The Different Kinds Of WhatsApp Moms
Like how different ingredients together make a tasty sambar, it takes different personalities to keep a WhatsApp group interesting. So, which kind of a WhatsApp mom are you? Find your personality!
By Vidya Nesarikar • 15 min read
Every mother needs a support system. And support can come in different forms. Whether we like to admit it or not (especially if the kids are around), the phone is something we reach for when we need answers to our questions, a bit of empathy, some fun time or simply a vent.
And what better way to express ourselves — than to a bunch of mothers banded together on WhatsApp. True story! And any mother worth her salt will be a part of at least a couple of WhatsApp groups to discuss mommy business. Be it the bustling school groups or the one with good ol' college friends, mommy chitter-chatter is inevitable. And what's more? These groups have become a never-ending source of information and entertainment.
Further, with a lot of mommy groups on WhatsApp, we get to observe all kinds of amusing characters — some smart, some worrywarts, some downright annoying and some overenthusiastic. In fact, we have identified 20 types altogether. Which kind are you and what do you use your group for? Check out our list of WhatsApp mommies in this fun read!
Which WhatsApp mom are you?
While some of us mere mortals are barely able to get through the day doing tasks like laundry, meals for kids, baths and try hard not to shout at the kids — there is that super breed of moms who seem to sail through motherhood without so much as a scratch, and of course post it on social media — so the rest of us can feel like poo. They fight tigers, cover textbooks with brown and transparent paper, bake organic gluten-free muffins, find time for gym and Satsang — and finally also time to share all this on WhatsApp. Wonder Woman — please step aside.
2. The Complainers:
There are mums who seem to make it their mission on WhatsApp to complain – they will crib about school, the teacher, the quality of the school socks, the bus route, about too much homework or the lack of it.. the list seems endless. But don’t bother reading too much into it – it will only get you sad and depressed. Let them vent online and just pray that you do not run into them in person.
3. The Go-to Moms: Where to hire costumes for fancy dress day? The skinny on the best daycare centres? Best place for a doll cake? Which paediatrician is available at 10 pm? Referral discounts on learning kits? These mothers always seem to have inside information and are thrilled to share their knowledge with you. They are useful creatures to have in a group – God bless their creed!
4. The Meme Moms: Despite rules of a WhatsApp group, there remain a few rebel mommies who like to express their individuality by sharing those ‘you-have-to read-this’ forwards. It may be some 'good morning' memes, a blessing from Sai Baba, shocking fake news, old jokes or simply random weather updates from Timbuktu. And strangely, meme moms never have anything to say if you directly ask them something or even simply greet them.
5. The 'Creating Confusion Is My Passion' Moms: While meme moms are a harmless sort (on most days), the 'Creating Confusion' mom simply thrives on, as the name suggests – creating confusion. They will stir things up by asking everyone if they are preparing for the ‘Red’ day tomorrow when it has been actually scheduled for the week after. This category of moms always create a flutter in the groups – everybody counters and negates and finally things settle when some sensible sort takes a picture of the monthly planner or the diary note, and clarifies the matter at hand! If only they would read circulars more properly.
6. The Permanently Perplexed Moms:
We all try our best – to manage the household’s complex schedules – school, swimming class, tuitions, social activities, etc. But there are some mothers who seem to be always missing circulars, mixing dates and getting things muddled up. These are the mums on WhatsApp who will ask about their school on Saturday the following Monday or where the other moms read about the circular about the class picnic after the picnic is long over.
7. The High On Energy Moms:
These overenthusiastic moms invite the whole class for their kid’s birthday bash, organise yoga day for all the little children in the community centre and ask everyone to participate in a parent and child marathon for a worthy cause. Their energy is relentless, it’s hard to ignore them and even harder to hide from. So don’t be surprised if you find yourself jogging beside them on a cold Sunday morning. Yeah happens!
8. The I-Need-Notes Moms: There are some privileged mothers who expect other mothers to give them whatever they seek – simply because they ask for it. Unlike the Permanently Perplexed Moms who haplessly wonder online how they missed important events – these moms bully other mothers to share photos of entire notebooks or project notes or other such bizarre requests. Do not cower and give in – always politely answer that nobody has the time to photograph entire notebooks. We would rather sleep or do a Netflix binge if we have the time. Or better yet – simply ghost them.
9. The Anxious Moms:
There is something that spreads faster than the common cold in kindergarten and that is anxiety among mothers. And there is usually one culprit Anxious Mother who starts off the chain reaction – will the children be safe on the school picnic? Do you think the teacher is doing her job well? Do you think there will be a fee hike next year? Are the children eating their tiffin boxes? These are all good discussion points – but nothing ever gets resolved on WhatsApp and these mothers just keep going round and round in anxious circles.
