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    3. Behaviour in 6 - 10 year olds



    Behaviour in 6 - 10 year olds

    Are you a parent of a young child, who is concerned about your little one's behaviour? Join our discussion to clear your doubts, share your journey, know from our experts and explore more about behaviour and how you can help them. ... more


    Ruchi Aggarwal Jan 20 2021

    My child is very emotional & sensitive. She is 7 years , almost 8. On playdates and in sports(PE) lessons she wants everyone to follow what she thinks is right. She doesn't like if the other kids want to do something else or she focusses on what the other kids are doing in PE lesson instead of her own. Then she takes things personally and starts complaining and whining. Suppose , kids are playing with a ball and the ball comes to her, she thinks the boys are troubling her on purpose and goes right to the teacher to complain. Instead of thinking whether the kids did it on purpose to trouble her or not. How should I teach her not to be so touchy and only focus on her ownself?

    Team ParentCircle Dec 13 2019

    Even as we acknowledge that there is no difference between the abilities and interests of boys and girls, we continue to bombard our children with stereotypical gender messages. Why is that so?

    Team ParentCircle Sep 23 2019

    Dont entice your child with junk food or expensive gifts every time she displays good behaviour. Rewards should show your child that you really care. Here are some inexpensive reward ideas for you

    Team ParentCircle Aug 21 2019

    It is a common challenge for parents to deal with bad behaviour. Here are some tips that can help you nurture a well-behaved child.

    Rajamani Revauthi Aug 12 2019

    We must have all heard this report in the recent past.A 7th std boy set himself on fire as his father refused to give him money to watch movie in the theatre.Today, I was just fiddling with old newspapers and came across this news.

    It's was a thunder down the spine and i was taken aghast. I'm still shivering and sweating, this little boy committed a suicide for this reason. But why? Where is the mistake? Why was he so adamant? I was wondering why is our younger generation hastily taking decisions, why are they wreckless, why can't they handle a simple NO. So, who should be blamed here.

    So, here comes the question. All of us have struggled in life at one point or the other. Hope everyone agrees with me. When we were in our childhood, there was no strong social media influences, not much of mobile phones, we had fun filled laughter's with our friends, our parents would work hard to fulfil our needs.

    One thing I remember vividly about my childhood is my reluctance to go to school, Every day I would make some new excuse to stay away. My mom would come and spank me only then i run after the bus to reach school. Where is all this innocence gone in today's generation.

    Adamancy, Tantrums , kids cry their lungs out if they are not given what they want. We all as parents make n number of efforts to make both ends meet to fulfill their needs, but they are cranky about their wants. People say it's exposure to the vast environment and opportunities, the peer pressure, the want in kids to prove they are better in status than the other. Yes, I'm sorry to say this, there is one more reason to it, PARENTS.

    I have seen a few parents saying my son or daughter is like his/her father or he or she is like her/his mother, they eventually make attempts to get what they want. Is this something to be taken pride of. I would just say NO. A BIG NO. The problem is here where parents don't say no to their kids. Let them hear no right from their childhood.

    When they are making tantrums

    *Ignore, they may cry louder. But eventually will settle down. Being a mother i know we feel desperate and pathetic to see our kids suffer but let me tell you ,you are doing it for their good and a bright future.

    *You can explain the consequences of why it is not your child's cup of tea. Relax, don't loose your patience you may have to repeat it a lot of times .

    *Be consistent, make the No sound like No everytime, let the people around the house be informed they must also deny and not add fuel to the fire. Otherwise it may blaze later and spoil the kid.

    *Be honest, don't give reasons or lie to them ,saying let me try next time. Instead explain them why they don't need it.

    *Finally, appreciate if they are being patient, or if you see a changed in the behavior. This goes a long way, the process takes time but believe me mothers can do anything under the sun, motivation, patience, and consistence is more important.

    Team ParentCircle Aug 12 2019

    As a parent, do you struggle with questions on where to draw the line when it comes to setting boundaries for your child? Are you being too strict or too lenient? Find out how to maintain a balance.

    Team ParentCircle Aug 1 2019

    Ignoring signs of violent behaviour or condoning violence during childhood can result in a child adopting violent behaviour. Read on to understand early signs of such behaviour to nip it in the bud.

    K V Veena May 10 2019

    My niece is 8.5 and is very sharp. But lately she seems to be hooked on to gadgets and we feel that is affecting her performance in academic as well as co-curricular activities. If reprimanded she becomes very agitated and starts crying. How do we handle the situation calmly?

