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    Preteens and Teens

    Changes in Adolescence

    Why is my teen going through so many changes? How can I support my teen? How do I stay calm within myself? Ask all your questions and get answers from fellow parents and experts!

    Team
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    • Thu, Jul 12, 2018, 11:12 AM

    Comments

    Team Mar 28 2019

    Recently I found out that my 13 year old son had a pack of cigarettes in his bag. On asking him he said that his friends had forced him to buy it from them and give them cash. I am very sad and disappointed. I am clueless about how to handle this issue!

    Team Mar 28 2019

    @Team Being in good company is extremely important. Since you know your child and if what he is saying is true, then, those kids cannot be called his friends. Did they bully or intimidate him to buy it ? try to find out more about what really happened and what is going on. Unfortunately this group of kids seems to be heading for trouble and the sad news is that theses bullies will have supporters, who will listen to them and respect them out of fear or whatever reason, and your child will never be able to please all of them. Please tell him that it is ok to be different from them. There is no need to buy or use anything just to please this group of kids or belong in that group. He can find better friends and he doesnt need these kind of people in his life. Also educate him about the harmful effects of smoking and tell him that smoking is something that you dont believe in or do. He should take decisions that are good for him, his family, and everybody in general. Highlight his strong points and good behavior and tell him that he has made you proud several times and you hope he continues that all his life. Good Luck.

    Team Mar 28 2019

    @Team Dear parent, I can imagine how worried you must be about this. There are a few issues here: 1) is your teen smoking-in which case is it due to peer pressure? and 2) is he telling the truth- was he indeed forced to buy the cigarettes, which means he lacks assertiveness or is he telling lies to cover up his own smoking? The best way to find out whats really going on is to have regular ongoing conversations with your son. Be cued into his life, talk to him daily (not just asking him questions but also sharing about your own day), and ensure that when he does share something (even if you dont approve of it) resist the urge to scold or lecture him. Adolescents are only put off and pushed away by adults who are judgmental. You could also invite your sons friends home and have friendly conversations to get to know them better. This isnt to say that you should encourage the activities you know are harmful or undesirable. You can and should pass on your own values to him in a way that doesnt sound preachy. Specifically, with regard to smoking, its possible that your son does lack assertiveness skills to be able to say no to his friends (whether to actually smoke himself or to buy the cigarettes). In this case, you should teach him how he can stand up for himself, despite pressure from his friends. Use everyday moments to talk about friendships and what they entail. For example, friendships should be characterized by mutual respect and not coercion. Talk about how its not okay to force someone to do things they are not comfortable with, no matter how much fun it may seem to you. Also, play the What if? game. Discuss with your son some possible peer pressure situations. Ask him what he would do in such situations. This will equip your son with tools he can use if an actual situation arises without having to think his feet about what to do.

    Team Mar 1 2019

    Do your teenss actions confuse you? Do you feel like she doesnt want to spend as much time with you anymore? Well, you are not alone! Lets take a look inside the teen brain together.

    Team Jan 3 2019

    Does your teen keep her digital device away or turn it off when she sees you? Chances are, she is watching something explicit. Read on to understand how you should talk to your teen about porn >>> https://www.parentcircle.com/article/are-you-prepared-to-talk-to-your-teen-about-porn/

    Team Jan 3 2019

    @Team Does your teen keep her digital device away or turn it off when she sees you? Chances are, she is watching something explicit. Read on to understand how you should talk to your teen about porn.

    Team Dec 17 2018

    Does your child worry about going back to school or comes up with excuses to stay at home? Chances are that she may be experiencing back-to-school anxiety. Here are some tips to help your child. Read here >>> https://www.parentcircle.com/article/7-ways-to-manage-backtoschool-anxiety/

    Team Dec 17 2018

    @Team Does your child worry about going back to school or comes up with excuses to stay at home? Chances are that she may be experiencing back-to-school anxiety. Here are some tips to help your child.

    Team Dec 7 2018

    If you are having a hard time getting your child to listen to you, we are here to help you with some great tips thatll make her listen every time you speak. Read here https://www.parentcircle.com/article/how-to-get-your-child-to-listen-to-you/

    Team Dec 7 2018

    @Team If you are having a hard time getting your child to listen to you, we are here to help you with some great tips thatll make her listen every time you speak.