10. The 'Please Leave Me Alone' Moms: In the age of over information, oversharing and too much noise in the online world – there may be some mothers – who simply do not want to be a part of any group. But these quiet souls are not left alone. They keep getting added on by other enthusiastic mothers. And if they try to leave – they keep getting added back on. And the groups just seem to multiply! School group, Healthy tiffin group, Olympiad group, Rubik’s Cube group, Phonics group, Reading group – well you get the drift. It can be quite traumatic for these introverted mums.
11. The Spy Moms: We all have these people on every social media platform – they will not contribute but will observe all proceedings very keenly. Notes will be made and compared offline – sometimes information is digested and sometimes it may cause indigestion. Tread very carefully.
12. The Enterprising Moms: Mostly mother’s groups are about school updates, after school activities and those odd parenting tips. But there also exists the enterprising mother – who may use the platform for cross functions – such as selling Tupperware, cosmetics, clothes, and jewellery or promoting their YouTube channel. Yes, it can be a nuisance – but if you are in a generous mood – look at it this way – they are simply trying (hard) to be multi-faceted. And sometimes, quite frankly, we all need a Tupperware box.
13. The Earth Mothers: The Earth mothers are the ones who will make you feel guilty for packing jam sandwiches for lunch. They will tell you how to make homemade millets popcorn from organic ingredients (it’s okay if nobody actually eats it), talk about healthy recipes with almond milk, share pictures of themselves pulling out potatoes from their garden, and enlighten you about the pesticides in your store-bought cauliflower. You will always be in awe of their grit and determination – the best way to show your enthusiasm is to reply with a generous dose of emojis.
14.The 'I Know Best' Moms: There is that particular breed of moms who shoot down whatever you say with a double barrel gun. They challenge every topic under the sun and have a strong say in everything. Why is that so, you may innocently wonder? Simply because they are the "best" mothers (well, at least according to them!). To elaborate this point further – they are the mothers who will ask on WhatsApp ‘Did you label your child’s water bottle, sweater, shoes, lunch box and geometry box?’ If you meekly reply that you did label them – they will want to know whether it was with stickers or permanent markers? You may triumphantly reply that you have done both. It’s no use – you can’t win. They will retort asking whether the marker was made of herbal eco-friendly stuff. Just give up and bow down to the ‘I Know Best' Mom. And be warned – anything can trigger them off. Anything.
15. The Emoji Moms: While we try to be politically correct, grammatically correct and even avoid typos and autocorrects – you have those uber cool moms who have no need for language at all. They have swept it all aside and have embraced emojis completely. They are the ones who believe 'a picture is worth a thousand words' and thus reply only with emojis or gifs to express themselves.
16. The Competitive Moms:
There is a category of fiery ladies. They seem to know the entire school syllabus in and out. They will practise for Sports Day and Annual Day alongside the child. These are the ladies who take their child’s progress in school as a do or die mission. Paper mache volcanoes that erupt real lava will be created for science projects, handmade Yakshagana costumes will be made from scratch for fancy dress competition and so forth. You get the picture. And the best part is, every achievement by the mother, sorry the child, will be proudly broadcasted. Should we be brave and tell them they passed out of school a long time ago?
17. The Fashionista Moms: They change their DPs (display pictures, for the uninitiated) faster than you can say ABC and they always look fabulous. They post stunning pictures with their daughters and get comments like – ‘Oh you look like sisters.’ Their hair looks great, their clothes are in vogue, their makeup is flawless, they never have oily skin and they manage high heels too! We all have those divas in the groups – and we can only look at their DPs and sigh.
18. The Pacifier Moms: Sometimes tensions in the group can rise. Discussions can turn to arguments – Is the school giving too much homework? Why did my kid not get a chance to sing at Annual Day? Which kid punched my gentle child? At times like this, a Buddha-like moderator always tries to step in and soothe jangled nerves. Diplomatically she handles and diffuses the situation. Zen values at its heightened best is on show here.
19. The 'Girl Power' Moms: Then you have the firecracker brand of mothers who bring in the feminist perspective on life, the universe and everything. They will bombard you with articles about why pink can be a boy’s colour too; explain why the Barbie doll distorts your daughter’s sense of body image, and will forcefully suggest the best feminist cartoons and books to read. It is always good to get their perspective on things, as long as it’s not too in your face. The best way to reply is to say you bought a Barbie doll for both your son and your daughter. That should keep them (somewhat) happy!
20. The New Age Daddies: We have to be politically correct and give a shout out to the new age daddies – the ones who decide (or are brave enough) to be part of a mother’s WhatsApp group. Roles are blurring, the world is changing and it is not fair to leave the fathers out. In other words, why should we suffer alone?
So, which type are you?
But on a serious note, mother’s WhatsApp groups are not to be taken lightly – they are a storehouse of information, knowledge and support – and more importantly have become a microcosm of our society. Different types of personalities keep these mommy groups active, useful and relevant. Happy parenting!
About the author:
Written by Vidya Nesarikar on 11 July 2019; updated on 6 April 2020
Vidya (JS) Nesarikar is a writer trained by the Kathalaya Institute of Storytelling. Her original stories and writings have appeared in some of the leading dailies and magazines.
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