    K V Veena May 16 2019

    @K V Veena Dear reader, it can be very trying when kids don't listen and indulge in activities we know are harmful for them. However, reprimanding the child rarely teaches her skills to deal with the issue at hand. Instead, involve all the family members, including the child herself, in formulating the rule regarding gadget use in the house- for example, how many minutes per day and what content (games, videos, etc.) is permissible. If the child doesnt agree to your suggestions, negotiate with her (this will also teach her to negotiate in interpersonal interactions with his peers, instead of fighting). Also mutually decide on the consequences if those rules are broken. For example, in the above situation if the limit for gadget use has been set for 30 minutes, the gadget has to be taken away and shut down after that time limit, no matter what. This does not leave scope for any arguments or discussion. Additionally together with the child it will be helpful to draw a list of activities that the child can pursue instead of using gadgets. Is she interested in dancing and can be enrolled in a dance class? Is she interested in chess and can play chess with a friend? Puzzles? Badminton? Reading? The list of engaging activities is endless. Lastly, ask the parents to monitor their own gadget use. Do they eat dinner while watching TV or scrolling on their mobile? If yes, this sets a poor precedent for the child. If any rule regarding gadget use has to be enforced successfully, the parents will have to cut down on their own use. All the best!

    K V Veena May 16 2019

    @K V Veena I think the key lies in us spending more time playing, telling stories, cooking or doing some recreational activity with children when they are bored. Children at this age have very short attention spans and we need to understand that as well. As soon as we can divert their attention towards something they enjoy and that you can do together as parent and child, then it serves not only as a learning exercise but also as a great way of bonding. Please try engaging more with your child and connect with her as child and not as a parent!

    K V Veena Jun 12 2019

    @K V Veena Wow! Such lovely and doable things. And what a great way to bond with children, our lifelines. Cheers Mr. Reddy!

    K V Veena Jul 27 2019

    @K V Veena Nowadays it has become a common practice for almost all the kids to play with gadgets. It is very difficult to avoid them playing with mobiles. My son is also one of the child who is addicted to electronic devices like mobiles, TV, i. Pad etc. I try to keep him away from these by scaring him about something which he is afraid. Kids usually are scared for two days then they again forget and tend to repeat the same thing. It is better to keep the kids busy like sending them to some classes like yoga etc so that they won't get anytime for any diversions. Take them to parks ,gardens etc.

    Team ParentCircle Jul 9 2019

    Learning happens every day. Teach these important life lessons to your child to help him succeed in life and become a well-rounded individual.

    Team ParentCircle Jun 10 2019

    What would you say if asked, Are you raising a spoilt brat? No idea! Well, here are some pointers to help you determine the answer, and do a course correction if your answer is yes.

    Team ParentCircle Jun 20 2019

    @Team ParentCircle I agree that sometimes as parents we can be on either extremes of the parenting style scale. At time we are super strict and hard on them, while during certain instances we are too lenient with them. It happens with me too, I know that what my son is doing may be wrong but the guilt of not spending enough time with him dominates over my strict-mother image and I allow him to do certain things. But true, I do not want him to be labelled as spoilt brat because of mistakes made b y me as a parent.

    Team ParentCircle May 9 2019

    Children lie for different reasons and depending on their age, they may not even be aware that they are lying. So, it's best to understand why your child is lying before you react.

    Team ParentCircle Apr 24 2019

    Why do you think a child acts mean? Is it just bad behaviour or a desperate cry for help? As parents, you need to step in and help your child change before his meanness becomes self-destructive.

    Pragatii Jalal Ruia Apr 8 2019

    My son is a very quiet child. He is very well-mannered and good in studies, but he does not talk much. I feel that sometimes he wants to share something, but feels very shy to even speak to me or my husband. How can I help him open up. He is in standard 3.

    Pragatii Jalal Ruia Apr 9 2019

    @Pragatii Jalal Ruia Dear Parent,

    Kudos for wanting to help your child become more expressive! Your child seems to be an introvert, which means he might be more internally focused, i.e., instead of seeking stimulation outside, he focuses more on his thoughts, feelings, and mood. Being introverted is perfectly alright, and is a part of a child's temperament, which means it cannot be changed. However, you can definitely take some steps in helping your child express himself more:

    Talk regularly with your child. To draw your child in, it is a good idea to have ongoing & regular conversations with him. Chat during ad breaks about your favourite parts of the TV show, during dinner about the best part of your day, during car rides about his favourite activities, and during meal preparation about the steps involved. Model phrases, introduce new words, and discuss new concepts.

    Role-play conversations. Take some common situations your child faces daily and role-play conversations with him, say at the lunch hour, in the playground, or at an activity class. Take turns pretending to be each person in the conversation, so that you can help your child practice different responses.

