Sometimes, words parents say can hurt and discourage children. Here are a few phrases you should never use during conversations with your children.
By Arun Sharma
Being positive in our interactions with our children goes a long way in helping them stay motivated and focussed, strive to do well and grow up into well-balanced individuals.
As parents, we always try our best to keep our children in a positive frame of mind. We also try to keep their morale high. However, sometimes, things do go wrong. Either inadvertently or when overwhelmed by what our children have done, we end up uttering words or phrases that shouldn’t be a part of parenting vocabulary. The harsh words we use to admonish our children can lacerate their heart and leave them feeling demotivated and discouraged.
The discouraging words parents say can be divided into four broad categories:
Threat: Parents are gradually shifting away from using the rod to correct their child to admonishing them. However, while admonishing many parents resort to issuing threats. Not only do threats make the child feel insecure but also discouraged. Here are some threatening phrases parents use to warn, stop bad behaviour or gain control of the situation:
Sarcasm: Only a few parents have the ability to use humour in a positive way to make a child ponder upon her actions and reform. Most attempts often end up with a note of sarcasm and hurt the child’s feelings. Here are some typical examples of poisonous and discouraging sarcasm:
Discouraging phrases hurt the emotions of the child and establish the discouragement. Therefore, the purpose of altering the child’s behaviour is not served. Furthermore, when discouraging phrases are repeatedly used, the words are reinforced in the child’s mind and the child tends to construct his thoughts based on these psychological reinforcements. — *Hannah S Mathew
Abuse: Some parents adopt a harsh attitude when it comes to treating their child. Such an abusive approach can cause severe damage to a child’s emotional and psychological well-being. Here are some common verbal abuses that some parents often resort to voicing:
Irrational statements: A lot of times, parents make statements that display poor thinking and an unreasonable attitude. Illogical statements leave children with a feeling of confusion and the sense that parents are imposing their authority on them. Here are some such statements that sound discouraging to children:
The phrases mentioned above are just a few of the many that parents use during their conversations with their children. Although most parents don’t use these phrases with the intention of hurting their child, to the children, they sound very discouraging. So, it is best to erase these words from their vocabulary.
*Hannah S Mathew is a freelance teacher, trainer and certified diagnostic counsellor.
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