@Team ParentCircle I agree that sometimes as parents we can be on either extremes of the parenting style scale. At time we are super strict and hard on them, while during certain instances we are too lenient with them. It happens with me too, I know that what my son is doing may be wrong but the guilt of not spending enough time with him dominates over my strict-mother image and I allow him to do certain things. But true, I do not want him to be labelled as spoilt brat because of mistakes made b y me as a parent.
@K V Veena Dear reader, it can be very trying when kids don't listen and indulge in activities we know are harmful for them. However, reprimanding the child rarely teaches her skills to deal with the issue at hand. Instead, involve all the family members, including the child herself, in formulating the rule regarding gadget use in the house- for example, how many minutes per day and what content (games, videos, etc.) is permissible. If the child doesn’t agree to your suggestions, negotiate with her (this will also teach her to negotiate in interpersonal interactions with his peers, instead of fighting). Also mutually decide on the consequences if those rules are broken. For example, in the above situation if the limit for gadget use has been set for 30 minutes, the gadget has to be taken away and shut down after that time limit, no matter what. This does not leave scope for any arguments or discussion. Additionally together with the child it will be helpful to draw a list of activities that the child can pursue instead of using gadgets. Is she interested in dancing and can be enrolled in a dance class? Is she interested in chess and can play chess with a friend? Puzzles? Badminton? Reading? The list of engaging activities is endless. Lastly, ask the parents to monitor their own gadget use. Do they eat dinner while watching TV or scrolling on their mobile? If yes, this sets a poor precedent for the child. If any rule regarding gadget use has to be enforced successfully, the parents will have to cut down on their own use. All the best!
@K V Veena I think the key lies in us spending more time playing, telling stories, cooking or doing some recreational activity with children when they are bored. Children at this age have very short attention spans and we need to understand that as well. As soon as we can divert their attention towards something they enjoy and that you can do together as parent and child, then it serves not only as a learning exercise but also as a great way of bonding. Please try engaging more with your child and connect with her as child and not as a parent!
@Pragatii Jalal Ruia Dear Parent, Kudos for wanting to help your child become more expressive! Your child seems to be an introvert, which means he might be more internally focused, i.e., instead of seeking stimulation outside, he focuses more on his thoughts, feelings, and mood. Being introverted is perfectly alright, and is a part of a child's temperament, which means it cannot be changed. However, you can definitely take some steps in helping your child express himself more: · Talk regularly with your child. To draw your child in, it is a good idea to have ongoing & regular conversations with him. Chat during ad breaks about your favourite parts of the TV show, during dinner about the best part of your day, during car rides about his favourite activities, and during meal preparation about the steps involved. Model phrases, introduce new words, and discuss new concepts. · Role-play conversations. Take some common situations your child faces daily and role-play conversations with him, say at the lunch hour, in the playground, or at an activity class. Take turns pretending to be each person in the conversation, so that you can help your child practice different responses. · Read together. Reading is considered to be one of the best joint activities to do with your child because not only does it increase his vocabulary, it also helps develop an understanding of characters and plot. Through books, you could discuss various situations with your child, such as “what do you think would have happened if Jack had not returned to the giant’s castle?” · Have him voice his opinions and choices. Give your child the space to make choices on a daily basis. Ask him why he made a particular choice. Encourage him to use I statements, such as “I feel”, “I think”, etc. · Encourage journaling. Journaling is a very effective way of expressing one’s thoughts and feelings. Encourage your child to journal his day-to-day activities, which will ultimately help him feel more prepared when talking about his day or his views. All the best!