    Read together. Reading is considered to be one of the best joint activities to do with your child because not only does it increase his vocabulary, it also helps develop an understanding of characters and plot. Through books, you could discuss various situations with your child, such as what do you think would have happened if Jack had not returned to the giants castle?

    Have him voice his opinions and choices. Give your child the space to make choices on a daily basis. Ask him why he made a particular choice. Encourage him to use I statements, such as I feel, I think, etc.

    Encourage journaling. Journaling is a very effective way of expressing ones thoughts and feelings. Encourage your child to journal his day-to-day activities, which will ultimately help him feel more prepared when talking about his day or his views.

    All the best!

    Team ParentCircle Mar 19 2019

    Help your child stand up for himself and put an end to the bullying menace, with the help of this article.

    Team ParentCircle Mar 8 2019

    With all kinds of content being aired by the media, it becomes important for parents to keep a tab on what their child is watching.

    Team ParentCircle Feb 26 2019

    Does your child behave in an impulsive and unrestrained manner? What do you think are the reasons behind such behaviour? How can you deal with it? Read on to know more.

    Team ParentCircle Jan 28 2019

    All parents want their children to be disciplined. However, they should remember to exercise caution while going about the process of discipline.

    Team ParentCircle Jan 14 2019

    If your child gets emotionally hurt easily and reacts with strong emotions, chances are that hes a highly sensitive child. Herere 7 things to never do while raising a sensitive child https://www.parentcircle.com/article/7-things-to-never-do-while-raising-a-sensitive-child/

    Team ParentCircle Jan 14 2019

    @Team ParentCircle If your child gets emotionally hurt easily and reacts with strong emotions, chances are that hes a highly sensitive child. Herere 7 things to never do while raising a sensitive child.

    Team ParentCircle Dec 28 2018

    Did you think that teenage is the time for emotional roller-coaster rides? Think again. Tweens in the 7 to 12 age group also go through changeable moods and behaviour. Find out why.

    Read now: https://www.parentcircle.com/article/why-is-your-9yearold-behaving-like-a-teenager/

    Team ParentCircle Dec 28 2018

    @Team ParentCircle Did you think that teenage is the time for emotional roller-coaster rides? Think again. Tweens in the 7 to 12 age group also go through changeable moods and behaviour. Find out why.

    Sarada Dudheria Dec 13 2018

    My 7 year old boy becomes angry on small things if they don't go according to his wish.... He starts hitting every one including his friends.... He doesn't listen his teacher too....even any rewards or punishment doesn't boost him up for doing anything either it's classwork or homework or anything else.... What to do

    Sarada Dudheria Dec 13 2018

    @Sarada Dudheria It could be a passing phase or might need intervention.. There are articles in this website about children's behavior.. try to go through all those articles and try to read books related to this problem. Setting expectations, encouraging good behavior and all sound easy but when you are facing such tantrums, it must be difficult for you.
    Have patience and to change his overall nature, try to adopt different ideas.
    Don't know if it will make sense but when we were kids, in our times, we were less exposed to kids' Tv serials, there were no phones or video games. Some of these Children's programs are so noisy and the games are so exciting that they affect children's mood. Try to avoid these.
    They also don't teach anything much and don't add value to a child's growth.

    We were also told lot of stories by grandmas and other elders which shaped our thinking process and behavior to some extent. When he is calm, try to narrate stories from our mythology or stories that have excellent morals. Use bed time or feeding time to engage with him and tell him a couple of stories about Ram,Shravan kumar and many other characters that have set a standard. Avoid negative environment and encourage him to make good friends. He also needs good role models. If he admires somebody(a star or any favorite person), whenever he is about to throw a tantrum, make sure you tell him that that's now how that person would react in a situation like this.

    Sometimes you need to discuss serious issues like this with a doctor in case you are not able to handle him at all. They might help you with counselling and help him develop empathy and sympathy for others.
    Mother is the best Counselor to a child they say. Have confidence in yourself. Ultimately you are the closest person to the child and have a lot of influence on him. Hope things get better and he becomes a role model to others. Good luck.

    Team ParentCircle Dec 3 2018

    Set a routine for teaching discipline and good behaviour in Children:

    Children may not have a sense of time; but, they love routine. A set pattern gives them a sense of security. So, go ahead and structure your childs schedule such that it looks exciting to him. It can be a 'pizza-night' on Fridays, 'DaddySon' evenings on Saturdays, and so on.

    While planning the routine, make it clear to your child that certain things like bedtime and wake-up times or study schedules are non-negotiable. But show a little flexibility in areas like allowing him an extended hour of play on some days.