The one big puzzle for parents of teens is their adolescent’s turbulent mind. Attempting to understand it is a major challenge for them. On the other hand, teens find it difficult to explain their feelings to their parents. So, in a bid to help parents reach out to their children during this critical phase of their lives, we at ParentCircle bring you a special series, ‘The Teen Stories’. In the first part of this series, we present to you a letter from a troubled teen who worries about her appearance.
I've never done something like this before and, honestly, it's awkward. I love you, and I know you have brought me up in a way that I can talk to you freely about anything. So, the very fact that I'm writing this letter to you (an overdramatic move I would expect you to do, not me!), says a lot about how deeply affected I am.
I'll start by being blunt - I FEEL UGLY! Now please, hear me out. The reason I am embarrassed to talk to you about this is because you have raised me up to be a confident girl. You've taught me not to think that the way I look defines who I am. I get that. I know it doesn't make me a less competent person. I know it's not an indicator of my success in life, or whether I will find my soulmate. You've taught me that quite well.
That’s the reason I'm so confused and hurt. If I know all the right answers, then why do I feel so miserable? When I see my cousins, friends, and classmates around me look so beautiful, why does it make me feel so ashamed of myself? I pick on my food and don't eat anything yummy, while my friends eat whatever they want and still look fabulous. Why is my hair so frumpy, when everyone else has perfect hair? How is it that I am your daughter, but while you are so pretty, I cringe every time I pass by a mirror?
I too want to look beautiful. I want boys to look at me the way they look at my friends. I don't want people to judge me by my looks even before they get a chance to know me, because if they know me, they will know what a wonderful person I am. And I know I am! I'm embarrassed to even think about all this, and I don't like saying out loud that I feel I am ugly. But I do!
Mom, please help me through this phase of my life. I want to believe that I will grow out of all this, and that life will be good again. Every time I close my eyes, I dream of a time when I too will be pretty. I want to believe. I just need your help in making me do so.
Harshita Singha (Name Changed)