    Team Dec 3 2018

    Are you the parent of an adolescent? Well then, here are 7 conversations you must have with your teen to help him easily navigate the change from child to adult. Read more here >>> https://www.parentcircle.com/article/7-conversations-you-must-have-with-your-teen-and-when/

    Team Dec 3 2018

    @Team Are you the parent of an adolescent? Well then, here are 7 conversations you must have with your teen to help him easily navigate the change from child to adult.

    PC Nov 7 2018

    My 13-year-old asked me what sex is, what do I tell her?

    PC Nov 12 2018

    @PC As a parent we all come across some verbal speed bumps when it comes to talking to children especially teens about sex. But its better for you to answer her than let her find the answers for herself. Remember that talking about sex with your teen isnt a one-time exchange. Admit your discomfort and stay calm, you can begin by saying this is going to be awkward but we need to talk about it anyway as it is an important health and safety issue. Ask her what she thinks about sex. You can elaborate on what she says to answer her. Try to be open and honest with your teen about pretty much everything, in an age-appropriate way, of course. During the discussion try talking about puberty, the physical changes, good touch and bad touch. Give her freedom to express her views and ask questions by staying calm. Try using this is an opportunity to infuse her with values youd like her to embrace and to create a foundation for future discussions about more complex topics.

    PC Nov 13 2018

    @PC Where do babies come from? How many of you dread this question from your kid? If youre preparing for the big talk about sex and sexuality with your kid, this article will definitely help.

    PC Nov 14 2018

    @PC Thank you, I think this helps. I will try your suggestion.

    PC Oct 31 2018

    Help! My daughter is 11, she says she doesnt believe in God. What do I do?

    PC Nov 13 2018

    @PC At 11 she is too young. She must be confused and probably needs answers to all the doubts in her mind . ( It takes a lifetime to understand God,religion, and everything related to this subject. Her views can change) Actually all of us when we were kids wondered about things like prayers, rituals, ceremonies etc., Elders answered our questions to the best of their ability. Sometimes the answers lead to more questions. Yet, we follow what our elders did because we believe and trust them and participate in the celebration. Make sure you involve your daughter in prayers, poojas, visits to religious places like temples, churches, discourses etc., There are plenty of books that she can read about religion and spiritual topics but for a start, reading comics about mythological stories and about great saints /people is a great way to slowly change her outlook. Also,involve other elders in the family whom she likes, to answer her doubts and questions. Hope this helps.

    mahalakshmi Oct 29 2018

    My son is in 12th std CBSE. Off-date he is unable to get good marks in his subject in-spite the effort he is putting. He got very less marks in one particular subject in his 12 years and he felt very bad and unable to come out of the stress. He now got a phobia towards that subject. I am also not happy with the outcome. I am trying to help him. Initially I thought the way he presented is wrong, but when I try to help him he is not happy. He kept saying that he needs a positive environmet and some motivation from me and he felt I am not doing that while trying to help him. I am losing my patience as there is 4 more months for the final exam. I feel personally that he is not putting a right effort. I told him that his plans and practice are wrong and only the way I say will help him. He has tremendous confidence that hekept saying that I need motivation and not something hindering in the middle of his preparation. But I am in no mood listening. Sometimes I feel Like whether what I am doing is wrong or his. I want to help him, and if he lets me, he can easily get good marks. I also felt that we are annoying him with words like, U dont, if you dont listen, You are talking to much in class, You have Phobia, You dont have time, Go Study, You are relaxing time is already crossed 30 minutes..I also dont know how to stop it though I am trying to stop whenever I speak I end.up using the words.

    mahalakshmi Oct 29 2018

    @mahalakshmi I totally understand your feeling. Every parent is going through this. You are not alone. My daughter is in 12th std, whenever there is a difference of opinion between me and my daughter, I seek guidance from my mother or sometimes I would like to put her with someone she likes in our family. For example, she loves her aunt, so I will request her aunt to speak to her for certain decisions. Sometimes, you can bring their friends to home and do a casual talk to them about your idea, and if one of his friend likes you what you said. then things will fall in place. Sometimes, a casual movie watching, eating out with your kid will build mutual trust that makes things easier.

    PEP Jul 13 2018

    Are you comfortable talking to your own kids about growing up and the changes that come with it?

    PEP Aug 3 2018

    @PEP Yes , I feel by talking to her about the future physical and mental changes and sharing my past experience s we have become closer and are open to share day to day stuff.