Week coming up in a few weeks, I'm happy to see you think about celebrating it with your child and making it memorable. My suggestions are to do something that your child will be comfortable with and loves doing. You can plan a treasure hunt at home planned over the entire week with clues leading him to short motivational messages from you and the final clue leading to a bigger surprise. This needn't necessarily be anything expensive or anything. I'm sure wherever you're staying, there'll be a lot of discussions, events happening over that week where people gather, discuss, open up, share stories and experiences and chat. This I feel, would be something that will make your child feel the sense of community with people who are also like them and probably if he likes it the first time, he can attend more such events. Spend more time with your child and have more conversations. I'm sure you've had these before, but do it more often. This will help you understand your child, his interests and thoughts better. These are just a few suggestions from my end. Start building these conversations amongst your family too and to be honest, I'm glad you came forward to ask this. This made my day!
@Anonymous Really encouraging to see you accept your child's sexuality. Not only that, you also want to celebrate it, which is very heartening. You can conduct a gathering at your house and speak about how happy you about your child's identity of himself. You can also ask him to speak about his journey of accepting and coming to terms with his sexuality. This will motivate him and keep his spirits high. Wishing your child, All the Best!
@Anonymous Thank you so much for your support. It means a lot. I really like your suggestions. I think I my child could really use a sense of community, and the treasure hunt sounds interesting too. Thank you for such lovely ideas.
@Subhechha Chatterjee @Subhechha Chatterjee Thank you for your support. I must say I wasn't expecting this much support and was quite nervous at posting this here. But people here have been so kind. Yes, I could do this. I shall co-ordinate with my son to see how comfortable he is with this first. I think he would be and it would be nice if I could do this for him.
@Anonymous Hi, It's nice to see that you want to surprise your dad on his bday. ☺️ Consider what your dad would like to do? What are his tastes? Of course he would enjoy whatever surprise you throw him. No matter what. But, you can take it to the next step by doing something for him that he really enjoys.