Dealing with children requires a lot of patience and tact. However, sometimes, overwhelmed by the situations children create, parents resort to yelling. Surprisingly, most of the time, with younger children, yelling tends to produce positive results. This encourages parents to yell when facing a similar situation again. And, when parents keep giving in to the temptation to yell, they develop the habit of yelling. This can cause a lot of trauma to the child and, sometimes, even trigger aggressive behaviour in the child.
So, if you have the habit of yelling at your child (even if it is only occasionally), here are some of the things you can do to put an end to the habit.
1. Find out the reasons: There are many reasons why parents resort to yelling at their kids. So, indulge in a little bit of brainstorming and find out what triggers you to yell. Is it because your child is not paying attention to what you say? Is it because he is defiant? Do you tend to yell after you return tired from work? Is it because your parents resorted to yelling at you while you were a child? Once you know the reasons that make you yell, take steps to keep such situations at bay.
2. Take a time-out: This is also one of the easiest things to do. Whenever you feel like your child is testing your patience and you are about to burst out, walk away from the scene. This will allow your anger to subside and give you the opportunity to think about how to tackle the situation in a different way. Once you have calmed down, come back and talk to your child. Tell him that his behaviour is unacceptable and explain what he should do to correct his habit.
3. Instil discipline and responsibility: If you find that issues related to discipline are the triggers that make you yell, go ahead and talk with your child. Set clear rules and ask your child to follow them. Also, set the consequences for not following the rules. So, the next time she breaks a rule, instead of resorting to yelling, you can follow through with the consequences.
4. Bring in some fun and humour: Try to resolve situations that incite your anger in a humorous way. This also puts the individual you are dealing with at ease and makes her more amenable to redirection. For example, if your young one is refusing to eat, you can playfully tell him to assume that he is an elephant. And then you can ask him to open his mouth and eat like an elephant. Or, you can say ‘Open Sesame’ for him to open and when you pop in a spoonful of food, you can say ‘Close Sesame’.
5. Do a reality check: Are you a perfectionist? Are you expecting your child to act in a perfect manner? Sometimes, your child not being able to meet the high standards you expect from him may also cause you to yell. So, step back and think if you are expecting too much from your child.
6. Speak softly: Over a period, yelling becomes a habit, and then, even in the normal course of a conversation, you tend to speak in a loud voice. So, teach yourself to speak softly, and with time, you will learn to speak in a low voice.
For parents who yell, it is important to remember that their child will also learn to yell; this is because a child considers his parents his role models. So, start yourself off on the path to putting an end to the habit of yelling right away. However, to end the article on a funny note, don’t hesitate to give a shout when you are happy. A whoop of joy can spread love all around!